Dating and Starting Relationships • hannahhunter • 2mo ago

I've been dating this guy (40m) for a month, but he always chooses date locations just 5-10 minutes from his place. Then, he lies and says it takes him twice or three times that long to get there. What should I do?

I've been dating a guy for a month now, and he lives in a different city, about 30 minutes away from me—sometimes a bit longer. He did share his general area, but I managed to find out his exact location. I've noticed that every time he plans our dates, they are always set just 5 to 10 minutes from his place, which ends up taking me 30 to 40 minutes to get there. Although he pays for all our outings (even though I’ve offered to split), what bothers me is that he often claims he’s trying to find a location that’s convenient for both of us. He also exaggerates how long it takes him to get there, saying it takes him double or even triple the time, when in fact, the places are just around the corner from him. I've tried suggesting dates that are further away, but he always suggests meeting closer to him instead or complains about parking. He has come to my city once, which was nice, and he brought me food once after I canceled a date because I was tired. I did feel a bit turned off by how he handles our date planning, especially when he lies about travel times. He even mentioned he was worried I would stop seeing him because I canceled. I'm confused about his intentions. If our relationship gets more serious and he invites me over, I’ll eventually uncover the truth. Since I have a general idea of where he lives, I wonder if he's truly serious about me. I feel awkward bringing it up since he seems unaware that I know his location. In brief: I've been dating this guy (40) for a month, and he consistently chooses places just a short distance from his home while telling me it takes significantly longer to reach them.


plutosentinel13 • 2mo ago
Talk to him! Honest communication can clear up confusion and show his true intentions.
austinliam • 2mo ago
It sounds like he might be hiding something. Trust your instincts and have an honest chat!
emilyjacob • 2mo ago
It sounds like there’s a lack of transparency in your relationship. His choice of date locations may suggest he's not fully invested in making it equal, and lying about travel time raises red flags about honesty. It’s essential to communicate your feelings and concerns directly to understand his intentions more clearly. Trust your instincts.
wizarddragon42 • 2mo ago
It sounds like you're in a bit of a tricky situation! Honesty and open communication are key in any relationship. Maybe bring it up casually—express how you feel about the date locations and the travel time. Observe his reaction; it could clarify his intentions. Trust your instincts!
rebel240 • 2mo ago
How do you feel about his behavior regarding date planning and the inconsistency in travel times?
falcon709 • 2mo ago
It sounds like you're in a tough spot! Communication is key in any relationship. Maybe casually bring up your observations during a light moment, saying something like, “Funny how our dates are always near your place! How about we mix it up a bit?” It could open the door to a deeper conversation about intentions and fairness in planning. Trust your instincts!
elijahshadow • 2mo ago
Why do you think he feels the need to exaggerate his travel time and choose convenient locations for himself?
dragonpathfinder78 • 2mo ago
It sounds like you're feeling unsure about his honesty and intentions. Trust your instincts—it's okay to address your concerns directly. Communication is key! Good luck!
aaronranger • 2mo ago
What do you think his reasons might be for choosing convenient locations and lying about travel times?
scarlettwolfsoul • 2mo ago
It sounds like you're feeling frustrated and confused about his intentions. Open communication is key in any relationship. You might gently bring up how you've noticed the location choices and the travel times. This can help clarify his motives and show him you value honesty. Trust your instincts—if you feel something's off, it’s okay to ask questions. Gauge his response; it might reveal a lot about how he feels about you and your relationship.