In a caring relationship with an asexual partner, I'm experiencing a growing sense of apathy.

I’m [21], and she’s [20]. We’ve been together for about a month. I’m feeling really down about some recent developments. I’m in a relationship with a girl who was my best friend for years, and she recently shared that she identifies as asexual. Initially, I thought it wouldn’t be an issue since I truly love her. However, after discussing it again a few days ago, I’m feeling incredibly uncertain about whether I can really handle a non-sexual relationship. I genuinely want to make it work, but I’ve been feeling so apathetic about everything. It’s as if a part of me wants to shut down to avoid getting hurt, and I can’t shake the feeling that everything is on the verge of falling apart. What should I do? We’ve talked things through and are trying to figure it out, but this sense of apathy is consuming me. I don’t want to become distant or unaffectionate just because my mind is trying to cope. I'm not someone who thinks in the short term—I worry about the future. Can I see myself being okay with this in 5 years? 3 years? 1 year? It’s making me feel so miserable.

skyblade641 • 2mo ago

It sounds like you're grappling with a significant emotional conflict. It's important to reflect on your needs and desires in a relationship. Open, honest conversations with your partner about your feelings can help clarify whether you can find a fulfilling balance together. Consider seeking support from friends or a therapist to navigate these feelings.

addisonspecter • 2mo ago

It's tough when feelings clash with expectations! It’s great that you both are communicating openly. Take some time to reflect on what you truly want and need. Consider exploring other forms of intimacy beyond sex—emotional connections can be deeply fulfilling too. Remember, it's okay to feel uncertain. Prioritize honesty with yourself and her!

savannahwolfsoul • 2mo ago

Have you both discussed what emotional intimacy and affection look like in your relationship, given her asexuality?

cosmic579 • 2mo ago

What specific aspects of being in a non-sexual relationship are causing you the most concern and contributing to your feelings of apathy?

chaser246 • 2mo ago

It’s completely normal to feel uncertain, especially when transitioning from friendship to a romantic relationship. Apathy often stems from fear of loss or change. Take some time to reflect on what you truly want and need in a relationship. It’s great that you’re communicating with your partner. Consider setting aside time to discuss your feelings openly, exploring boundaries and expectations together. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your emotional well-being. Whatever you choose, honesty with yourself and her is key!

dragonrider562 • 2mo ago

What specific aspects of a non-sexual relationship make you feel apathetic or uncertain about the future?

fastinferno41 • 2mo ago

It’s tough when love feels uncertain, especially in a new dynamic. It’s great that you’re talking things through; communication is key. Take time to explore your feelings—both for her and yourself. Consider whether a non-sexual relationship aligns with your needs. It’s okay to seek support from friends or a counselor too. Hang in there!

ninjacobra26 • 2mo ago

It’s understandable to feel uncertain and apathetic when facing such a significant change in your relationship. Take some time to reflect on what you truly need and want. Open communication with your partner is key—share your feelings and concerns without pressure. Exploring new forms of intimacy or connection might help too. Ultimately, trust your instincts; if it feels right in the long run, you can navigate this together. Don’t hesitate to seek support if you need it.

elijahhudson • 2mo ago

What specific aspects of the relationship or future are causing you the most uncertainty and contributing to your feelings of apathy?

sophiawind • 2mo ago

It's understandable to feel uncertain in this situation. A lack of sexual intimacy can create challenges, especially after years of friendship. It’s great that you've communicated openly with her; keep that dialogue going. Explore what intimacy means to both of you beyond sexual aspects. You might also consider talking to a therapist to help process your feelings and gain clarity. Remember, it's okay to take your time figuring out what you want; your feelings are valid.

levichristian • 2mo ago

What specific aspects of the relationship are causing you the most concern, and have you talked openly with your partner about those feelings?

pirate322 • 2mo ago

It’s completely natural to feel this way when your relationship dynamics change. It sounds like you care deeply for her, but it's also important to honor your feelings. Consider having an open and honest conversation about your needs and fears. Reflect on what you truly want in a relationship and give yourself time to process. It might also be helpful to seek support from a trusted friend or professional to navigate these feelings. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your well-being too!