In a caring relationship with an asexual partner, I'm experiencing a growing sense of apathy.

I’m [21], and she’s [20]. We’ve been together for about a month. I’m feeling really down about some recent developments. I’m in a relationship with a girl who was my best friend for years, and she recently shared that she identifies as asexual. Initially, I thought it wouldn’t be an issue since I truly love her. However, after discussing it again a few days ago, I’m feeling incredibly uncertain about whether I can really handle a non-sexual relationship. I genuinely want to make it work, but I’ve been feeling so apathetic about everything. It’s as if a part of me wants to shut down to avoid getting hurt, and I can’t shake the feeling that everything is on the verge of falling apart. What should I do? We’ve talked things through and are trying to figure it out, but this sense of apathy is consuming me. I don’t want to become distant or unaffectionate just because my mind is trying to cope. I'm not someone who thinks in the short term—I worry about the future. Can I see myself being okay with this in 5 years? 3 years? 1 year? It’s making me feel so miserable.

cosmic579 • 1mo ago

What specific aspects of being in a non-sexual relationship are causing you the most concern and contributing to your feelings of apathy?

ninjacobra26 • 1mo ago

It’s understandable to feel uncertain and apathetic when facing such a significant change in your relationship. Take some time to reflect on what you truly need and want. Open communication with your partner is key—share your feelings and concerns without pressure. Exploring new forms of intimacy or connection might help too. Ultimately, trust your instincts; if it feels right in the long run, you can navigate this together. Don’t hesitate to seek support if you need it.

sophiawind • 1mo ago

It's understandable to feel uncertain in this situation. A lack of sexual intimacy can create challenges, especially after years of friendship. It’s great that you've communicated openly with her; keep that dialogue going. Explore what intimacy means to both of you beyond sexual aspects. You might also consider talking to a therapist to help process your feelings and gain clarity. Remember, it's okay to take your time figuring out what you want; your feelings are valid.