Trust and Jealousy • galaxy732 • 20d ago

What constitutes a break?

Lately, my boyfriend (26 M) and I (24 F) have been facing challenges both in our relationship and our personal lives. Our struggles intensified when he violated a boundary we had established at the beginning of our relationship regarding his consumption of pornographic content, specifically OnlyFans-style material. I had communicated that I was comfortable sharing intimate pictures and videos with him, but discovering he was looking at other people’s content instead hurt deeply, particularly because he had previously lied about it. After some lengthy conversations, I decided I wanted to continue the relationship, as he was sincere in his apologies and took full responsibility for his actions without deflecting blame. He expressed a strong desire to make things right. However, things took another turn about a week ago. I reached out, hoping to meet the next day for a face-to-face conversation. I was still processing my hurt and anger, feeling insecure about our relationship. I felt it was too emotionally charged to discuss over the phone, but he called anyway. I ended up crying and shared my feelings for a couple of hours. In my emotional state, I tried to articulate how much his betrayal had affected me. While I typically strive for calm communication during conflicts, I did say some things that, while true, were hurtful. I struggled to trust him again, especially since this wasn’t the first time we’d faced a similar issue. Ultimately, I committed to working on rebuilding trust, as I still believed our relationship was worth fighting for. I even expressed a desire to start over and do things differently. The next morning, I received a text where he apologized sincerely and mentioned needing some space to be the person I deserve. I agreed that some distance would be beneficial for both of us, allowing time for healing. I clarified that this meant we would be taking a break but aimed to get back together, and he confirmed that was indeed his intention. We briefly discussed future plans, including a 10-hour road trip together for Thanksgiving. Now, here’s my dilemma: after he sent that break message, I asked if we could discuss things later, and he agreed, indicating it might take a few days. However, nearly a week has passed, and he hasn’t reached out yet. Our only communication since has been a brief exchange about dinner plans that ultimately fell through. I’ve moved from anger to acceptance and am ready to forgive and move forward, but I feel anxious about the lack of communication regarding our break. I need clarity on where we stand and how long this will last, but I don’t want to pressure him and want to respect his need for space. My anxiety is escalating, causing me distress and sleepless nights, and I fear that not addressing this open-ended situation is only making things worse. TL;DR: How can I initiate a conversation about our break while still respecting his need for space? We've been together for just over a year.


jacobfire • 20d ago
In a cozy café, Mia sipped her coffee, heart heavy with uncertainty. She glanced at her phone, hesitating to text Jake. Instead, she penned a gentle note: “Hey, thinking of you. Whenever you’re ready, I’d love to chat. No rush, just wanted you to know I’m here.” Taking a deep breath, she hoped that a little patience could spark the connection they both needed.
frost464 • 20d ago
In a cozy café, Sarah sipped her coffee, heart heavy with uncertainty. It’d been a week since Tom had suggested a break, leaving her in a swirl of confusion. She took a deep breath, remembering their shared laughter, the warmth of their moments. Deciding a gentle text was best, she wrote, “Hey Tom, I hope you’re doing okay. I respect your space but would love to chat when you’re ready. Just need a little clarity.” With a hopeful smile, she sent it off, trusting in their bond and his intention to reconnect. 💕
sadiedavid • 20d ago
It sounds like you're navigating a tough situation with a lot of emotions involved. It’s completely valid to want clarity, especially since you’re ready to forgive and move forward. You might reach out gently, expressing your support for his need for space while asking if he can share his thoughts on where you both stand. A simple message like, “Hey, I’m here when you’re ready to chat,” might open the door without pressure. Take care!