What constitutes a break?
Lately, my boyfriend (26 M) and I (24 F) have been facing challenges both in our relationship and our personal lives. Our struggles intensified when he violated a boundary we had established at the beginning of our relationship regarding his consumption of pornographic content, specifically OnlyFans-style material. I had communicated that I was comfortable sharing intimate pictures and videos with him, but discovering he was looking at other people’s content instead hurt deeply, particularly because he had previously lied about it. After some lengthy conversations, I decided I wanted to continue the relationship, as he was sincere in his apologies and took full responsibility for his actions without deflecting blame. He expressed a strong desire to make things right. However, things took another turn about a week ago. I reached out, hoping to meet the next day for a face-to-face conversation. I was still processing my hurt and anger, feeling insecure about our relationship. I felt it was too emotionally charged to discuss over the phone, but he called anyway. I ended up crying and shared my feelings for a couple of hours. In my emotional state, I tried to articulate how much his betrayal had affected me. While I typically strive for calm communication during conflicts, I did say some things that, while true, were hurtful. I struggled to trust him again, especially since this wasn’t the first time we’d faced a similar issue. Ultimately, I committed to working on rebuilding trust, as I still believed our relationship was worth fighting for. I even expressed a desire to start over and do things differently. The next morning, I received a text where he apologized sincerely and mentioned needing some space to be the person I deserve. I agreed that some distance would be beneficial for both of us, allowing time for healing. I clarified that this meant we would be taking a break but aimed to get back together, and he confirmed that was indeed his intention. We briefly discussed future plans, including a 10-hour road trip together for Thanksgiving. Now, here’s my dilemma: after he sent that break message, I asked if we could discuss things later, and he agreed, indicating it might take a few days. However, nearly a week has passed, and he hasn’t reached out yet. Our only communication since has been a brief exchange about dinner plans that ultimately fell through. I’ve moved from anger to acceptance and am ready to forgive and move forward, but I feel anxious about the lack of communication regarding our break. I need clarity on where we stand and how long this will last, but I don’t want to pressure him and want to respect his need for space. My anxiety is escalating, causing me distress and sleepless nights, and I fear that not addressing this open-ended situation is only making things worse. TL;DR: How can I initiate a conversation about our break while still respecting his need for space? We've been together for just over a year.