I care for my boyfriend, but sometimes I feel like I deserve someone better.

I care deeply for my boyfriend, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m more ambitious and driven than he is. I’m a 22-year-old woman and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend, also 22, for nearly four years. We met online and have been navigating a long-distance relationship, visiting each other about once a month. I know my initial statement might sound harsh, and I feel bad saying it, but I hope you can understand my perspective. We connected in 2020 shortly after finishing high school. I immediately enrolled in a local university to pursue a nursing degree while he opted for a community college to get an associate degree in business. Unfortunately, he didn’t take his studies seriously, and it took him four years to graduate, resulting in us finishing school at the same time but with vastly different career trajectories. Completing nursing school was a significant challenge for me, and it feels like he often downplays the effort I put in. He has made dismissive remarks comparing nursing to being a coffee barista, which is disheartening. Throughout our relationship, I’ve tried to guide him toward potential career paths and have spent countless hours researching options and certifications that could enhance his resume. Regrettably, none of my suggestions have sparked his interest, which is frustrating. On top of that, there's the issue of his job. Throughout our time together, he has only worked at two restaurants. The first was a sports bar where he engaged in problematic behavior, including micro-cheating, which led to a lot of issues between us. When I discovered this, he quit and got a job at an Italian restaurant. There, I became suspicious of a girl he was spending time with, only to find out he had developed feelings for her. After enduring a lot of gaslighting, I uncovered thousands of deleted messages between them. The day I learned of this betrayal was also the day my grandma passed away; it broke me, and I ended up ending the relationship. Despite my heartbreak and grief, I foolishly considered giving him yet another chance. After a month of waiting for him to reach out while he ignored me, I learned he was trying to pursue a relationship with that girl from work, who was already taken. He has since attempted to repair his damaged relationships while still holding onto remnants of our past, which left me feeling confused and conflicted. He eventually came back, begging for a second chance, and despite my hesitations, I took him back. It’s been a few months, and he has significantly improved as a partner. He has taken me on trips, surprised me with gifts, and offers plenty of verbal reassurances to show he values our relationship. However, when we reconciled, I made it clear that my expectations had changed; I need a partner who has ambition and goals. I refused to settle for someone without a direction or plan for the future. Despite my patience, I haven’t seen any progress from him. While he has taken on debt from purchasing a new car, he has no savings or real plans beyond moving in with me and finding another restaurant job. I am juggling my responsibilities as a caregiver for my terminally ill father while building a stable future for myself, complete with a savings plan, health insurance, and a 401k. This isn’t something I flaunt or hold over him, but I can’t ignore the fact that he doesn’t seem to value these things. When I reflect on our situation, I often feel like I’m destined for better things. I genuinely love him, and he has been loyal, which I appreciate. However, his lack of ambition and direction weighs heavily on me. I’m seeking advice on how to navigate these feelings because I’m torn between my love for him and my desire for a more fulfilling future. TL;DR: My boyfriend has cheated on me and lacks ambition or a plan for life. While I love him, I feel like I could do better, and I’m struggling with the pain of potentially leaving him again.