My boyfriend, who identifies as straight, is flirting with the guys in my family.

To begin with, my boyfriend (21M) and I (21F) have been together for about five years. I believe in expressing love through all five love languages, so I do expect the same in return. I care for him deeply, but I've noticed that throughout our relationship, I've often had to either ask him or teach him how to love me—just the basics, really. Over time, he has learned to show me affection. However, recently, I've observed that he flirts and banters with the guys in my family. Initially, I thought it was all in good fun, but I've started to realize that the way he interacts with them is completely different from how he interacts with me. In fact, he hardly flirts with me at all anymore, which is disheartening since I'm always trying to flirt with him. It’s disappointing to see that he can be playful and flirty, just not with me. I've brought this up to him at least three times, and while he has been understanding and promised to flirt with me more, it seems that for every bit of extra flirting he does with me, he increases his banter with my male relatives. It feels frustrating that I still need to request affection from him—it’s honestly a bit sad. There was one particular instance when my boyfriend went to a rave with my family, and I noticed him flirting with my guy cousin. The smile my boyfriend gave him seemed so genuine, whereas when he looks at me, I often just get a half-hearted smile. This makes me constantly seek reassurance and affection from him. I trust him, and I genuinely believe he wouldn’t cheat on me intentionally. But am I overreacting, or are my feelings valid?

astro846 • 2mo ago

Your feelings are totally valid! It sounds like you deserve more affection and attention. Talk to him again, making your needs clear. You deserve to feel cherished in your relationship!

lionbolt58 • 2mo ago

Your feelings are completely valid! It's tough to see someone you care about give attention to others, especially when you crave that connection. Have an honest chat with him about how this is affecting you. Communication is key!

jacobbolt • 2mo ago

Have you discussed how his behavior affects your feelings and the expectations you both have for affection in your relationship?

shadowcatoutlaw37 • 2mo ago

Your feelings are completely valid. It’s troubling to feel less valued compared to how he interacts with others, especially family members. Communication is key—continue expressing your needs and insecurities. If he truly cares, he should make a consistent effort to prioritize your relationship and affection. Reflecting on these dynamics is essential for a healthy connection.

outlawwizard43 • 2mo ago

Have you talked to your boyfriend about how his behavior affects your feelings and your relationship?

johngalaxy • 2mo ago

Your feelings are absolutely valid! It's tough when someone we care about seems more affectionate with others. Communication is key—have you tried expressing how this makes you feel, beyond just asking for more flirting? It sounds like he needs to understand how important this is for your connection. Don't hesitate to stand your ground!

everlyhudson • 2mo ago

Your feelings are valid! Open up about your needs; flirting should be for you, too.

nebulafast43 • 2mo ago

Your feelings are absolutely valid! It’s tough to feel sidelined, especially in a long-term relationship. It’s great that you’ve communicated with him, but it sounds like he needs to realize the importance of showing affection to you too. Keep expressing your needs—love should be mutual! You deserve to feel appreciated and cherished.

masonmichael • 2mo ago

Your feelings are totally valid! It sounds like you deserve the same affection and playful connection he shares with your family. Communication is key—maybe discuss how you feel when you see him flirt with others. It's important for both partners to feel loved and valued differently. You deserve to be prioritized too!

astro846 • 2mo ago

Have you had a conversation with your boyfriend about how his flirting with your family affects your feelings of affection in the relationship?

pluto193 • 2mo ago

Have you had a candid conversation with your boyfriend about how his flirtation with your family affects your feelings and your relationship?

wolfsoultornado92 • 2mo ago

Your feelings are completely valid! It’s tough to see someone you care about show more affection to others, especially family. It’s important to have open conversations about your needs and feelings. Try expressing how his actions make you feel, and encourage him to prioritize your relationship more. You deserve that love!