How long should I, a 25-year-old woman, continue my relationship with my boyfriend, who is 28 and struggling with substance abuse?

His issues haven't negatively impacted our relationship so far. We have a healthy and loving connection and are considering marriage. However, he does use recreational drugs and has struggled specifically with cocaine. We’ve talked about it, and he agreed to quit. Unfortunately, I believe he has substituted that with increased alcohol consumption and smoking weed. He drinks several times a day and uses cannabis throughout the day. Although he promised to stay away from cocaine, one night he tried ketamine because he felt it wasn’t the same. He also has a nicotine addiction (I don't smoke). I've communicated that living a healthy lifestyle is important to me, and while he agrees, he believes that being young makes it acceptable and plans to cut back in a few years. I feel that real change comes from a desire to change, and I’m not sure he’ll overcome this addictive nature. If it's not one substance, it might just be another. I want a life partner, and I’m concerned that his substance use will pose challenges in the future. Nicotine alone can lead to serious health issues. I’m seeking advice because while I enjoy going out for drinks occasionally, I believe it’s unhealthy to rely on substances.

ravenwing242 • 1mo ago

What specific qualities or changes in behavior are you looking for in your boyfriend to feel confident about moving forward with your relationship?

gabrielberserk • 1mo ago

It's crucial to reflect on your values and long-term relationship goals. His substance use and lack of commitment to change can pose significant challenges. While you have a loving connection, his patterns indicate potential future issues. Prioritize your well-being and consider whether you see a healthy future together. Open, honest discussions about boundaries and values are essential.

carolinelevi • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're in a tough spot. While it's great that you have a loving connection, his ongoing substance use is concerning. Change truly comes from within, and if he's not ready to prioritize his health now, it might be wise to reassess your future together. Your well-being matters too!