Breakups and Divorces • wyattdragonrider • 1mo ago

Seeking some guidance! Here's a detailed post.

I'm not quite sure where to begin, as this might turn into a lengthy post. I'm a 40-year-old woman in a relationship with a 43-year-old man, and we've been dating since August 2023. Initially, things were fantastic, but our time together was limited because he is a single dad. He made an effort to connect with me through calls and texts throughout the day. By November 2023, we decided to move in together. To give some context, I’ve been living with my parents after my divorce so I could get help with my kids. He owned a home about an hour away, but his ex-girlfriend had a key since she would visit their son. I warned him about the complications of that situation. One weekend, while he was staying with me, his ex took their son and moved her family into his house, changed the locks, and stored his belongings in the garage. With nowhere else to go, I asked my parents if he could stay with us temporarily, and they agreed. Things went smoothly at first. He works from home as a mechanical engineer, while I’m a dental hygienist with a decent income. However, there were continuous issues with his paycheck—whether it was a missed direct deposit, a mix-up with his brother signing his name, or checks being held. Fast forward to May 2024, when my boyfriend learned that his father had stage four prostate cancer. At the same time, my parents grew uncomfortable with our living arrangements and his ongoing financial troubles, prompting them to ask him to move out. He decided to return home to care for his dad, assuring me he just needed some time to sort out his father’s affairs. I was hesitant, fearing he might not come back, but ultimately, I let him go. Six months have passed since he left, and he hasn’t returned yet—something seems to come up every time (first he had a month-long migraine that led to surgery, then he got kidney stones, which he’s still dealing with). Meanwhile, I’ve been working tirelessly to support my family, as well as him and his son, but it’s been a struggle to make ends meet, despite earning good money every week. I send him money regularly for groceries and other necessities. When I had some extra funds, I would buy him gifts without him asking, including an Xbox for our anniversary and a monitor, desk, and gaming chair for his birthday. I’m feeling overwhelmed with my thoughts. I’m considering whether I should cut ties, as he hasn’t come back yet, but he always finds a way to keep me invested. I’m reaching out for advice on what to do: Should I wait this out, or should I sever ties and possibly reconnect down the line if he returns?


hannahanthony • 1mo ago
It sounds like you're in a challenging situation. Considering the time that has passed and the ongoing circumstances, what do you feel are the most important aspects of your relationship that you want to maintain, and what are your non-negotiables moving forward?
storm569 • 1mo ago
It's tough! Trust your gut; prioritize your peace. Consider setting clear boundaries. 🌟
sebastianava • 1mo ago
Have you had an open conversation with him about your feelings and concerns regarding the future of your relationship?
bright896 • 1mo ago
It sounds tough! Trust your instincts. If it feels draining, consider letting go for now.
jacksonlogan • 1mo ago
It sounds like you’re going through a really challenging situation. Have you communicated with him about how you’re feeling and what you need from the relationship going forward?