Age Differences • wraith148 • 7d ago

'55M' and '27F'—she's breaking up with him. Would you do the same?

Here's a revised version of your text: "I'm significantly younger than him; he’s 55 and I’m 27. His health isn’t great, and I find myself contemplating moving on because he feels more like a father figure than a romantic partner. I got caught up in a relationship filled with lies and omissions, and as time has gone by, he seems to be falling apart. I’ve tried to be supportive, especially since life has thrown him some tough challenges, but it’s been exhausting to watch him struggle. He has no real support system, primarily because he has deceived the friends who once stood by him, and they ultimately abandoned him when his life spiraled out of control. He still keeps his struggles hidden from them and only confides in me. I’m at my wit's end playing the role of a pseudo-counselor, the listening ear, and the caretaker for someone I don’t love, respect, or admire. He doesn’t treat me with the care and respect I deserve. I’ve made room for him in my life out of pity, but my feelings for him aren't romantic. For me, genuine love is essential to build a home and family—I want children, and I’m in a fortunate position to conceive whenever I choose. However, he isn’t interested in a physical relationship, and honestly, neither am I. Part of my disinterest is due to his age and frail demeanor. He often struggles to engage with my excitement and enthusiasm for new things, frequently resorting to negativity. It seems he believes this will somehow keep me in check, but it only heightens my focus on my own goals, family, and aspirations. He’s clearly uncomfortable knowing I’ve seen his lows and may think I see him differently because of it. If I leave him to his own devices, he’ll likely fall apart emotionally due to his isolative tendencies. I don’t want to have to guide him; I desire to be led by a strong, spirited man who embodies traditional values—someone who can truly support me in all aspects of life. I dislike feeling like a daughter in this relationship; that's not what I want or need. I seek a partner, a best friend to share life's journey with, creating memorable experiences and navigating life together. In short: she’s a younger woman wanting to live fully and have children; he’s an older man who is choosing to retreat into himself. He expects her to be a domestic servant, while she feels pity and indulges him. He’s intentionally unhappy, and she chooses happiness, but he creates a dark shadow in her life. She desires a strong partner, someone who can lead and share passion with her, while he remains content but unengaging. She's made her needs clear, but he’s simply unable to meet them. What options does she have? Thank you to everyone who contributed to the discussion. I deeply resonate with all your insights. I wrote this during a personal crisis about my next steps. With the end of the year approaching and a new one on the horizon, it feels like the right time to let go of the past and embrace new beginnings."


mystic582 • 7d ago
It sounds like a painful situation. She deserves a partner who shares her goals and enthusiasm for life. Staying out of pity isn’t sustainable; it stifles her happiness and future. If he can’t provide the mutual support and connection she seeks, breaking up is a valid step towards finding someone who can truly meet her needs.