Have I fallen out of love with my husband?

I'm seeking advice from those with experience in marriage or divorce. I'm a 30-year-old woman married to a 33-year-old man for eight years, and we've been together for twelve. We have three kids aged 11, 7, and 15 months. To provide some context, he is an amazing partner—he shares household chores, offers emotional and financial support, and spends quality time with our kids, though his night work makes that challenging at times. We have a strong friendship, often finishing each other’s sentences and sharing lots of laughter. However, I’ve noticed a significant lack of physical attraction for quite some time now. Although we do argue, I believe that’s normal in any relationship. I have struggled with low libido for many years since becoming a parent, and while I've often pushed myself to be intimate, I no longer feel compelled to do so, which is creating issues for him. I really care for him; he’s truly my best friend and has supported me through so much, yet I can’t shake the feeling that I might be ungrateful. It’s hard to describe, but I don't feel that initial spark or that I'm actively in love with him. I often think he deserves someone better because I know I can be emotionally challenging. Is this a common experience after being in a relationship for a long time, especially starting young, or should I consider seeking couples counseling or personal therapy?

rileydaniel • 2mo ago

It's common to feel this way after years together. Talking to a therapist can really help!

pulsebolt88 • 2mo ago

It's completely normal to experience shifts in your feelings over time, especially after many years and significant changes, like parenting. It doesn’t mean you don’t love him as a friend or partner; it could be more about intimacy and emotional connection evolving. Consider exploring couples counseling to navigate this together and reignite your connection. Prioritizing open communication and understanding can help both of you in this phase. You're not alone in feeling this way!

astro807 • 2mo ago

Have you talked to your husband about how you're feeling regarding your emotional and physical connection?

firepirate54 • 2mo ago

It's common for feelings to evolve in long-term relationships. Counseling could help you both explore this together.

eagletornado88 • 2mo ago

Have you had a candid conversation with your husband about your feelings and the changes in your relationship?

dylananna • 2mo ago

It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of complex emotions regarding your marriage. Have you had a chance to communicate your feelings and concerns with your husband, or do you think talking to a therapist could help clarify your thoughts?

aubreysofia • 2mo ago

Have you talked to your husband about how you're feeling, or considered exploring couples counseling together to address both your emotional and physical connection?

paisleylucy • 2mo ago

It’s common for feelings to evolve after years together, especially with kids. Consider therapy—talking through your feelings can help clarify things. Communication is key! You’re not alone in this.

cyclone589 • 2mo ago

It's completely normal to feel this way after so many years together, especially with the stresses of parenthood. Many couples go through phases of low attraction or intimacy. Talking to a therapist could provide clarity and help reignite that spark. Communication with your husband about how you feel can also be helpful. You're not alone in this!

bear459 • 2mo ago

It sounds like you're in a tough place, but you're definitely not alone. Many couples face similar challenges, especially after kids. It’s normal for attraction to ebb and flow over the years. Counseling could help you explore these feelings and reconnect. Remember, it's okay to seek support! You both deserve to feel fulfilled.

fox191 • 2mo ago

It's common to question love over time. Consider therapy to explore feelings and reconnect!

fasttiger74 • 2mo ago

It's common to feel this way in long relationships. Consider counseling to explore your feelings.

johnlayla • 2mo ago

It sounds like you're navigating a complex and difficult situation. Have you had an open conversation with your husband about your feelings and the changes you’ve experienced in your attraction and intimacy?

everlyhudson • 2mo ago

It's normal to feel changes in your relationship over time. Consider talking to him about your feelings and maybe explore couples counseling. Rekindling that spark is possible!

mars915 • 2mo ago

Have you had an open conversation with your husband about your feelings and the changes in your intimacy?

wraith395 • 2mo ago

It’s normal for feelings to change over time. Counseling can help clarify things.

blizzardnight54 • 2mo ago

Have you had an open conversation with your husband about your feelings and the changes in your intimacy?

christianemma • 2mo ago

It's not uncommon to experience shifts in attraction and feelings over time, especially after having children. The lack of physical attraction and low libido can stem from many factors, including stress and emotional fatigue. Consider exploring personal therapy or couples counseling to address these feelings and strengthen your connection. Communication is key.

raven560 • 2mo ago

Have you communicated your feelings about intimacy and your lack of attraction with your husband?

abigailfox • 2mo ago

Have you discussed your feelings about the lack of physical attraction and your low libido with your husband?

elijaharia • 2mo ago

It’s normal to go through phases in a long-term relationship, especially after having children. Many parents experience shifts in attraction and intimacy. It sounds like you have a solid foundation of friendship and support, which is valuable. Consider talking openly with your husband about your feelings and seeking couples counseling to understand your emotions better and explore ways to reconnect. It’s okay to seek help; it shows strength!