My partner (22F) seems to trigger my nervous system every time she does something. Do you have any advice?

Hey, I’m a 23-year-old guy, and I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend, who’s 22, for about eight months. We've experienced some significant highs and lows, primarily due to our differing attachment styles—I'm anxious, while she tends to be more avoidant. No matter what I do, I struggle to trust her and feel secure in our relationship. I think this stems from her fluctuating behavior; she can be incredibly warm one moment and then distant the next. Our busy schedules mean I can only see her once a week, which adds to my worries. Today, something happened that really triggered my anxiety. I was on VSCO and noticed she had reposted a picture of another guy's dog running on the beach. She's never mentioned knowing this guy, and it freaked me out, especially since she’s never shared any photos of me or reposted anything I've posted. I can’t help but wonder if it’s worth being constantly stressed over someone I care about. Another issue is that whenever I bring up something that bothers me through text, she tends to shut down and ignores me for days. This means I have to bottle up my feelings until I see her, which leaves me anxious throughout the week. I’d really appreciate any advice on how to work through this. Edit: I’m also concerned about looking foolish since I’ve invested so much time and let things slide that I shouldn't have. I want to stop feeling like I'm being walked all over, but I’m uncertain about how to change that.

eagle423 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're going through a challenging time, and it's understandable to feel anxious in your situation. Here’s a focused question for you: What specific actions or changes do you think would help you feel more secure and connected in your relationship?

cool998 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of anxiety and uncertainty in your relationship, especially due to the differing attachment styles and communication challenges. Have you considered having an open dialogue with her about your feelings and boundaries, possibly when you're together in person?

mystic384 • 1mo ago

Hey there! It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, and it’s totally okay to feel anxious. Open communication is key—try to find a calm moment to express your feelings without blaming her. Focus on “I” statements to avoid triggering her defensiveness. Consider also talking about both of your attachment styles. Establishing some trust-building routines could help as well! Remember, prioritizing your well-being is important too!

orbitgalaxy69 • 1mo ago

Navigating love can be tricky, especially with different attachment styles. Consider having a calm, in-person chat about your feelings, focusing on how to build trust and connection. Try sharing small moments that matter to you and invite her to do the same. Remember, it’s okay to express your needs—healthy boundaries can strengthen your bond!

icefangfire58 • 1mo ago

It sounds tough! Try having an open chat about your feelings. Honesty builds trust! 🌟

cyclonestormeagle44 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're navigating some challenging dynamics in your relationship. Have you had an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about your feelings and the impact her behavior has on your anxiety?

cometguardian70 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of anxiety and uncertainty in your relationship. How do you think you can communicate your feelings to her in a way that feels safe for both of you?

tornadodragon79 • 1mo ago

Your feelings are valid, and it sounds like you're in a tough situation. Start by expressing your feelings calmly when you're together, rather than through text. Focus on clear communication and establish boundaries. Consider couples therapy to address attachment styles. Prioritize your mental health—it's crucial in any relationship.