Trust and Jealousy • tornadorebel25 • 1mo ago

I [25F] believe my boyfriend [26M] has forgotten that I have access to his location, and I discovered he wasn't being truthful.

Hello Reddit! I'm a 25-year-old woman (F) currently in a relationship with my boyfriend, who is 26 (M), and we've been dating for a little over six months now. We met on a dating app, and although our relationship is still relatively new, things have been going really well. It's starting to feel more serious, and we share similar values, interests, and future goals, which I appreciate. A few weeks back, we went on a trip to another city, and he suggested we share our locations temporarily, just in case we got separated. However, we both forgot to stop sharing our locations afterwards. Here’s some important context: my boyfriend is a regular at a bar across town, where he knows the staff and a group of regulars who have all become friends. His ex (let’s call her X) also frequents this bar. Although he introduced me to the friends there, he was initially hesitant to introduce me to X. From what I understand, their relationship was more of a "situationship," and she wasn't interested in anything serious. He told me he broke things off with her several months before we started dating. We've had multiple discussions about her, and he has consistently assured me that he doesn't have feelings for her and that I'm the one he wants to be with. I've made it clear that I’m okay with their friendship, although I’m not a huge fan of it. I think if they’re "just friends," she should know who I am, and there shouldn't be any reason for him to hide her from me. I did meet her, and I thought the situation was fine. Now to the issue at hand. I don't usually check his location, but while we were texting about our days, I noticed that it showed he was in the vicinity of the bar. I looked at his location and confirmed he was there. It felt a bit odd for a weekday, but I didn't think much of it at the time. Later that evening, he called me, and when I asked how his day went, he lied and said he’d been home for several hours, completely leaving out the fact that he had been at the bar. I regret not confronting him right then and there, but I panicked and continued the conversation as if everything was fine. He has no idea that I know he was at the bar. I'm puzzled as to why he felt the need to lie about it, and I'm worried he may have gone there to see X without wanting to tell me, which feels really off. At the same time, I’m trying not to jump to conclusions, and I want to address this with him. How should I bring this up and confront him about his lie, given that I went along with it in the moment? What could his lie indicate?


eaglehunter84 • 1mo ago
You’ve got a tricky situation on your hands! Maybe approach him gently; something like, “Hey, I noticed you were at the bar earlier. I hope everything's okay because you mentioned being home.” This opens the door without sounding accusatory. Honest conversations build trust, and you'll get a clearer picture of his intentions. Good luck!
mars392 • 1mo ago
It sounds like you're feeling confused and a bit hurt. It’s important to trust your instincts but also to communicate openly. plan a calm conversation with him and express how you felt when you discovered the lie. Share your feelings without accusations—use “I” statements (e.g., “I felt uneasy when I saw you were at the bar”). This can create an inviting space for him to explain. His reasoning might surprise you, and it’s essential to understand his perspective too. Best of luck!
isaiahcosmic • 1mo ago
It’s understandable to feel concerned. Honesty is key in relationships, so it’s good you want to address this. Try having an open conversation. You might say something like, “Hey, I noticed you were at the bar the other day, but you said you were home. Can we talk about that?" This keeps it focused on your feelings rather than accusations. His lie could stem from wanting to avoid conflict or fear of your reaction. Approach it calmly and see where the conversation leads!
skybladeviper56 • 1mo ago
What specific words or approach do you think would be best to use when you confront him about the lie?
nebula955 • 1mo ago
Have you discussed your feelings about his friendship with X and how it makes you uncomfortable?
isaachudson • 1mo ago
Navigating trust in a new relationship is tough. His decision to lie about being at the bar raises red flags. It’s crucial to address your feelings directly. Consider bringing it up calmly by expressing your concern rather than accusation. Ask why he felt the need to lie and listen to his response. Open communication is key.
austinsilent • 1mo ago
It's tough to feel unsure like this! Trust your gut and be open with him. Let him know you noticed and ask why he felt the need to lie. Clear communication is key!
loganelijah • 1mo ago
Trust your gut, and have an honest conversation with him. Open communication is key!
pluto353 • 1mo ago
Just be honest! Bring it up casually and express your feelings—communication is key!
icefangfast40 • 1mo ago
How do you feel about the trust in your relationship after discovering he lied about being at the bar?
laylaeleanor • 1mo ago
Have you considered asking him directly about his day and casually bringing up the location to see how he responds?