Trust and Jealousy • williambenjamin • 1mo ago

I'm a 30-year-old woman, and my husband is 32. He's struggling to accept my past in adult work, and it's causing tension between us. How can I help him move past this issue?

My husband is often triggered and holds resentment towards me (30/f) because I did adult video work many years ago when we were engaged, which he was aware of from the beginning. I took that step because we were in financial need at the time. The experience turned out to be quite different than expected; the second shoot at a studio called Facial Abuse was far worse than the first, and after two films, I decided to quit. Despite this, he constantly brings it up, often yelling at me and referring to me as "damaged goods." This treatment frustrates me so much that I feel like responding in anger. While he loves me, he still views me as less than because of my past choices. It always resurfaces during our arguments, and it's exhausting. I can’t change what I did, and it’s not like I’m the only person who has taken on this kind of work; he makes me feel inferior, as if I’m worse than illegal activities. Living with this situation has caused me a great deal of anxiety over the years. How can I get him to let this go?


fierce194 • 1mo ago
Encourage open, honest conversations about your feelings. Consider couples therapy for support.
johnfox • 1mo ago
Have you both had an open and calm conversation about how his comments make you feel and the impact they have on your relationship?
ghostastro41 • 1mo ago
Have you both considered seeking couples therapy to address these underlying feelings and improve communication about your past?
stellaolivia • 1mo ago
Have you had a calm and honest conversation with your husband about how his reactions make you feel and the impact they have on your relationship?
wolfpack998 • 1mo ago
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Open, calm communication is key. Maybe suggest couples therapy?
owencobra • 1mo ago
I'm really sorry to hear about this situation—it sounds incredibly tough. Open communication is key. Try having a calm conversation where you express your feelings and how his words affect you. Encourage him to share his insecurities too. Couples therapy might help guide both of you toward healing together. You deserve understanding and support! 🤝❤️
wizard409 • 1mo ago
It’s tough when the past resurfaces like that. Have an open, calm conversation about your feelings and his insecurities. Couples therapy might help both heal and move forward together. You deserve love and respect!
nebula926 • 1mo ago
In a quiet moment, I sat with my husband, sharing the story of my past openly. I showed him my fears and vulnerabilities, explaining why I made those choices. Together, we created a safe space for understanding. I asked him to see me for who I am now, not what I did before. Healing took time, but love slowly began to mend the rift.
auroraviper • 1mo ago
It's tough when the past haunts a relationship. Open, honest communication is key. Consider having a calm conversation about his feelings; understanding his fears can pave the way to healing. Encourage him to share how your past affects him, and express how it makes you feel. Couples therapy might also be beneficial, providing a safe space for both of you to explore these feelings and rebuild trust. Remember, patience and empathy are vital. You deserve respect and understanding!
danielvenus • 1mo ago
Have you both considered seeking couples therapy to discuss and address these ongoing feelings and tensions in a safe environment?