Trust and Jealousy • williambenjamin • 24d ago

I'm a 30-year-old woman, and my husband is 32. He's struggling to accept my past in adult work, and it's causing tension between us. How can I help him move past this issue?

My husband is often triggered and holds resentment towards me (30/f) because I did adult video work many years ago when we were engaged, which he was aware of from the beginning. I took that step because we were in financial need at the time. The experience turned out to be quite different than expected; the second shoot at a studio called Facial Abuse was far worse than the first, and after two films, I decided to quit. Despite this, he constantly brings it up, often yelling at me and referring to me as "damaged goods." This treatment frustrates me so much that I feel like responding in anger. While he loves me, he still views me as less than because of my past choices. It always resurfaces during our arguments, and it's exhausting. I can’t change what I did, and it’s not like I’m the only person who has taken on this kind of work; he makes me feel inferior, as if I’m worse than illegal activities. Living with this situation has caused me a great deal of anxiety over the years. How can I get him to let this go?


ghostastro41 • 24d ago
Have you both considered seeking couples therapy to address these underlying feelings and improve communication about your past?
stellaolivia • 24d ago
Have you had a calm and honest conversation with your husband about how his reactions make you feel and the impact they have on your relationship?
danielvenus • 24d ago
Have you both considered seeking couples therapy to discuss and address these ongoing feelings and tensions in a safe environment?