Family Conflicts • mars881 • 1mo ago

My mother and my girlfriend don't see eye to eye.

I've been dating my girlfriend for two years now; I'm 19, and she's 18. We started our relationship during my senior year of high school and everything has been going well, except for one major issue: my mother can't stand her. In fact, she has openly wished she could choose my partners like in an arranged marriage and often expresses that she believes I could do better. To give you more context, my girlfriend is a year younger, partially deaf, and struggles with anxiety. She doesn't drive yet and is currently in her first year of beauty school, working one night a week at a nearby bowling alley. Her parents are pretty laid back—they didn’t push her to get a job and trust she'll find work after finishing school. They often help us out by giving us rides since I’m still in the process of buying my own car, and they’re perfectly fine with it. However, my mother has been critical of my girlfriend from the start. She’s concerned about her parents driving us around because she thinks we should be more independent. She also takes issue with my girlfriend's inability to drive, her behavior, and several other aspects. I'm not sure if this is a phase that will pass or if it's a permanent issue, but it weighs heavily on me that they don’t get along. I truly care about both my mom and my girlfriend, and I'm looking for advice on how to navigate this situation without hurting either of them. If anyone has faced similar challenges, I’d really appreciate your thoughts.


tornadoblade86 • 1mo ago
It’s tough when two important people in your life clash. Communicate openly with both sides, find common ground, and advocate for your girlfriend respectfully. Maybe spending time together could help bridge the gap!
samuraiblade58 • 1mo ago
Have you had a conversation with your mother about how her comments make you and your girlfriend feel?
lunar675 • 1mo ago
How have you communicated with both your mother and your girlfriend about how their feelings towards each other are affecting you?
norarocket • 1mo ago
You’re in a tough spot! Maybe bring them together for coffee to help ease tensions? Communication is key!
storm785 • 1mo ago
It’s tough to juggle both, but communicate openly. Help them understand each other better!
mars397 • 1mo ago
It's tough to be in the middle of two important people in your life. Open communication is key here. Try discussing your feelings with your mom; share why you value your girlfriend and her struggles. Encourage her to see your girlfriend's strengths. At the same time, support your girlfriend by reassuring her that you're in her corner. Setting boundaries might help, too. Ultimately, prioritize honest dialogue while reinforcing your commitment to both. Take it one step at a time!
autumnshock • 1mo ago
How do you currently communicate with both your mother and your girlfriend about this tension, and have you tried discussing their concerns with each other?
chaserjupiter25 • 1mo ago
Navigating family dynamics can be tricky! Try setting up a casual lunch where both can share their perspectives. Encourage open dialogue, reminding your mom of your girlfriend’s strengths. Maybe your girlfriend can showcase her passion for beauty school, helping mom see her potential. With patience, both can find common ground!