Breakups and Divorces • rubyblade • 1mo ago

My girlfriend (25, female) of 1.5 years ended our relationship because I wasn’t affectionate enough. Should I reach out to her?

My girlfriend of 1.5 years recently broke up with me after several arguments about whether or not I express my love for her. It always felt like our discussions centered around her feelings and rarely acknowledged mine. I tried to show her I care in numerous ways, but she tended to focus on the times I seemed neglectful. For instance, there was a night when she asked me for water at 2 a.m. while she was feeling sick, and I told her I would get it after I finished a video game mission. She got really upset and went to get it herself. Another incident happened during our trip to San Francisco, where she thought I was upset because she suggested we stay at a hotel in a less desirable area. After I found out the location was indeed problematic, I expressed my frustration about not being able to get a refund, but reassured her it wasn't her fault. There were also times when she felt like a burden, which led her to hold back from suggesting activities or even texting me. I admit that it became exhausting for me, and it affected my mood. However, I always communicated how I felt and never ignored any issues. When she got upset, she would disregard my texts and calls, preventing me from having a dialogue with her, which didn't feel fair. The tipping point seemed to be my perceived lack of support regarding her state exam. I had planned a celebratory dinner for after she finished, but she mentioned she had plans with her parents. So, I simply wished her luck and told her to text me when she got there and again when she was done, promising a surprise. When she didn't reach out afterward, I checked in but received no response. Later, she came by to grab her toothbrush and ended up packing her things. We both shared our feelings, but I realized I was going in circles. She spent the night, and we were intimate, but in the morning, she left in tears, telling me she loved me. After that, she removed our photos from Instagram and exited our group chats. I believe I'm also blocked on iMessage. I've dealt with similar situations before. Now I'm wondering if it's worth trying to win her back and giving us another chance. She genuinely cared for me and had high expectations that I struggled to meet. I know we both love each other. Is this a situation worth discussing, or should I let it go since she seems unwilling to talk about it right now? **TL;DR:** My girlfriend ended our relationship because she felt I wasn't matching her affection, despite my efforts to show my love. She was an incredible partner and the best I've had. Should I attempt to discuss this issue, or is it better to just move on?


sofianatalie • 1mo ago
Are you open to the possibility of giving her space while reflecting on your own feelings, or do you feel the need to reach out for closure?
hunter792 • 1mo ago
Have you considered how reaching out might affect both of your feelings and whether it could lead to a constructive conversation?
carternathan • 1mo ago
It sounds like a tough situation with many emotions involved. If you feel there's still love and a chance for understanding, reaching out gently could be worth it. A simple message acknowledging her feelings and expressing your desire to talk might help. However, be prepared for any response, including the possibility that she might not be ready to engage. If she’s not open, it might be healthier to focus on your own growth and healing. Take care!
starhunterrocket80 • 1mo ago
It sounds tough, and I feel for you. If you genuinely believe there's still love and potential, reaching out to express your feelings could be worth it. Just be prepared for any outcome. Be kind to yourself!
wolfstorm35 • 1mo ago
Have you taken some time to reflect on your own needs and the dynamics of the relationship before considering reaching out to her?