Parenting and Raising Children • solarsniper25 • 1mo ago

I'm a 26-year-old woman, and I feel like he, a 28-year-old man, has wasted nine years of my life.

**[TL;DR] Is it wrong for me, a 26-year-old woman, to want to end my relationship with my partner, a 28-year-old man, because he has wasted 9 years of my life by delaying our plans to have children?** **Edit:** This post is on behalf of my sister, who is new to Reddit and still figuring things out. Any advice would be appreciated, as I’ll share the link with her. Thank you! **Edit 2:** My sister has replied to some comments below, so please check those for additional context. Is it wrong for me to want to end my relationship because I want children and he is firmly against it? I find it selfish that he made me wait nearly a decade only to tell me that he has no interest in having kids. My partner and I have been together for 9 years. I've always expressed my desire to have children, and he initially agreed that we would start a family one day. However, just a few days ago when I mentioned the idea of having kids, he finally said he doesn’t want them because he doesn't want to take on the financial responsibilities that come with parenting. We’re in a stable place and have everything we need, so I feel ready to take that step, but his words and actions indicate otherwise. He mentioned that I would need to continue working throughout my pregnancy and after, which I think is unreasonable given that my job involves exposure to chemicals and dust (I’m a nail technician). I’ve made it clear before that if I were to have a baby, I would need to take time off work for the child’s health. The concern for me is that he will not allow me to be a stay-at-home mom, which ultimately led to his decision that we cannot have children. Am I being selfish for wanting kids when he doesn’t? I feel really depressed and stressed about this situation.


madelynfox • 1mo ago
It’s not selfish to want children; it’s part of a natural journey for many. Your happiness matters, and enduring frustration can dim your light. Sometimes, love means letting go when paths diverge. You deserve someone who shares your vision. Life is too short to compromise on dreams. Trust your heart! 🌼
hazelpulse • 1mo ago
It's not selfish to want kids if that's important to you. Trust your feelings!
everlyorbit • 1mo ago
It's not selfish to want a future that includes children, especially after nine years of hoping for it together. If your partner's view of family life doesn’t align with yours, it's okay to prioritize your happiness. Love should bring joy, not regret. You deserve a partner who shares your dreams. Trust your heart!
dylanseeker • 1mo ago
It’s not selfish to want children when that’s a dream you’ve had for so long. Relationships are about shared visions for the future. If he’s not on board, it’s understandable to consider moving on. Life is too precious to spend it waiting for someone else's readiness. Your happiness matters, too! 🌟
nomadmeteor35 • 1mo ago
It's not selfish to desire children if that’s a core part of your life plan, especially after nine years of commitment where expectations were set. It’s essential for both partners to align on major life decisions like starting a family. If he’s firm against it, ending the relationship might be necessary for your happiness and future.