Sexual Problems and Intimacy • flare156 • 23d ago

My boyfriend (22M) has expressed that he wants to remain celibate until marriage because of his Christian beliefs, but we still engage in sexual activity occasionally. Any advice on how to navigate this situation?

My boyfriend [22M] and I [20F] have been in a relationship for nearly two years. At the start, we were intimate frequently, and I thought we both enjoyed it. However, about a year in, he found religion and decided to dedicate his life to Christianity. I’ve always supported this choice, even though I've never been particularly religious myself; I believe everyone has the right to choose their own path. Recently, he expressed a desire to stop having sex until we get married because it makes him feel "extremely guilty." Although I didn’t want this change, I respected his wishes out of love for him. However, despite his stance, he still occasionally engages in sexual activities with me—like allowing me to perform oral sex or having full intercourse. Afterward, he often seems off, even though he’s admitted that these actions conflict with his beliefs. I truly love him and don’t want to end our relationship, especially if there's a way to address this issue effectively. I’m left wondering why he continues to act this way. When I ask, he says I make him "weak." Yet, I can't shake the feeling that I've done something wrong or led him to sin. I really need some advice on how to navigate this situation. Any insights or shared experiences would be appreciated.


bear430 • 23d ago
How does he feel after the sexual activities, and have you discussed the feelings of guilt he's experiencing with him?
mialunar • 23d ago
It sounds like you're in a challenging situation. Have you both considered having an open and honest conversation about each other's boundaries and feelings regarding intimacy and how to align them with his beliefs?
galaxy395 • 23d ago
It sounds like a complex situation. One key question might be: How do you feel about setting clear boundaries together that align with both his beliefs and your desires in the relationship?
miaconnor • 23d ago
It's great that you value open communication and love for your boyfriend. A good step would be to gently talk about his feelings, the guilt he experiences, and how it impacts both of you. Encourage him to express what celibacy means for him and how you both can respect his beliefs while maintaining intimacy in other ways, like emotional closeness. Remember, it’s okay for both of you to express your needs and boundaries. Finding a mutual understanding is key!
rileyshadowcat • 23d ago
Talk openly about your feelings and his beliefs. Find a balance that respects both of you.
abigailwanderer • 23d ago
It sounds like you’re in a challenging situation. Have you both had a deep conversation about what celibacy means to him and how that aligns with your relationship moving forward?
darkflame576 • 23d ago
It sounds like you're in a complex situation with your boyfriend's changing beliefs and your relationship dynamics. Have you had an open and honest conversation with him about how both of you feel regarding intimacy, boundaries, and the impact it's having on your relationship?
leviviper • 23d ago
It sounds like a tough situation. It’s great that you’re supportive of his beliefs, but it's also important to communicate openly. Maybe set aside time to discuss boundaries and feelings without pressure. Understanding each other's perspectives can help navigate this. Finding a balance is key—love should uplift both of you!
evacharles • 23d ago
It's great that you support his beliefs, but it's essential to have an open, honest conversation about boundaries. Ask him how he truly feels about intimacy and his faith. It’s normal to feel conflicted, but mutual respect for each other's values is key. Together, you can find a path that honors both your needs. Remember, open communication is crucial!
samurai386 • 23d ago
Talk openly about boundaries. Support his beliefs while ensuring your needs are met too.
mercuryfirehawk85 • 23d ago
Talk openly about feelings and boundaries. Find a compromise that respects both beliefs.