Relationship advices: Sexual Problems and Intimacy

How to gain certainty

I've been in a long-distance relationship with my partner for four years now. He’s living with friends about two and a half hours away, while I’m at home with my parents. I struggle with severe mental health issues and autism, which has affected my sex drive lately—I find myself lacking interest, while he seems to want it more than I can handle. When he visits, he tends to be quite insistent about sex, despite me communicating my struggles. This pressure creates a lot of anxiety around sexual activity, and we often end up fighting instead of enjoying our time together. I truly love him, but it feels like we’re both wanting aspects of each other that aren't attainable. I’m at a crossroads, uncertain whether this relationship is what I truly want or if I’m genuinely happy. I enjoy our time together when he’s not bringing up sex, but that happiness quickly turns into conflict. I’m dreading the thought of breaking up, yet I feel so confused. How do I determine the right path forward?

My girlfriend is really testing my patience! There's a lack of respect and intimacy.

Hi everyone, Over the past year, my girlfriend (25F) and I (27M) have barely been intimate. It all began with her dealing with family stress, then work-related pressures, and eventually our relationship dynamic deteriorated. It’s been frustrating for me as well, especially since our romance has taken a backseat. Recently, we've entered into a long-distance situation, and when I visited her after four weeks apart, she explained that her focus needs to be on her new job and her life in her town, stating she's just not in the mood for intimacy. During my visit, I found myself feeling increasingly rejected. She pulled away from kisses, declined my attempts to be close, and never initiated any affection. Eventually, I expressed to her that I felt needy and desperate, and that it wasn’t fair for me to keep putting myself out there if she wasn’t willing to engage. Her response was that she had already decided the long-distance aspect wouldn't work for us, emphasizing that I shouldn’t expect sex or intimacy, as everything was new to her and she had other priorities. The following day, while out with friends, I overheard someone I didn't know asking her if we were really together. A mutual friend joked about their chemistry, and the guy replied, "That's why I had to ask!" After dinner, my friend let her know he would text me later to arrange another meetup, and she actually asked him about it multiple times throughout the night. I don’t typically feel jealous, but it really upset me that she seemed more interested in him than focusing on us during my visit. Right now, I feel like such a failure. I’m tall, fit, have solid social skills, and a good career, attracting attention from other women, but nothing seems to matter when it comes to the one I truly care about, and it’s really taking a toll on me. It feels like I have to maintain this enormous facade to manage all the drama, rejection, stress, and coldness. The moment I show any vulnerability, it seems she loses respect for me and intimacy disappears for weeks or even months. Women of Reddit, what would lead you to behave this way towards a guy? Men of Reddit who've faced a similar situation — how did you cope?

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