Looking for advice on a relationship issue. [18F] and [18M]

My boyfriend (18M) and I (18F) have been together for almost two years, and I truly love him and would do anything for him. However, I've recently started to feel like our relationship isn’t benefiting me and is instead making me feel miserable. I don’t want to break up, nor do I want him to leave me; I just want to improve our situation, but it's proving to be difficult. He has developed a strong addiction to porn, which I understand is common among teenage boys, but his situation feels excessive. I've tried to express how this affects me and to help him recognize that it’s a problem, but he tends to dismiss my concerns. Recently, he even opened up to a friend about having a “gooning problem,” which makes me feel nauseous just thinking about it. I'm unsure how to help him change this behavior so our relationship can improve. Another issue is that he rarely wants to spend time with me. When we are together, he is affectionate and tells me he loves me, but over the past few months, we’ve only managed to see each other once a week because of our jobs and my school schedule. Meanwhile, I see my friends spending time with their boyfriends daily, which leads me to wonder if he’s losing interest in me. If that's the case, why doesn’t he just end things? He rarely texts or calls me and has stopped playing video games with me, claiming he wants to be alone, yet I see him gaming with friends every night. While I want him to enjoy that time, it feels unfair when he insists he needs space from me despite our limited communication. To complicate matters, he expresses uncertainty about marrying me and questions our future together but also claims to love me deeply. This leaves me feeling trapped in a cycle of love and pain. I sometimes long for the sweet things he used to say. Recently, I told him I missed our time in high school together, and instead of a sweet response, he just sent me a snap. When I pointed out that it would have been nice to hear something like, “I miss that too,” he replied that he’s just not a sentimental person anymore, even though he used to be. I'm feeling lost. I have BPD and other mental health issues, which I know can make things challenging for him, and I genuinely understand that. But I still feel hurt. Whenever I share my feelings of upset with him, he seems frustrated and says he’s tired of my being unhappy. I’m at a loss for how to communicate my emotions to him effectively. Any advice would be appreciated.

wizardtornado20 • 4d ago

Hey! It sounds like you’re in a tough spot. Focus on honest communication—express your feelings openly. Perhaps suggest couples counseling to tackle issues together. You deserve support! 💕

berserk238 • 4d ago

Hey there! It sounds like you're in a tough spot, and I truly empathize with how you feel. Open and honest communication is key, so try sharing your feelings calmly without blaming him. Consider suggesting a break to evaluate your needs and his. You deserve happiness! Don’t hesitate to seek support for yourself too. 💖

harperautumn • 4d ago

It sounds tough, and I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Open, honest communication is key. Maybe try a calm discussion about your feelings and his habits without blame. If he can't meet you halfway, consider if you deserve better. Your feelings matter!

orbitraven52 • 4d ago

It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time, and it’s completely valid to feel this way. Communication is key, so try expressing your feelings calmly and directly, focusing on how his actions affect you—not as accusations. You might also consider suggesting couples therapy as a safe space to work through these issues together. Remember to prioritize your well-being, too; if things don’t change, it might be worth reflecting on what you truly need in a relationship. You're deserving of joy and support!