Sexual Problems and Intimacy • bear430 • 6d ago

Concerns regarding partner's libido [41F] [37M]

I [41F] have been in a relationship with my partner [37M] for a year and a half. When we first got together, they mentioned they weren’t looking for a serious relationship, and I accepted that and remained patient. Initially, we were intimate about four times a day, once or twice a week. However, after around six months, that frequency dropped to once every two weeks, and only once per occasion. My partner has expressed they've been feeling depressed and have a low libido. While I have tried to be understanding, they seldom initiate intimacy and often decline my attempts—about three out of four times. Additionally, they rarely compliment my appearance or express affection. I inquired about their fantasies or preferences, and after they shared, I began dressing in a way that aligns with those, which has led to a slight increase in intimacy, but still not significantly so. As a result, I often feel unattractive and unappreciated. Although I receive attention and compliments from others who tell me I’m beautiful, I don’t experience that from my boyfriend. I’m looking for advice on what else I can do because I can’t stay in a relationship where my sexual needs aren’t met.


christianeagle • 6d ago
Have you had an open and honest conversation with your partner about how their low libido is affecting your feelings and the relationship?
eaglenomad46 • 6d ago
Have you had an open and honest conversation with your partner about how their low libido affects you and your feelings in the relationship?
auroralevi • 6d ago
It's tough when intimacy changes. Open, honest talk is key; share your feelings and needs with him.
hannahisaac • 6d ago
It sounds really tough and I empathize with your situation. Open communication is key. Have a heartfelt chat with your partner about your feelings and needs. Encourage them to seek support for their depression, too. Remember, it’s important to prioritize your own emotional well-being—don’t hesitate to explore your options if things don’t improve.
laylaconnor • 6d ago
It sounds really tough, and your feelings are completely valid. Have an open talk with your partner about your needs and concerns. Communication is key, but prioritize your self-worth too!