Relationship advices: Trust and Jealousy

Should I go?

I've been seeing a guy for the past seven months, and we've faced some challenges in our relationship. One major issue is his close friendship with a girl, for whom he has previously admitted to having feelings. He assured me that nothing physical ever happened between them, but he seems to have held onto those feelings until he met me. As we began dating, I noticed he continued to communicate with her frequently, which made me uncomfortable. I asked him to establish some boundaries, but it doesn't seem like he has enforced them as much as I would prefer. I get the impression that he genuinely cares for her and wants her in his life, which disturbs me, especially given what I know about their history. Recently, he mentioned that they hadn't spoken for about a month and a half, but during the weekend he spent with me, I saw that she messaged him in the morning. That triggered a lot of anxiety for me. It feels like no matter what I do or say, he will always keep her around, and I would need to accept that if I want to be with him. However, I don't think I can accept it after everything we've been through together. Just seeing that one notification has consumed my thoughts for the past two days, and I feel like I need to walk away from this relationship. I could really use some advice on how to handle this situation.

How should I bring up the issue of a potential porn addiction with my partner, "m24," especially regarding their messaging people on Discord about it?

Hi everyone, I’m a 21-year-old and my partner is 24. We've talked before about the topic of corn in our relationship. Honestly, I’m not concerned about what he does when he’s alone. However, yesterday, I caught a glimpse of his phone after he got out of the bathroom, and I saw that his Discord app was open. It looked like he was chatting with someone and discussing some pornographic material. I didn’t catch the details because he quickly turned his phone away and shut it off before I could see more. I tried to brush it off but definitely gave him a look. I don’t think he realized what I saw, and I just went to bed afterward. I went to bed around midnight, and he didn’t come to bed until almost 2 AM. I'm looking for advice on what I should do. He has a history of being in roleplay group chats, and I found one before we started dating, but he insists that he keeps things PG now. Lately, I’ve noticed he seems distant, and sometimes he hides his phone when I walk into the room, which gives off a strange vibe. He’s always been so nice, and we’ve been together for almost three years without any suspicions of cheating, but his recent behavior feels a bit off. Any advice would be appreciated!

What steps should I take?

I (25F) and my boyfriend (34M) have been together for nearly two years. To give you some background on our relationship: we met in 2021 and initially became close friends, which eventually led to a friends-with-benefits situation. I fell in love with him, but he didn’t feel the same way at first — he had a bit of a player reputation before we started dating. Before we became an official couple, he went overseas for a job on a ship. A few weeks after he left, I found out I was pregnant, which caused him to panic because he wasn't ready for fatherhood. He urged me to see a doctor to confirm the pregnancy, and later that day, he called to say he was considering a relationship with me and would formally ask when he returned home. However, during the three months he was at sea, he was talking to other girls while I remained completely loyal to him. During this time, I also suffered a miscarriage, which was incredibly difficult for me. When he returned home, he wouldn’t give me a clear answer about wanting to date, and it took me expressing that I could no longer wait for him to realize he might lose me. Once we officially started dating, things seemed to be going well until I had a gut feeling to check his old phone (I know snooping is wrong). What I found shattered me: evidence of the women he had been talking to and explicit pictures he received while I was confiding in him about my loss. We talked things through, but my trust was shaken, especially after discovering notes on his phone listing the pros and cons of dating me. Fast forward a month, we were lounging on the couch together. He was moving between his phone and YouTube videos. When I stepped out to use the bathroom, I noticed he quickly locked his phone. I became suspicious but tried to remain calm. When I returned, I caught a glimpse of him on Reddit looking at explicit content. I confronted him, and while he tried to dismiss it, he knew I saw everything. I was upset because, given my past experiences with my ex, I have strong feelings against pornography. He apologized, but it felt empty since he already knew how I felt. Throughout our relationship, we've faced ups and downs, but the main issue has been me repeatedly catching him looking at porn or naked women online. The last incident was particularly hurtful: we had an intimate morning, went shopping, and when I opened the car door to get in, he was looking at explicit content. I was devastated, and while he apologized over and over again, it felt like he was only regretful about being caught. After expressing how his actions made me feel disrespected, he seemed to understand and hasn’t repeated the behavior since. Recently, I discovered troubling information. Before his last trip, he used my dad's backup phone while waiting for his phone to be repaired. He left everything logged in for me to see, and while browsing his emails, I noticed one that stood out. It was from a girl who helped him renew his driver’s license; she emailed him, saying "I thought you looked cute." He responded casually and ultimately gave her his number. I recently saw their conversation where she expressed her interest in him, and he flirted back, even saying, "I could say the same about you." They discussed whether he was married, which made it seem like he was trying to appear single despite having a profile picture of us together on WhatsApp. Reddit, I’m at a loss for what to do. I genuinely love this guy; he’s done so much for me, from caring for me to helping me out of a deep depression when we first met. In my past relationships, I always felt like I was the one giving. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My boyfriend frequently returns home much later than he originally tells me.

Whenever my boyfriend (21M) goes out with his friends, he tells me the time he expects to be back. We started doing this after moving in together because I’m not comfortable leaving the front door unlocked all night. We usually agree on a reasonable time. The problem is, he often comes home hours later than he said he would. It’s rare for him to return close to the agreed time. I would be okay with it if he just took a moment to text or call me, but he doesn't reach out at all while he's out. This leaves me waiting for up to 10 hours without hearing from him, forcing me to stay up until 2 or 3 AM, only for him to come home with no explanation other than “plans ran late.” This has happened so many times that I’m seriously considering ending the relationship. Does anyone have any advice?

Is it typical for a boyfriend to request $50,000 in a long-distance relationship?

My boyfriend (25M) and I (19F) have been in a long-distance relationship for nearly a year. Last night, he requested ₹50,000 from me, and I sent it without hesitation. Thankfully, I don’t have financial issues since I come from a wealthy family, but something feels off about this situation, and I can't quite put my finger on why. He has always been a wonderful partner—kind, caring, and supportive despite the distance. This is the first time he has ever asked for money, claiming it was for an emergency. At the time, I trusted him completely, but now I find myself overthinking everything. Did I trust him too quickly? Is this behavior typical in relationships? I genuinely care about him and don’t want to second-guess his intentions, but there’s an unsettling feeling about this. Perhaps I’m being paranoid, or maybe it’s my intuition trying to warn me. I’m feeling quite confused right now and would appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar or has advice to share. Is this a common occurrence in long-distance relationships, or am I putting myself at risk?

My boyfriend (26 years old) keeps expressing an attraction to girls on Instagram and TikTok.

I (25F) and my boyfriend (26M) have been in a relationship for over four years. Throughout this time, I've caught him multiple times looking at and saving photos of famous Instagram and TikTok girls—bathing suit pictures, workout images, and even OF leaks. The first time I discovered it was by accident, and it shattered my trust in him, leading me to check his phone whenever we reunited after periods of long distance. Each time I did, I found more of this content, which left me feeling hurt and desperate for him to stop. This behavior has continued even after we moved in together and became more intimate. There's one particular girl he's been fixated on since I first discovered his actions, and she doesn't resemble me at all. What would you do in my situation? Is this common behavior among guys? TL;DR: My boyfriend struggles to stop obsessing over famous girls on the internet, and I'm unsure how to handle it.

My husband (22M) wants to open our marriage to explore his sexuality, but I (26F) feel that we're not ready for that.

Hi Reddit, **Disclaimer:** I used ChatGPT to assist in organizing and clarifying my thoughts for this post, but everything shared here is true and reflects my genuine experiences and feelings. I'm in a challenging situation and need some advice. My husband (22M) and I (26F) have been together for several years, and we have a 2.5-year-old son. We eloped previously but had plans for a bigger wedding in our backyard once we could afford it. We've faced some difficulties along the way, but we've managed to work through them with couples therapy. I thought we were progressing as a couple. Last week, my husband surprised me by saying he wanted to leave. I was completely taken aback. We had been talking about trying for another child, moving to a new house, and planning our wedding, so hearing this felt like a devastating blow. I've been feeling extremely anxious, crying often, and even experiencing panic attacks. He mentioned that he doesn’t feel like himself around me and experiences anxiety in our time together. Today, we had another therapy session, which seemed productive. My husband revealed that he doesn’t want to leave after all, but instead wants to explore an open marriage. We previously attempted an open relationship out of curiosity, but it was fraught with complications. He experienced jealousy when I went on a few dates with a woman I was interested in, culminating in him blocking her number and deleting our messages after I shared a kiss with her. I initially thought I had been ghosted, but later discovered he had taken action behind my back. The most painful part came during a disagreement when he confessed that he had been involved with several cisgender women, alongside trans women—something we had discussed regarding our open relationship—despite initially telling me I couldn't have relationships with other men. He had set “rules” for our arrangement, and breaking one of the most significant ones felt like a severe betrayal of trust. It highlighted a troubling hypocrisy: he wanted the freedom to explore his sexuality while restricting mine. After that, we decided to put a halt to the open relationship and focused on therapy to improve our communication and address our issues. Fast forward to now, and my husband has shown notable personal growth. He’s dedicated himself to establishing boundaries, understanding his emotions, and enhancing our communication. I’ve genuinely appreciated his progress and thought we were on the right path forward. Now, he wants to consider reopening our relationship again. While I might be open to that possibility eventually, I feel we’re not quite ready yet. I’m supportive of his desire to explore, and I understand my own curiosities, but I don’t think we have enough trust or clear communication established to try again at this moment. I want to ensure we can openly discuss our feelings, set clear boundaries, and handle any jealousy without complications arising. I’m caught between wanting to help him explore his identity and the necessity of building more trust and communication first. If I ask him to wait until we're more stable, I worry he might decide to leave. However, if I agree now, I fear it could jeopardize the progress we've made over the past year. What should I do? Should I consent to reopen the relationship, risking the trust we've worked hard to establish, or should I ask him to hold off until we're in a stronger place, risking his departure?

Looking for guidance on how to address my partner.

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year now, and lately, I've noticed that she likes a lot of Instagram reels featuring attractive men. It seems clear to me that she’s drawn to their looks rather than the content of the posts, which makes me feel disrespected and uncomfortable. These posts usually showcase good-looking guys, and their appeal definitely comes from their appearance. I understand that finding other people attractive is completely normal. However, I believe there’s a difference between recognizing someone’s attractiveness and actually being attracted to them. I can’t shake the feeling that my girlfriend is attracted to the men in these reels. I also see posts of attractive women and, while I can acknowledge their looks, I choose not to like them—mainly because I don't want to make my girlfriend uncomfortable. My attraction is solely to her, and for me, finding attraction in others, even celebrities, feels like a form of cheating. Therefore, seeing her likes on these posts bothers me deeply. I want to have an open conversation with her about this, but I’m unsure how to approach it without coming across as insecure or controlling. Any advice on how to bring this up would be greatly appreciated.

My boyfriend keeps ignoring me.

I'm a (m18) and my boyfriend (m19) are in a long-distance relationship. This is my first time writing something like this, so I apologize if it’s a bit confusing. My boyfriend, let's call him Zack, and I have been together for 9 months, and overall, things have been good. However, every few weeks, he goes quiet or becomes distant through texts. He doesn’t share what’s bothering him, yet he continues to chat with his friends. I’m beginning to worry that I might be too needy or clingy, which has caused issues in past relationships. He always reassures me that he doesn’t mind and even finds it cute. Recently, I've started to suspect he might be cheating. A few days ago, he mentioned that during one of his periods of ghosting me, another girl showed interest in him. They exchanged Discord information and revealed their faces, but he only stopped communicating with her because he found her "ugly." He told me this months later, and now I'm left wondering what if he just said that. He often claims he’s 70/30 in terms of his attraction between genders since he’s bi and prefers women. What if she wasn’t unattractive to him after all? He has mentioned that I'm a "one-time thing" and if we were to break up, he’d likely seek older partners. Plus, he’s hinted that a few friends of his have been hitting on him again. Maybe I’m being overly sensitive, but I can't shake the feeling that he might be cheating on me or losing interest.

My jealousy is starting to cause problems in my relationship. Do you have any suggestions for overcoming these insecurities?

I apologize for the lengthy message; I got a bit carried away with the details! :) I'm an 18-year-old FtM, and my boyfriend is 21. We’ve been together for almost 7 months now. I've always struggled with jealousy, which only got worse due to my last boyfriend cheating on me with his female best friend. My previous relationships involved partners who had very few sexual experiences, while my current boyfriend has had 8 partners. It's not a huge issue for me, but I’m not used to partners with higher relationship histories. Our first date happened while he was in an open relationship, and his ex ended things because we hooked up. I’ve met her several times, which makes it hard not to compare myself to her. There's also another girl (20) in his friend group. They hooked up about two years ago, and I heard from a mutual friend that she may still have feelings for him. At first, this was okay since she lived an hour away and had a girlfriend. However, she's now single and lives nearby. Recently, my boyfriend has gone to a couple of group events where she was present, but he didn’t mention her when I asked who would be there. I found out through social media that they were getting close at those events. The first time, she was his Secret Santa and overspent on his gift, and the second time, I saw a photo of them sitting across from each other at a restaurant. We’ve talked about how uncomfortable this makes me, and he’s been really supportive and understanding. I know part of my feelings stem from my past experience with cheating, but I also struggle with body insecurities. His exes are all beautiful women with curves, and as a trans man, I sometimes feel inferior to them. Additionally, there’s been some criticism from his old friends about our age difference, which means he can’t be as public about our relationship as he was with his exes. It’s been two days since I found out about the last event, and it’s really weighing on me. I realize this is something I need to work on, and I’d appreciate any guidance or advice on how to handle it. I constantly think about her, and I’m not sure how to move past these feelings. I know I might sound like a jealous partner, but I genuinely want to overcome this and not let it jeopardize our relationship, which means the world to me. Thank you so much for your support! TL;DR: My boyfriend has a female friend from a past one-night stand, and it’s making me feel anxious and jealous.

Did 28M sacrifice a core value for 38F, or is he simply not fully committed to her?

**38F** **28M** **Met:** October 31, 2020 **Married:** June 5, 2023 My husband expressed that he compromised his core values by purchasing our marital home with just his name on the mortgage (financial responsibility) while both our names are listed on the deed (ownership) last November. He brings this up during arguments and pressures me to conform to his mother's wishes. This arrangement became necessary due to my job instability and significant pay cuts (the first major decrease was $17,000 annually) that occurred after moving for his job, which granted him a temporary per diem pay raise of over $3,000 a month. It was also stipulated in our prenup that community property must include both names; otherwise, it is solely owned by one party. When he complained about acting in a way I assumed any loving husband would, it made me question, "Does he really love me?" I genuinely want to understand if this is a valid concern and if it's another red flag I overlooked in my marriage to a man who seems to have a stronger bond with his mother than with me. **Background:** The prenup indicated that he didn’t care about me, and despite this, I signed it out of love, believing him when he assured me that the document didn’t reflect the reality of our feelings. In therapy, he revealed that the prenup was primarily for his mother’s benefit. He began our marriage with her influence in mind and has now acknowledged his enmeshment with her. He essentially acquired our house after consulting with a loan officer and a family friend. The loan officer expressed his conflict but ultimately proceeded because he loved his wife, while the friend urged him to step up as he had done when his wife was in medical school; both men conveyed that love should drive those decisions without needing further consultation. Lastly—feel free to skip this part as I'm just venting—when I changed jobs, I lost excellent health insurance that cost only $10 a month. My husband was only open to adding me to his insurance if I reimbursed him each month. I complied, and then we moved again to Sherman, TX, where the pay cut wasn’t just $3,000 like the last job change, but $17,000 annually. He only agreed to cover my insurance after I was unemployed and we discussed the possibility of pregnancy. He downplays that aspect and insists he did it out of love, but I can’t help but wonder if he truly understands love or if he’s just displaying a form of immaturity. His love feels painful, and I question whether he knows what love really means, especially in light of his mother’s strong influence.

My boyfriend (18M), who I've been with for 2 years, spent 7 hours at his ex-girlfriend's (18F) house on airplane mode on New Year's, completely ignoring me (18F).

My boyfriend, 18, and I, 18, have been struggling with trust issues. He cheated on me before, which I’ve tried to move past, understanding that we’re still young. With Christmas approaching, I was looking forward to spending the day with him, but he ended up ignoring me, which just created more tension between us. On New Year’s, he chose to hang out with a friend (which I’m fine with), but then he suddenly went on airplane mode. When he finally turned it back on, I discovered he was at his ex's house because he forgot to disable his location. He refused to come home, wouldn’t answer my calls, told me it was over, and went into airplane mode for seven hours. The next morning, he called me at 7 AM and asked if we were still together. I was in tears, asking him what happened, but he insisted nothing had occurred. Now, I’m left wondering if I can trust him or not. I don't look anything like his ex, and I’ve shared with him how insecure that makes me feel. He questioned why I let one person affect me this way, but he’s often praised her beauty in the past. I’m not sharing all the details yet because I’m still very shaken and upset about everything—I really need advice on how to confront him, communicate my feelings, and whether my insecurities are justified.

Is it strange for my girlfriend (24F) to have a male best friend (24M) who is attracted to her?

It seems they've been friends for quite a while, and this guy has a crush on my girlfriend. Although she’s aware of his feelings, she insists she doesn't have any romantic feelings for him, so she thinks there's no reason to be concerned. Nothing has ever happened between them, aside from him asking her out, which she turned down. Despite that, they've maintained their friendship. Do you think this situation is odd?

What steps should I take if my boyfriend is accessing all my passwords without my permission?

My boyfriend, who is 23, and I, at 21, have been together for about a year. Things were going well until recently when we started experiencing some petty arguments and disagreements. He has revealed that he has been cheated on in the past, and my tendency to be closed off at times doesn’t help the situation. It hasn’t helped that he’s seen the numerous messages and likes I receive on Facebook whenever I post a picture. It began with small things, like him going through my past FaceTime logs and texting unfamiliar numbers, asking whether they’d been in contact with me since we started dating. That was really embarrassing. We talked it over and decided to focus on building more trust. However, I discovered that he has somehow gained access to all my social media accounts. I found this out because he knows specific details about whom I’ve accepted or blocked. Upon checking my settings, I noticed logins from his device and location. I feel vulnerable and that my privacy has been completely violated, and I’m unsure how to handle this situation.

Ended the relationship with my boyfriend because he was liking pictures.

I'm a 25-year-old woman and my long-distance boyfriend is 29. We’ve been together for nine months, and our relationship felt like a fairytale. We had known each other for years before finally getting together. He would fly out from another state every few months to spend time with me, treating me exceptionally well throughout our relationship. I genuinely fell in love with him and appreciated how he treated me. However, there was one issue: he frequently liked photos of other women on Facebook, particularly one in particular. This really bothered me and felt disrespectful, so I brought it up with him twice. Each time I expressed my concerns, he would shut down and go silent, unsure of how to respond. I found this very frustrating, but I did my best to remain patient and give him time to process. His responses usually included comments like, “You think every guy doesn’t do this?” and “We’re not married, so I don’t think it’s fair for you to ask me to stop doing that.” It seems that I can’t request respect until we’re married, which leaves me feeling disillusioned and confused. Despite everything, he has been a great boyfriend in many ways. He made me feel safe, cherished, and invested a lot in our relationship. If he was willing to put in the effort to visit me regularly, why couldn't he just agree to this simple boundary? I'm torn about whether I should reach out again or stick with my decision to give him space. I genuinely cared about our relationship, and the thought that he must have loved and cared for me makes this even harder to understand. I want to clarify that I'm not looking for validation regarding my feelings or anyone to tell me I'm insecure. This is simply a boundary I've established. I can’t be in a relationship where another woman is constantly aware that she has his attention. I don’t understand why he could be so wonderful in other aspects yet overlook this important concern. I’m tempted to reach out to him, but I also want to maintain my self-respect and let him take the initiative. Am I making a mistake by holding back, or should I send him a message? I'm really unsure.

My long-distance girlfriend (21F) groped her friend in front of me while she was drunk. (I’m 24M)

Around New Year's, I visited my long-distance girlfriend in the town where she attends university. On New Year's Eve, we had some of her friends from work over, along with a friend of mine from university. We played drinking games before going out. During this time, my girlfriend got excessively drunk and, despite my suggestion to prepare some food together before our guests arrived, she refused. Instead, we ended up having just a piece of toast, planning to grab takeaway in town later. She drank a lot of gin, and although we tried to encourage her to drink water, she declined. When I pulled her aside to say, "Hey, you need to slow down; we still need to get into the bar, and you're starting to drop and break things," she became offended, feeling like I was treating her like a child. I decided to let it go, thinking she was an adult and could handle herself. Once we arrived at the bar, things seemed to be going smoothly, but one of her close friends was working at another bar and suggested we head there for discounted drinks after his shift ended. I declined, explaining that he would be coming to our bar, and I didn't mention that cheap cocktails wouldn't be a good idea at that point. This seemed to frustrate her even more. Much later, we celebrated New Year's, but there was still tension between us, making it hard for me to enjoy the evening. I ended up stepping outside to the smokers' section, where her friend came up, handed me a shot, and asked why we seemed upset with each other. I honestly replied that I didn't even know. At that moment, my girlfriend walked out, approached her friend, grabbed him inappropriately, looked at him, and then walked away. He and I were both taken aback, and I said, "What the hell was that?" He was equally stunned and shrugged in confusion. This incident filled me with anger, prompting me to say, "Forget this, I'm leaving," and I decided to go to another bar with my friend and enjoy some drinks just with him. Now, this situation has shaken my trust in her. I recognize that I have insecurities about her being a young, attractive woman partying at university, and while we've discussed these concerns in the past and had built trust, this incident has me questioning everything. If she could act like that in front of me, I can't help but wonder what she might be doing when I'm not around. In my frustration, I suggested we take a break. She cried and pleaded with me to reconsider, and eventually, I caved. Now that I'm back home, I'm left trying to sort through my feelings. Additionally, she has exams coming up, and I had planned a trip to my parents' apartment in the Alps for skiing afterward. But now, I'm uncertain if I want to do that, especially if she doesn't seem to realize the gravity of her actions. It feels unfair to reward that behavior with a lavish trip. I think I might be overreacting, but I can't shake the feeling that if the roles were reversed, there would be serious repercussions for me simply for approaching a woman that way. It's all very confusing and frustrating, and I would appreciate any thoughts on this situation.

Am I overreacting by suspecting my partner might be cheating, or is it just my insecurity?

Hey Reddit, I'm a 30-year-old woman seeking some perspective because I feel like I'm starting to spiral. My significant other, who's 27, has a close coworker, and even though he says she's a lesbian (which I completely respect), their relationship makes me uneasy. They communicate constantly, often more than he and I do, and she frequently joins his Twitch streams, even when we're gaming together. Whenever I bring it up, he downplays my concerns, saying I'm overthinking and reminding me that she's not interested in men. Still, my instinct tells me that something isn't quite right, even though I recognize that my feelings might be influenced by insecurity and past trauma from relationships that ended due to "just friends." I've been honest with him about my insecurities and history, but it feels like he's dismissive of my feelings. I don’t want to project my issues onto him, but I also don’t want to overlook any potential red flags. So, Reddit, am I overreacting? Is this feeling rooted in my trauma and insecurity, or is there something that warrants a conversation? How can I address this without coming across as accusatory or irrational? Thank you for your support.

How can I overcome feeling uncomfortable when my boyfriend laughs with other women?

The title pretty much sums it up. I'm a 22-year-old female (turning 23 in 5 days! :3), and my boyfriend is a 28-year-old male. We live together in a small camper, which is essentially just one room, and he works from home. This setup isn't ideal since I'm at home for school, meaning I have to stick to my desk during his work hours because he needs a quiet space without distractions (which I totally understand). As a result, I overhear all his calls, and about once a week, he has a meeting with his manager—a woman. Their conversations often start off lightheartedly with casual discussions before they get down to business about what needs to be done. What really bothers me is how much he laughs during those calls. I think it triggers my jealousy, especially since she’s another woman, and it makes me feel insecure to hear him having such a good time. Even though I try to rationalize it, sitting at my desk and hearing him giggle like she's the funniest person ever really gets under my skin. I want to learn how to handle this maturely and move past these feelings. I also know he’s probably just trying to impress her for a promotion. Rationalizing doesn’t stop my feelings of upset, but I don’t let it affect our relationship, nor do I mention it to him because I recognize that it’s my own issue. I wish I could just let it go. It doesn’t help that he jokes around with other women too. He got somewhat close to one coworker, even calling her "by far his favorite," which I stumbled upon. He explained that he was using her to gauge what others thought of him, I guess because he believes people might be envious of his work performance. Since then, I've felt increasingly uneasy whenever he talks and jokes with any female colleagues, including his manager. Edit: I probably should have titled this "with other women." My bad!

"I'm curious to find out if your boyfriend or husband does this." (28F, 30M)

My husband is 30 and I’m 28; we got married six months ago after being in a long-distance relationship for five years. He loves me and takes care of everything, but I’ve noticed that on his Instagram and Reddit, he likes posts from celebrities and porn stars. A few times, this made me really upset, and I caused a big scene, which led him to change his passwords so I wouldn't see what he was doing online and react angrily. At first, I thought, "It’s your life; you can do what you want, as long as you’re not cheating." However, now that I can't see his activity when he's out with friends or at work, I find myself having negative thoughts. I'm confident he wouldn't date anyone else or spend money on another girl, but I still feel insecure when I see him engaging with other women online. I just want to know, is this normal behavior for guys? In short, I'm curious whether my husband's actions are inappropriate or if this is typical behavior among committed men.

I'm a 21-year-old guy and I'm struggling to find reasons to stay in my relationship with my 19-year-old girlfriend.

My girlfriend and I have been together for about six months, and for the most part, it's been quite good. She shows me a lot of affection, and we generally get along well. However, three days into our relationship, she sent a bikini photo to a group on Snapchat that included both girls and at least one guy. That guy saved the picture and complimented her, but she didn't respond. It wasn’t until about two months later that I found out about this, and it really upset me. I also noticed she had many guys on her Snapchat that she communicated with. When I expressed my discomfort with the situation, she removed them all. Moving past this has been challenging for me, and I find myself questioning her choices and values. Another issue is that she presents herself as a deeply religious person who loves God. She has biblical quotes and highlights on her Instagram about her faith. Yet, I recently discovered that her religious beliefs are superficial; she seems to be religious mainly to secure her place in heaven. She once told me she lost her faith during a wild phase before we started dating, but she continued to post about her love for God, which feels contradictory. While she is genuinely sweet to me, she can be quite judgmental about other girls, which I find troubling, especially given her own past. I’ve pointed out that her comments about others are unfair since she has behaved similarly at one point, and I think she’s starting to grasp that perspective. It hurts to feel that even though she professes her love for me, she’s not fully open about her thoughts and feelings, while I strive to be transparent with her. It seems like she tried to portray herself as the ideal girlfriend at the beginning of our relationship, but once we were together, her flaws started to emerge. She insists that I am her soulmate and that we’re meant to be together forever. I want to believe her, but I can’t shake the disappointment from the past six months. She’s promised to change and improve things, which I genuinely think is possible, but I’m struggling to move past her history and her lack of honesty with me. Should I set aside my feelings and allow her the chance to improve, or has she crossed too many boundaries and revealed her true self?

It's becoming unmanageable.

I’m a 22-year-old woman in a relationship with a 25-year-old man, and we’ve been together for eight months. He was in a seven-year relationship before we met, and we started dating just two months after his breakup. From the start, he made it clear that he wanted to be with me. He even took the time to learn the language my parents speak so he could communicate with them better, especially since I hope to raise our future children speaking it. I have traditional values and told him early on that I’d like us to wait until engagement before living together or going on vacations. He not only respected my wishes but also expressed appreciation for my values, wishing he had waited to find the right person instead of spending time with the wrong one. His previous relationship was quite different from ours. Even though it lasted seven years, it became emotionally distant, especially towards the end. They lived together and shared a bed, but they hardly communicated, spent little time together, and were not intimate. Their emotional connection faded two years before they actually broke up. During that time, he remained loyal to her, but unfortunately, she cheated on him, further complicating their already toxic situation. My boyfriend has reassured me many times that he has never been as happy or certain about someone as he is with me. He makes me feel special and loved. However, I often struggle with feelings of jealousy about his past relationship. I'm not concerned about the physical or sexual aspects—my experience in those areas exceeds his—but rather about the emotional milestones they reached together, like living together and traveling. These experiences, which I have yet to have in a relationship, leave me feeling sad. I can’t help but think about how he shared those moments with someone else, even though he insists they weren’t meaningful or fulfilling for him. Knowing that they had those experiences together—even if the connection was weak—sometimes leads me to feel like I’m competing with memories that I cannot change. I would really appreciate any advice!

Uncertainty

I'm a 19-year-old male in a relationship with another 19-year-old male, and we’ve been together for about two months. Since we started dating, I’ve been struggling with insecurities and getting upset over things that shouldn’t matter. This is my first relationship, and my partner has more sexual experience than I do; he was also in a relationship before me, which might contribute to my feelings, though I’m not entirely sure. Even though his past relationship was toxic and he often tells me how much happier he is with me, I find myself feeling down about random comments he makes. For example, during a recent night out, he mentioned a building where he had a certain intimate experience with his ex. This completely unsettled me, and I found it hard to enjoy the rest of the night and felt off for a couple of days afterward. Additionally, I often feel physically insecure, thinking I’m not as attractive as he is, or that he has a better life with a more supportive family and friends. I really dislike feeling jealous because I know it’s irrational; he clearly has strong feelings for me and does everything he can to spend time with me. We have good communication, and I genuinely enjoy being with him, but I sometimes experience bad days where I overthink and feel inadequate, making me want to distance myself from him, which is a distressing feeling. Does anyone have advice on how to handle this?

Partner attending a funeral.

My boyfriend, who is 36, has been with me for two years and is driving 10 hours to his great uncle's funeral. I'm 32 and have never met his family, who live 8 hours away. I wasn’t invited to go with him; he just mentioned he would be leaving on Friday and coming back on Monday. Would this upset you, or is it a common situation?

Does constantly thinking about breaking up indicate something is wrong in my relationship?

My boyfriend (22) and I (23) have been together for some time, and overall, things have been good. However, we’ve had our share of rough times, including arguments, him lying about things, and general annoyances that have led to more conflict. After dealing with his lies, I find myself feeling uneasy in our relationship. We’ve tried talking things over and giving each other some space, but we quickly fell back into our routine. I can't shake the feeling of uncertainty—I'm torn between whether staying with him is the right decision or if breaking up would be better. Will I regret either choice? I love him, and he treats me well, but I’m no longer confident in our relationship. I want to leave, yet I also want to stay. I’m feeling really conflicted, and I would appreciate any advice or perspectives on this situation.

Is it acceptable for a partner to still be following their exes on social media?

Hello! This is my first post on Reddit; I've been just a reader until now. Before writing this, I looked into some posts on a similar topic, but I couldn't find a clear answer. Here's what's going on: I (27M) recently started dating a wonderful girl (27F) about four months ago. She's sweet, loving, and we really enjoy each other's company. We communicate openly about any issues that come up, which has been great. Recently, we went on a trip to a place she had visited before, and while everything was fantastic, there was one thing that bothered me. She kept saying "we," like "Oh, I remember when we were here before," or "We did this." I jokingly asked who this "we" was since it wasn’t us, and she explained that she meant her ex and friends from past experiences. I’m trying not to overthink it, but when I learned who her ex is, I noticed they’re still connected on social media—Facebook and Instagram. She also has a lot of archived stories from her time with him, including pictures and short videos, which I initially thought were from a friend. I haven't brought up the archived stories yet because I'm afraid of how she might react. When I did ask about them following each other, she shrugged it off and mentioned she's still following another ex, which didn’t sit well with me. We've taken new photos together, and she’s added them to her existing stories. While she’s been nothing but supportive towards me, the fact that she’s still connected to her exes is troubling. I'm uncertain about how to approach this. She reassured me they don’t communicate, and she even shared details about a brief meeting to pick up her belongings, so I feel somewhat okay about that. Am I overreacting? Am I reading too much into this? Ideally, I would love for her to unfollow her exes and remove the pictures where they’re together. I think my feelings stem from my previous long-term relationship, which ended abruptly because of infidelity. Although that was over four years ago, the trauma still lingers. I’m looking for guidance—should I address this, or let it go? She doesn’t perceive it as a problem, and I’m worried confronting it might create unnecessary conflict. For context, I blocked my ex and her friends to move on. Although I’ve moved past that, these feelings are resurfacing now, and I don’t want to jeopardize this new relationship. What do you all think I should do? Should I say something, or let it be? I don’t want to face a confrontation, especially since we usually discuss our issues openly. And by the way, she still uses her ex’s Netflix account because she doesn’t want to log out—though I’ve shared my account with her to solve that issue. After writing all this out, I’m feeling a little foolish. Is it normal to feel this way? Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated. I really like her and don’t want to break up; it’s just this one concern that’s bothering me. Thanks!

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