Trust and Jealousy • bright901 • 23d ago

It's becoming unmanageable.

I’m a 22-year-old woman in a relationship with a 25-year-old man, and we’ve been together for eight months. He was in a seven-year relationship before we met, and we started dating just two months after his breakup. From the start, he made it clear that he wanted to be with me. He even took the time to learn the language my parents speak so he could communicate with them better, especially since I hope to raise our future children speaking it. I have traditional values and told him early on that I’d like us to wait until engagement before living together or going on vacations. He not only respected my wishes but also expressed appreciation for my values, wishing he had waited to find the right person instead of spending time with the wrong one. His previous relationship was quite different from ours. Even though it lasted seven years, it became emotionally distant, especially towards the end. They lived together and shared a bed, but they hardly communicated, spent little time together, and were not intimate. Their emotional connection faded two years before they actually broke up. During that time, he remained loyal to her, but unfortunately, she cheated on him, further complicating their already toxic situation. My boyfriend has reassured me many times that he has never been as happy or certain about someone as he is with me. He makes me feel special and loved. However, I often struggle with feelings of jealousy about his past relationship. I'm not concerned about the physical or sexual aspects—my experience in those areas exceeds his—but rather about the emotional milestones they reached together, like living together and traveling. These experiences, which I have yet to have in a relationship, leave me feeling sad. I can’t help but think about how he shared those moments with someone else, even though he insists they weren’t meaningful or fulfilling for him. Knowing that they had those experiences together—even if the connection was weak—sometimes leads me to feel like I’m competing with memories that I cannot change. I would really appreciate any advice!


darkflameberserk38 • 23d ago
It's natural to feel jealous of your partner's past experiences, especially when they seem significant, but it's important to focus on your current relationship. Communicate your feelings openly with him. Remember, every relationship is unique, and you have the chance to create new, meaningful experiences together. Emphasize building your own shared memories rather than comparing to the past. Trust and emotional intimacy are key!
emmaguardian • 23d ago
It's understandable to feel this way given the context of your relationship. Have you shared your feelings of jealousy and sadness with him, and if so, how did he respond?
mars392 • 23d ago
It’s normal to feel that way! Focus on creating new memories together. Communicate openly with him.