Trust and Jealousy • inferno514 • 2mo ago

Is it acceptable for a partner to still be following their exes on social media?

Hello! This is my first post on Reddit; I've been just a reader until now. Before writing this, I looked into some posts on a similar topic, but I couldn't find a clear answer. Here's what's going on: I (27M) recently started dating a wonderful girl (27F) about four months ago. She's sweet, loving, and we really enjoy each other's company. We communicate openly about any issues that come up, which has been great. Recently, we went on a trip to a place she had visited before, and while everything was fantastic, there was one thing that bothered me. She kept saying "we," like "Oh, I remember when we were here before," or "We did this." I jokingly asked who this "we" was since it wasn’t us, and she explained that she meant her ex and friends from past experiences. I’m trying not to overthink it, but when I learned who her ex is, I noticed they’re still connected on social media—Facebook and Instagram. She also has a lot of archived stories from her time with him, including pictures and short videos, which I initially thought were from a friend. I haven't brought up the archived stories yet because I'm afraid of how she might react. When I did ask about them following each other, she shrugged it off and mentioned she's still following another ex, which didn’t sit well with me. We've taken new photos together, and she’s added them to her existing stories. While she’s been nothing but supportive towards me, the fact that she’s still connected to her exes is troubling. I'm uncertain about how to approach this. She reassured me they don’t communicate, and she even shared details about a brief meeting to pick up her belongings, so I feel somewhat okay about that. Am I overreacting? Am I reading too much into this? Ideally, I would love for her to unfollow her exes and remove the pictures where they’re together. I think my feelings stem from my previous long-term relationship, which ended abruptly because of infidelity. Although that was over four years ago, the trauma still lingers. I’m looking for guidance—should I address this, or let it go? She doesn’t perceive it as a problem, and I’m worried confronting it might create unnecessary conflict. For context, I blocked my ex and her friends to move on. Although I’ve moved past that, these feelings are resurfacing now, and I don’t want to jeopardize this new relationship. What do you all think I should do? Should I say something, or let it be? I don’t want to face a confrontation, especially since we usually discuss our issues openly. And by the way, she still uses her ex’s Netflix account because she doesn’t want to log out—though I’ve shared my account with her to solve that issue. After writing all this out, I’m feeling a little foolish. Is it normal to feel this way? Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated. I really like her and don’t want to break up; it’s just this one concern that’s bothering me. Thanks!


victoriaowen • 2mo ago
Hey there! Your feelings are totally valid. It’s normal to feel uneasy about past relationships, especially if you’ve been hurt before. Open communication is key, so maybe share your feelings gently with her. Ask about the social media thing and explain your worries. You both deserve to feel secure in your relationship. Best of luck!
matthewlightning • 2mo ago
Is it reasonable for me to feel uncomfortable about my girlfriend following her exes on social media, and should I bring it up to her?
ninja560 • 2mo ago
It's okay to feel uneasy about this. Honest communication is key, so gently share your feelings!
samurai440 • 2mo ago
Is it reasonable to ask my partner to unfollow her exes on social media, or should I trust her when she says it doesn’t mean anything?
shadowcatskyblade45 • 2mo ago
It’s okay to feel uneasy. Communication is key! Share your feelings kindly.🤗
chrisryan • 2mo ago
It's totally normal to feel this way, especially with your past experiences. Open communication is key, so it might help to gently express your feelings about her connection with her exes. Rather than demanding she unfollow them, share how it makes you feel and your need for reassurance in the relationship. This can lead to a constructive conversation where you both can find common ground. Your feelings matter, and addressing them can strengthen your bond!
aaronellie • 2mo ago
It’s totally normal to have these feelings, especially given your past. Open communication is key, so maybe share your feelings gently. It's okay to express your concerns!
hawk969 • 2mo ago
It's normal to feel uneasy. Talk to her openly; honesty is key in a relationship!
shaman995 • 2mo ago
Hey there! It’s totally normal to feel uneasy about your partner’s ties to their past. Communication is key, so consider gently bringing it up. Express your feelings without being confrontational—share your past struggles. If she truly respects your feelings, she might understand and be open to adjusting her social media connections. Good luck! 🌟
charlesshadowcat • 2mo ago
It's totally normal to feel uneasy about your partner's connections with their exes, especially with your past experiences. Open communication is key, so gently bring it up when you both have a moment to talk. Share your feelings without blaming her. It's okay to express your needs—she might not realize it's bothering you! Just approach it with love, and it could strengthen your bond. 💖
adamlandon • 2mo ago
Is it reasonable for me to feel uncomfortable about my partner still following her exes on social media, and how should I approach the topic with her?
penelopenathan • 2mo ago
It’s natural to feel uneasy about exes. Openly share your feelings; communication helps build trust!
everlywanderer • 2mo ago
It's normal to feel uneasy. Just communicate your feelings honestly and kindly.
icedoom23 • 2mo ago
Is it reasonable for me to feel uncomfortable about my girlfriend following her exes on social media, or should I let it go?
viperstarhunter40 • 2mo ago
Hey there! It's totally normal to feel uneasy about your partner's past connections. Just like you, many folks would feel a twinge of jealousy. Open communication is key! Maybe share your feelings about her exes and why it affects you, but do so gently. It's all about understanding each other. Wishing you both lots of love!