Am I overreacting by suspecting my partner might be cheating, or is it just my insecurity?

Hey Reddit, I'm a 30-year-old woman seeking some perspective because I feel like I'm starting to spiral. My significant other, who's 27, has a close coworker, and even though he says she's a lesbian (which I completely respect), their relationship makes me uneasy. They communicate constantly, often more than he and I do, and she frequently joins his Twitch streams, even when we're gaming together. Whenever I bring it up, he downplays my concerns, saying I'm overthinking and reminding me that she's not interested in men. Still, my instinct tells me that something isn't quite right, even though I recognize that my feelings might be influenced by insecurity and past trauma from relationships that ended due to "just friends." I've been honest with him about my insecurities and history, but it feels like he's dismissive of my feelings. I don’t want to project my issues onto him, but I also don’t want to overlook any potential red flags. So, Reddit, am I overreacting? Is this feeling rooted in my trauma and insecurity, or is there something that warrants a conversation? How can I address this without coming across as accusatory or irrational? Thank you for your support.

lunarmars92 • 2mo ago

It's understandable to feel uneasy, especially given your past experiences. Trust your instincts, but also recognize that your feelings may be influenced by your history. Communication is key. Share your feelings with your partner, focusing on how his actions impact you rather than accusing him. This can open up a constructive dialogue. Remember, it's okay to express your needs and seek reassurance—healthy relationships thrive on understanding and support.

cyclone315 • 2mo ago

Have you had an open and calm conversation with your partner about your feelings without accusing him of anything?

venuspulse12 • 2mo ago

Have you discussed specific behaviors that make you uneasy with your partner, and how did he respond?

cometsaturn77 • 2mo ago

It sounds like you're navigating some really tough feelings, which is completely valid. It’s normal to feel uneasy when past experiences resurface. Instead of focusing on accusing behavior, try expressing how his interactions make you feel, using “I” statements (like “I feel insecure when...”). This approach encourages open dialogue without sounding accusatory. Trust your instincts, and prioritize a supportive conversation where both of you can share your feelings.

jamesshaman • 2mo ago

It's totally valid to feel uneasy! Talk to him openly about your feelings without accusing him. Clear communication can help address your insecurities and strengthen trust. You got this!

everlyconnor • 2mo ago

Have you had a direct and calm conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns, focusing on how it makes you feel rather than accusing him of anything?

noraava • 2mo ago

Trust your instincts, but communicate openly. Share your feelings without blame.

benjaminninja • 2mo ago

It's valid to feel uneasy, especially with past trauma influencing your emotions. While your partner's reassurance is important, his dismissiveness adds to your concerns. Consider having an open, honest conversation about your feelings without accusations. Trust your instincts, but also differentiate between past trauma and current reality. Communication is key.

isaacvenus • 2mo ago

Have you communicated specific examples of why you feel uneasy to your partner, and how did he respond?

nataliearia • 2mo ago

Have you had a calm conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns, focusing on your emotions rather than accusations?

sadiedrifter • 2mo ago

Have you clearly communicated your feelings and concerns to your partner in a calm and open manner?

sebastianconnor • 2mo ago

It’s okay to feel uneasy. Trust your instincts, but communicate openly with him about your feelings!

sentinelfierce70 • 2mo ago

It's totally okay to feel uneasy, especially with a past like yours. Trust your instincts but communicate openly. Share your feelings without accusation—honesty can strengthen your bond!

solar501 • 2mo ago

Have you had a direct conversation with your partner about how his relationship with this coworker makes you feel, beyond just mentioning your insecurities?

pulse611 • 2mo ago

It's natural to feel uneasy when past hurt lingers. Have an open chat with him about your feelings. 💕

dragonrider562 • 2mo ago

It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, and it's completely normal to feel uneasy in relationships, especially with past experiences. It's crucial to trust your feelings; they matter. Try to share your concerns with your partner openly but calmly, focusing on how you feel rather than accusing him. Communication is key! If he dismisses your feelings again, it might be worth considering how that impacts your trust and connection in the long run. You're not overreacting; your feelings are valid.

froststar85 • 2mo ago

Hey there! It’s totally normal to feel uneasy, especially with past experiences in mind. Trust your instincts but communicate openly with him about your feelings—just be calm and honest. You’ve got this!

caleboliver • 2mo ago

Have you had an open conversation with your partner about how his relationship with his coworker makes you feel, beyond just expressing concerns about cheating?

phoenix335 • 2mo ago

Have you had a calm, open conversation with your partner about how his interactions with this coworker make you feel?

firepirate54 • 2mo ago

It’s completely normal to feel uneasy, especially with past experiences shaping your feelings. Trust your instincts but also recognize they may stem from insecurity. Approach your partner gently—share your feelings without accusations. Focus on your need for reassurance and connection. Open communication is key. You deserve to feel secure, so if this continues to bother you, it’s worth a deeper conversation. You both need to feel heard and valued!

skycomet65 • 2mo ago

Your feelings are valid, and it's important to trust your instincts. While it might stem from insecurity, open communication is key. Share your feelings without accusations, and ask for reassurance. If he remains dismissive, it could signal deeper issues. Prioritize your emotional well-being and consider what you truly need in the relationship.