Relationship advices: Infidelity

I just discovered that my partner [22M] messaged someone without my knowledge five years ago. TL;DR

How would you approach this situation, considering it’s been five years since it happened? My boyfriend and I have been living together for three years and have been sharing expenses since 2022. Recently, I discovered that while we were together for just over a year, he messaged a random girl on Discord back in 2020, asking her for revealing pictures of her body. There was no conversation or compliments—just repeated requests for her to send specific images. He sent her pictures of himself, including a sexual image, in an attempt to persuade her to send something back. I checked the timeline to see if we were having any issues at that time, but we were in a good place; in fact, he was texting me while he was messaging her. I had invited him over that day, and we spent time together shortly after his conversations with her. I’ve never suspected him of cheating or flirty behavior, so I was completely blindsided by this revelation. If it had occurred in 2019, when we were going through a rough patch, it might not have shocked me as much. But finding out it happened in July 2020, when we were seemingly solid, made me feel sick. I know it wasn’t emotional cheating, but it still felt like a betrayal given that he was actively seeking explicit exchanges with someone else. The girl messaged him multiple times and he only replied five days later with a casual “What’s up?” indicating he didn’t feel guilty soon after. I confronted him today, and he expressed genuine remorse about his actions, recognizing their seriousness. However, I wanted an explanation, and he admitted he couldn’t provide one because he didn’t remember the details, suggesting it was “insignificant” to him at that time. It felt dismissive to hear him imply he was just trying to relieve himself and that it meant nothing. While we both agree to allow each other to watch porn, the act of going out of his way to exchange intimate pictures with a random person is a different matter. He tried to rationalize his behavior, attributing it to being toxic and young, but he wasn’t excusing it. He urged me not to view him differently because of this, but it’s tough for me to separate that moment from our relationship now, especially since it happened right before he came to see me. He mentioned wanting to keep the lines of communication open to find a resolution, but after hearing that he couldn't explain his actions, I felt it pointless to continue the conversation. While his visible remorse eased my feelings somewhat, I’m still at a loss for what to do next.

My girlfriend (19) has developed feelings for a security guard (32) she just met. Should I wait for her to make a decision?

Sure! Here’s a rewritten version of your text: --- This is a lengthy situation, so I'll do my best to summarize it. **Summary:** My 19-year-old girlfriend is feeling confused and is contemplating ending our 10-month relationship for a 32-year-old security guard with two kids whom she met just four days ago. I'm invested in her family and our future together. I believe in our communication and our ability to work through this. What should we do next? **Background:** My girlfriend and I have been together for 10 months. I had been single for quite a while before we started dating, and I didn't realize that she had just ended her first serious relationship three weeks prior. Up until recently, I’ve been very happy in our relationship; it feels mature and healthy. As both introverts, we spend quality time at home cooking and gaming. I’m deeply in love, and she expresses the same feelings. I was genuinely healing from my past traumas, including being cheated on multiple times, and she has been incredibly supportive and communicative because of this. I also understand that she has her history of abuse, so I strive to be patient and understanding. She appreciates my efforts, which gives me confidence that I'm supporting her well. Initially hesitant to commit, I grew more serious about our relationship when her family made me feel valued and included. She's been clear about wanting marriage and children, and I’m now considering those possibilities seriously. **Current Situation:** Everything changed when I returned from a four-day trip on Wednesday. My girlfriend had just started a new job at a vape store, working closing shifts, and expressed concern about walking home alone late at night. I provided her with mace for protection and indicated that I could pick her up or pay for an Uber if she felt unsafe. She began her new job on Friday, and by Saturday night, she was enjoying it. On Sunday, I shared a dream I had where she confessed her love for a fictional woman, and we ended up discussing the idea of an open relationship. I told her I wouldn't mind if she explored attractions to other women or potentially even participating in a threesome with someone we didn’t know. We agreed to be honest about any attractions to others. However, later that night, she called me in tears. After discussing her feelings about a flirty security guard at her job, she confessed that she felt guilty for finding him attractive, despite being in a committed relationship. She reiterated that she was attracted to his assertiveness and made it clear she valued our relationship but was conflicted. When he walked her home, she expressed to him that while she felt attracted to him, it felt wrong since she is with me. I reassured her of my love and support, emphasizing that I trust her judgment but was uncomfortable with anything happening between them, especially considering how new their relationship is. We agreed to pause the discussion until I returned home. When I got home, I found her in tears, troubled by her attraction to the security guard. During our conversation, she continually asked if I wanted to break up or take a break. I was taken aback, as I thought we were navigating this together. I reassured her of my lack of blame for her feelings; we even discussed experimenting with others, but I reiterated that my concern was specifically about this guard, given his age and their new acquaintance. Later that night, while with her, I made a choice I regretted and checked her phone out of curiosity. I found messages revealing her struggles and a detailed note in her app that poured out her thoughts and feelings. The note expressed her guilt over feeling attracted to the security guard and her realization that I treat her well, but she is drawn to different qualities in a partner. She shared her confusion about wanting to be single to discover herself while fearing she would regret leaving me. **Final Thoughts:** I'm at a crossroads. I see her as a potential life partner and want us to work through this. I want her to feel comfortable and fulfilled in our relationship and be open to exploring new experiences together. At the same time, I don’t want to feel like I need to control her for us to stay together. I also fear the consequences of opening our relationship fully. Thank you for listening. **Summary:** My 19-year-old girlfriend is contemplating ending our relationship for a 32-year-old security guard she just met days ago. I’m committed to our future, and I believe we can work through this confusion together. How should we move forward?

I [27F] feel lost and believe I have nothing left to contribute to my marriage with my husband [29M].

I recently went through an abortion, as I was uncertain about the paternity of the baby. I don’t know if my husband can have children, and the other person I was involved with wouldn’t want to raise a child with me. I haven’t confided in my husband about this, as I fear he would leave me for my infidelity. I’m struggling to find a way to move forward in our relationship when I feel so shattered inside. He’s unaware of what I’ve been through, so I can’t lean on him for support. He notices that I’m not putting in much effort into our relationship, but I feel empty and unable to give more. For years, I managed everything—paying our bills, keeping the house tidy, preparing meals, caring for our dogs, and handling grocery shopping. Yet, I was still expected to be available for intimacy whenever he desired. Now, he’s taken on some of those responsibilities and seeks praise for his efforts, wanting me to show my appreciation through affection and intimacy. I’m completely drained, though. We’ve been together for nine years and married for three, but things began to deteriorate toward the end of last year. How can I give when I feel so depleted? How can I reconnect with my husband?

My boyfriend has a serious addiction. What should I do next? [24F]

I recently discovered that my partner of three years has a serious addiction issue. I found out on New Year’s Eve when the girl he was last involved with texted him, sharing how much fun she had at a party and sending videos from a concert they attended. I've come to terms with his infidelity, and we've had many discussions about it, but it feels like he's still hiding things from me. I decided to go no contact because, despite his claims of being open and honest, I kept uncovering more secrets, and the weight of it all was overwhelming. The stress was affecting me so deeply that I felt like I was at my breaking point. In the weeks following our last argument, we attempted to research therapy options for both of us, but every time I mentioned it, he would change the topic or shower me with affection to distract me. I’ve always been understanding, which led to me falling into my people-pleasing tendencies — another reason I felt I had to leave. One positive step he took was sharing his location for tracking on “Find My,” but as soon as I left his house after our last heated discussion, he disabled it. Two weeks have passed, and I texted him a happy birthday message, expressing that I still care but need time to sort my feelings out. He responded that he understands and suggested we talk this weekend. However, I managed to access his Snapchat and discovered that he's planning to have dinner with yet another woman he started talking to right after I left. This dinner is set for the same day he wanted to talk. Now I’m faced with a dilemma: Should I confront him about this new situation, or simply move on? He expressed a willingness to seek therapy and had even looked up resources with me, but the lies have made it hard for me to trust him, which is why I stepped away before becoming too invested. I know this issue of mistrust will take time to heal, but I can’t help but question whether it’s worth it — should I throw my hands up and move on? I also have his mother’s contact information, and we’ve discussed the situation. Should I inform her about his date with this other woman, or handle it myself? Should I confront him again about what's going on or let it go? This decision is weighing heavily on me, and every time I think I have clarity, something new arises. I've found a therapist to help me, but my first appointment isn’t until next week. Should I let him go on this date to see what develops, or should I intervene and let everyone involved know what’s happening? This whole situation is incredibly frustrating!

My fiancé [30M] is uncertain about continuing our relationship [30F].

**Background:** We have spent six wonderful years together, creating a fulfilling life as a couple. While our relationship may not be perfect, it is still incredibly strong. We share deep love, effective communication, lots of fun, similar values, supportive friends, and families that get along. Our aspirations for the future align, and I often find myself admiring what we’ve built together. However, our sex life has become lackluster, which is particularly troubling for me, as I have a higher libido. I’m concerned that he might feel inadequate at times, and this may hinder our intimacy. Although we’ve been contemplating couples therapy for some time to address this issue and others, we haven’t taken the leap yet. We did read a book together that provided some temporary help. **Recent Issue:** I recently discovered that he has been emotionally cheating on me with another woman for the past three weeks, involving texting and calling. I found out after asking him directly, and while he initially tried to conceal it, he ultimately admitted the truth. The most concerning aspect is that he appears to be developing feelings for this other person. I immediately insisted that he sever ties with her, which he did, and we also canceled a planned trip the following day. I believe everyone makes mistakes, and I’m generally understanding about the complexities of attraction. It’s normal to occasionally look elsewhere, as long as those feelings are redirected promptly. Unfortunately, he allowed this interaction to extend for too long and now seems emotionally invested. He is currently feeling shaken and is questioning everything about our relationship. He’s uncertain if he wants to continue our journey together. I’m pressuring him to make a decision, yet he remains unsure, which is incredibly frustrating for me. The prospect of a future without him fills me with sadness, as I feel he is jeopardizing the beautiful life we’ve created together. **Questions:** 1) Is it possible to improve a dull sex life? He is feeling hopeless, and I’m seeking quick resources to show him that improvement is achievable. 2) Does this situation signify that our relationship is hopeless, given his uncertainty? 3) If there’s still hope, what steps can we take to begin mending this situation?

How can I [20M] avoid feeling guilty about finding someone else attractive, even though I don't have any deeper feelings for them while I'm in a relationship?

Here's a revised version of your text: "I experienced sexual coercion from someone else when I was 15 and in a relationship, and since then, I've become hyper-vigilant about any feelings of infidelity or the fear that I might cheat again. Whenever I'm in a class or similar environment and I notice an attractive person, I immediately feel a wave of guilt and perceive it as an impure act. Is there a way to manage these feelings and make them less burdensome? My partner (20NB) has reassured me that these feelings are normal, but I still find myself feeling guilty."

My boyfriend [30M] has been active on OnlyFans since the start of our three-year relationship, and I [28F] just discovered this.

My boyfriend (30) and I (28) have been together for three years, and I recently discovered that he’s been using OnlyFans since the start of our relationship. While he doesn't have subscriptions, he pays women individually for videos or photos and engages in dirty talk. I'm not entirely sure whether I'm upset about what he's doing or just that he's been keeping it a secret from me. I consider myself open-minded and believe that porn and solo activities are healthy, but it feels like hiding this from me crosses a line into cheating.

My girlfriend, who is 18, mentioned to me that she is interested in having a threesome.

I've been through some serious issues with infidelity in the past, and she’s aware of that. I usually don't have the desire for sexual activities, which makes me worry that if I can't meet those needs consistently, she might seek that elsewhere. She has reassured me many times, and I’m starting to trust her. However, when she randomly brought up the idea of a threesome, I felt uneasy. The last time someone mentioned that to me, they ended up cheating because they didn’t feel fulfilled. It’s triggering old memories, and even though she’s said she doesn’t want that anymore because I’m uncomfortable, it reminds me of what my ex did—she promised the same and still went ahead. I’m at a loss about what to do. Right now, she's texting me to apologize, but I’m unsure how to respond. How should I handle this situation?

What should I do as an 18-year-old female? Is it a good idea to look at my boyfriend's phone, who is 19?

Hey everyone, my boyfriend (19M) and I have been together for three years, but he cheated on me (18F) in the past. We broke up, and after some time apart, we saw enough progress to give our relationship another chance. Since then, we've been happily dating for over a year without any repeat incidents. However, I've recently been feeling a strong urge to check his messages, something I've never done before. Should I go ahead and do it?

What should I do if my girlfriend of six years kisses another girl?

**For some background**, I met her in middle school, and we began dating back then. Our relationship ended toward the end of her senior year, but about a year ago, we rekindled our romance and became stronger than ever. I initially moved into her family home, and we later lived together in our own place for about four months. However, she struggled to regain financial stability, which led her to return to her family, while I moved back in with mine so we could save money and take things slower. Just today, she revealed to me that she has been drinking more often recently, something she had kept hidden from me due to her past struggles with substances. She mentioned an incident at work where she was "a little tipsy" with a female coworker in a private area. This coworker made a move and kissed her, and she admitted that she didn’t pull away. After the kiss, she claimed she needed to go back to work and hasn’t seen the coworker since. She only disclosed this information after I pressed her about another situation she mentioned that didn't add up, and it all came out. She started crying and expressed thoughts like, "You don't deserve this," and "I hate cheaters. I'm such a jerk for doing this to you." Now, I'm left feeling unsure about how to move forward. Our relationship is deeply intertwined; she’s essentially my childhood friend, and we’ve endured a lot of trauma together, which has strengthened our bond. My feelings for her are profound, shaped by years of knowing her intimately from ages 12 to 20. However, I've also had multiple conversations with her about the dangers of losing herself to substances. I've made it clear that I’m not sure I can stay in a relationship with someone who struggles with that and urged her to communicate anything she’s going through so we can work through it together. This is the third time she’s fallen into this situation, and I’m left wondering what could happen next and how best to handle everything.

My girlfriend [20F] wants to end our relationship so she can deepen her spiritual connection with God.

A couple of months ago, I met a girl at an Amazon Warehouse, and she quickly became one of the sweetest people I've ever encountered. We chatted for a few weeks before I got to know her friends, which included another guy. Initially, I viewed her only as a friend, but as we spent more time hanging out and visiting each other’s homes, my feelings started to change. One evening, while we were having dinner and enjoying a few drinks, she unexpectedly began feeding me popcorn, and I reciprocated. That moment seemed to ignite something between us. However, the next day she revealed for the first time that she had a boyfriend. To make a long story short, she and her boyfriend were facing challenges in their relationship, and she ultimately decided to end things with him and be with me instead. Now, though, she often expresses feelings of guilt and that she hasn’t had enough time to heal. It’s causing her distress in her spiritual life, and she frequently talks about wanting to leave me. I genuinely care for her—I treat her well, compliment her daily, give her flowers, and make sure she has what she needs. However, I’m puzzled about why she seems willing to give up on our relationship without trying to work through things. Just last night, we spent time together, and it felt perfect, even in more intimate moments. Still, she insists that she needs to focus on her relationship with God and make the right choices. I’ve fallen deeply in love with her, so I'm unsure what to do next. Should I consider giving her space?

Looking for some advice: I'm a 23-year-old female and my boyfriend is 22.

My boyfriend (22M) admitted that he sexted a random girl and sent her some photos a few months ago, during a time when we weren't communicating regularly and weren't able to spend much time together. Now that he's confessed, he wants to break up, believing that what he did is unforgivable. I was hoping to give our relationship a second chance and some time to heal, but he feels too guilty to continue and thinks he wouldn't be able to act normally around me. He doesn’t even see a future for us. What should I do?

My partner was unfaithful to me five months ago. I'm [M:23] and they are [M:30].

Hello everyone, I don't usually turn to Reddit for advice, but this is something I feel uncomfortable discussing with people in my personal life. I'm a gay man in a relationship with my partner since September 2021. Over these three years, we've faced many challenges and tough times together. My partner is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for about four months. I have to say that things have been going really well lately; he has completely transformed his old habits and is actively addressing his mental health. However, there was a period of about nine months to a year when alcohol misuse led to many arguments between us, almost pushing us to the point of separation. About five months ago, after a major argument about his binge drinking, he confessed that he had hooked up with someone else during a blackout as a misguided way to "get back at me." I only discovered this after finding an old STD test, which raised my suspicions since we've always been clean. He expresses deep shame and regret, insisting he would never have acted this way when sober, but that doesn't change what happened. I can't fully articulate the anger, sadness, and sense of betrayal I'm feeling right now. I'm reaching out to you all with a question: What should I do next? I know ultimately, the decision is mine, but I'm hoping someone who has gone through a similar experience might offer some insight. Thank you all for your support.

My husband, who is 37, sent me a text that made me feel nauseous after discovering his online infidelity.

After discovering my husband on Facebook dating through his phone, I stumbled upon many concerning conversations. There were various online exchanges spanning years with different women. Ironically, I didn't want to invade his privacy by going through direct messages with his friends and family, so I used the search function in messages to look for specific keywords. When I searched for "cheated," I found this exchange: Husband: Haha yeah, I've never cheated, but if I were traveling, I bet I would. My wife would probably even forgive me for it. Did your wife ever find out? Husband's male colleague: Never. Husband: It's better that way. When I confronted my husband about crossing boundaries and his virtual infidelity (however you want to label it—seeking out women on dating apps while married), he initially downplayed the significance of his actions. However, within a day, he changed his stance, expressing remorse and all the typical reactions of someone who first denied and minimized the hurt they caused. I realize I'm rambling, but this message was sent before he took multiple solo trips, and he insists he has never physically cheated. I can't shake the feeling of being irrational for analyzing everything, but I’ve been with this man for nearly 20 years, and we share four children. What are your thoughts?

My husband, who is 32, cheated on me. If I decide to stay, would that be the wrong choice?

To make a long story short, I discovered he had been smoking weed and drinking without my knowledge. I got him into rehab, and while looking through his phone, I found evidence that he had cheated on me with a coworker. I had already printed out the divorce papers and was prepared to file at the courthouse. However, he appears to be making an effort to repair our relationship and wants to work on our marriage. I'm torn about whether to give him a second chance. Has anyone stayed in a marriage after infidelity, and did it endure? I understand the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater," but I'm curious if this marriage is worth saving and if there's a chance he won't betray my trust again. We share a daughter who is 4, along with a dog and a cat. With him in rehab, I've already lost his income and can't cover all the bills on my own. If I choose to leave, I worry about my ability to provide financially for our daughter and take care of our pets. I still love him and don't want to go through a divorce. At the same time, I'm afraid of the possibility of being hurt again by staying with him.

[45M] Office flirt [45F] or is there something deeper?

I have been working closely with a female colleague in the same office for over five years. We've shared lunches and traveled for work together, and while we had a good working relationship, I never gave it much thought. She’s married with two small children, and I’m in a relationship myself. At the last Christmas party, I had to travel for work. Since she was involved in organizing the event, I apologized in advance for my absence before the festivities began. She responded by saying not to worry, suggesting that there were better places for the two of us to meet. I found it strange but playfully said I might take her up on that invite someday. Last week was my final day at the company. We exchanged friendly words, and while she attempted to hug me, I opted for a handshake instead. She then asked when we could meet again and suggested visiting me at my new workplace. I inquired if her husband would be okay with it, and she assured me she would maintain a professional distance. Since I started my new job, she has been texting me with basic administrative questions—ones I assumed she already knew the answers to, given that she manages the project. I wonder if she’s trying to keep the lines of communication open. Honestly, the comment she made at the Christmas party shifted my perspective on our relationship and made me question whether there was an underlying spark I hadn’t recognized. I’m content with my current situation, but I don’t know much about hers. What does the community think? Am I overanalyzing this, or is she genuinely seeking something more?

I just discovered that my [m30] boyfriend has been unfaithful to me [f26].

I'm feeling really lost and unsure of what to do, as the title suggests. My partner and I have been together for about six years, and our relationship has been wonderful—we were even planning to get engaged soon. For a long time, we were in a long-distance relationship, only able to see each other twice a year. Thankfully, we closed the distance and have been living together for about a year now, which has been fantastic. However, today I stumbled upon a text on his phone from a girl I didn't recognize, and it instantly filled me with a sense of dread. The message itself seemed innocent, but my gut told me something was off, so I confronted him. Eventually, he admitted to having a one-night stand with this girl over a year ago, before we closed the distance. Apparently, she reached out to him again while in town, but he claimed he turned her down. He took full responsibility, explaining that they met at a bar during his vacation, and things got out of hand when he was very drunk. He expressed deep guilt afterward and hadn’t contacted her until her recent message. He insists he takes full responsibility and completely respects whatever decision I make moving forward, but I’m feeling so conflicted. I used to think that girls who forgive their partners for cheating were making a mistake, but now I’m not so sure. He has promised to do everything he can to regain my trust if I can find it in my heart to forgive him, and he still wants to marry me. Would it be foolish to forgive him? I can’t help but think that if I break up with him over what may have been a one-time mistake during our long-distance phase, I could be throwing away a future with a great guy. Yet, I worry that if I take him back, not only might he cheat again, but I may never regain the trust we once had. I truly love him, and I believe he loves me too, but this is a significant breach of trust. Has anyone experienced something similar? I know I’ll likely get a lot of “just break up with him” comments, and I understand that perspective, as I would have felt the same way before being in this situation. However, I’m genuinely at a loss right now.

My girlfriend [18F] is considering being unfaithful to me [19M] because she feels "undervalued."

One night, she called me and confessed that she had been contemplating infidelity for some time. Being in college, I get that there are other guys around, but I initially brushed it off. However, when she brought it up again, I became genuinely concerned and asked her why. She explained that she feels unappreciated because I hadn't taken Valentine's Day off for the last two years and hadn’t given her any meaningful gifts. Deep down, I know she cares about me, but I'm confused about what she really means by her comments. I’ve been buying her things, helping with her bills here and there, taking her to arcades, and dining out together, yet she shared those feelings with me so abruptly. I'm doing my best to remain calm and not raise my voice, but it feels like everything I've done for her over the years is being dismissed. I know I’m not perfect, but it’s disheartening to hear her speak as if she’s above it all. It’s all incredibly stressful with everything happening in my life right now. I’m genuinely trying my best every day, and her words really weigh me down. I don’t want to play the victim, but I can’t shake the thought that one day she might forget about me and end up with someone else. This is my first post here, and I’m still trying to adjust to everything going on in my life. I'm seeking advice on how to handle this situation because I honestly don't know how to respond when my partner comes to me with something like this. Any help would be appreciated.

[18M] My 18F girlfriend discovered that I was watching porn. How should I handle this situation?

What should I do? We established boundaries months ago, but I slipped up then and continue to struggle now. We agreed that this behavior constituted cheating, and regardless of the frequency, I broke those boundaries. She feels like I've betrayed her trust, has noticed my wandering eyes, and feels hurt. Despite this, she knows I love and care for her. It's been about two weeks since she discovered what I was doing. When I got caught, I tried to justify my actions and sought sympathy, but I eventually recognized my mistakes, acknowledged that I was wrong, and admitted that I messed up. How can I comfort her? I want her to see that I've changed, but rebuilding trust is challenging since I severely damaged it. I'm not looking for quick fixes; I understand this will take time. I've wanted to stop for over a year, and I've made progress, but she caught me during a difficult moment. I have stopped now and am committed to never repeating my mistakes, except for looking at pictures or videos of her. She's my first serious relationship and my first love. I've grown and improved since we met, and she recognizes that, but overcoming this particular issue has been tougher for me. Having unrestricted internet access as a kid made it even more difficult. I’m not seeking advice on how to stop; rather, I'm looking for guidance on how to move forward and heal our relationship from this point onward.

I'm a 21-year-old guy, and I have a feeling that my relationship with my 20-year-old girlfriend might be coming to an end soon.

I'm a 21-year-old guy, and I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend, who is 20, for nearly five years—our anniversary is on March 1st, 2025. We've had our share of ups and downs, but I’m writing this because I've made some serious mistakes. I've struggled with liking other girls’ posts and looking at things I shouldn’t behind my girlfriend's back, getting caught multiple times in the process. I know I shouldn’t be the one asking for advice, especially since I’ve hurt her and acted like a total jerk. It’s confusing because I still love her deeply. Back in November 2024, she found out I was liking another girl's posts, and things have felt different between us ever since. She’s started to drift away and is now seeing a guy friend who clearly has feelings for her. I’m aware of this because we still communicate reasonably well. I've sincerely apologized to her and expressed that I don’t want to give up on our relationship; I want to fight to keep our love alive. I was too scared to let her go when I thought it would be best for both of us. Now that I realize she’s the one for me, I want to change and hold on to her. She tells me she feels numb now and doesn’t have feelings for her guy friend, yet she admits she still loves me—after all, it’s hard to dismiss four years together. I’m doing everything I can to win her back; I talk to her, compliment her, take her out on dates, buy her food and flowers. We even slept together recently, but she said it felt wrong. When we're together, I feel like I'm becoming the best friend and boyfriend she needs again. However, when we're apart and I call her, she often seems disinterested and makes excuses to end the conversation. I can’t shake the fear that karma is coming back to haunt me and that she might be moving on, even if she doesn’t recognize it yet. I know I deserve this. What should I do next?

I'm a 24-year-old female in a relationship with a 25-year-old male.

I'm currently in a relationship with my fiancé, and we have a one-year-old together. He seemed perfect, and I never suspected he would cheat. However, over the past year, we’ve grown apart, and I've noticed a change in his behavior. His family has tried to interfere in our relationship because they were taking money from him and didn't want me to find out. He’s never had a relationship last this long or moved out of his parents’ house until now. He works hard, keeps long hours, and earns a good income. Unfortunately, his family has been undermining me, making negative remarks, as they managed his finances without teaching him about them, which held him back. Recently, I’ve caught him in several lies, and I felt a noticeable change in his attitude. I’ve also been dealing with postpartum issues and insecurities. When I checked his phone, I discovered dating site links on his Instagram. I deleted those, but I suspect his sister has put spyware on both our phones. I later found some other concerning signs, including a search he made at a gas station about how to pause Life 360 location sharing. Even during my single years, I rarely used dating apps, except for Tinder, but now it looks like he’s been on some casual hookup sites and Reddit. I also found evidence that someone requested to delete his information from Google. I have access to his emails and phone, but it appears he’s been hiding things using platforms like GitHub and Gemini. If anyone has advice on how to navigate this situation, I would really appreciate it. I don’t want to lose my family, but I need to know the truth, especially since he claims it’s just his sister involved.

[25/F] / [25/M] Losing it over my partner's past situation - called him at 1 AM last night.

I [25F] and my partner [25M] have been in a relationship for two years now. (I hope this remains a judgment-free space.) I’m not usually one to share my relationship problems with friends or family. However, last night, I felt compelled to check his phone — a move I'm typically against. I was anxious the entire time, but curiosity got the better of me. I discovered recent exchanges between him and another person, discussing sports and occasionally flirting. As I scrolled up, I stumbled upon a particularly unsettling conversation from November of last year, where they met up with a mutual friend after his work. He had told me he was out with the guys that day. Honestly, until now, I didn't question his story; I fully trusted him. I haven't been able to sleep since discovering this. So, I'm reaching out for advice: should I confront him about what I found and express my concerns, or should I try to brush it off and convince myself it’s not a big deal? (For context: they never truly "dated," just had fun together, and he wasn't interested in a serious commitment when she wanted one. He and I were friends for a long time before we started dating, and I was aware of their casual situation.)

What's the best way for me, a 22-year-old female, to locate this 30-year-old man who cheated on me?

I recently discovered that the guy I’ve been communicating with is actually married. How can I uncover his real name given this situation? I've been chatting with him for a while, and we became quite close despite living far apart and never having met in person. We shared texts, calls, and photos, but I started to notice some inconsistencies. Eventually, he confessed that he has a wife and then deleted all his social media accounts. I feel compelled to find this woman, as she truly deserves better. I suspect that he hasn't revealed his real name to me, and even if he did, I only know his first name. I have a few pictures of him, but I’ve tried several reverse image search tools with no success. One site did show me a LinkedIn profile picture, but accessing further details requires payment in bitcoin. What should I do to obtain more information about him?

My partner, a 28-year-old male, has cheated on me twice during our six-year relationship. I'm a 28-year-old female.

Is it really possible to fully forgive someone who has betrayed your trust, or does that relationship change forever? He [28M] cheated on me while we were dating for a year, and now, five years later (that I know of), it's happened again. Initially, I forgave him and honestly forgot about it over the years. Our lives are so interconnected; I cut ties with him a few months ago, but the aftermath is still lingering, and the dating scene feels pretty bleak right now. I [28F] don’t necessarily miss him, but I do miss his family, and our friendship circles have changed drastically. My whole routine and life feel unsettled. I can't even go to my running club without running into him. How do you begin to start anew?

I'm a 25-year-old male, and my friend, who is also 25 and female, has been unfaithful. I'm unsure about how to handle this situation.

I have a friend, a 25-year-old woman, who is currently in what appears to be a serious relationship. However, she has been emotionally cheating on her partner for six months with someone she met online, convincing herself that this person is "the one." Her partner remains unaware of this betrayal. It's clear that she has commitment issues. This is the third instance I've witnessed her being unfaithful, although each time has involved different people. It's a troubling pattern of disloyalty. From the outside, especially on social media, they seem deeply in love and committed to each other. They often discuss marriage and publicly express admiration for one another in various little ways. Yet, throughout this, my friend has been secretly engaging with someone online. I've seen the messages—she's sent explicit texts, flirts, and even mentioned marriage to this other person, expressing a desire for them to be together instead. And her partner has no idea about any of it. I won’t go into too much detail, but she has only recently decided to stop engaging with this person online. I suspect it's because she's made a choice to commit to her current partner and feels she doesn’t have space for anything else. However, does the history of her infidelity not taint her desire for a fresh start? How can she claim to love someone so deeply while betraying them in such a profound way? I’m curious about what others think regarding this situation. Should I inform her partner, even though my friend has seemingly moved on? The deception weighs heavily on me, especially knowing what her partner is oblivious to. Additionally, do you believe their relationship is genuine? It’s perplexing how someone can profess love while acting so inconsiderately regarding loyalty. If she truly loves her partner, how could she engage in such behavior? And can a relationship truly survive after crossing these kinds of boundaries?

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