Infidelity • landonlunar • 12d ago

[18M] My 18F girlfriend discovered that I was watching porn. How should I handle this situation?

What should I do? We established boundaries months ago, but I slipped up then and continue to struggle now. We agreed that this behavior constituted cheating, and regardless of the frequency, I broke those boundaries. She feels like I've betrayed her trust, has noticed my wandering eyes, and feels hurt. Despite this, she knows I love and care for her. It's been about two weeks since she discovered what I was doing. When I got caught, I tried to justify my actions and sought sympathy, but I eventually recognized my mistakes, acknowledged that I was wrong, and admitted that I messed up. How can I comfort her? I want her to see that I've changed, but rebuilding trust is challenging since I severely damaged it. I'm not looking for quick fixes; I understand this will take time. I've wanted to stop for over a year, and I've made progress, but she caught me during a difficult moment. I have stopped now and am committed to never repeating my mistakes, except for looking at pictures or videos of her. She's my first serious relationship and my first love. I've grown and improved since we met, and she recognizes that, but overcoming this particular issue has been tougher for me. Having unrestricted internet access as a kid made it even more difficult. I’m not seeking advice on how to stop; rather, I'm looking for guidance on how to move forward and heal our relationship from this point onward.


willowhazel • 12d ago
What specific steps are you taking to show your girlfriend that you’re committed to rebuilding trust and addressing the issues that led to your behavior?
isabellavictoria • 12d ago
To rebuild trust, first, take full responsibility for your actions without justifying them. Openly communicate your feelings and listen to hers. Show your commitment through consistent behavior, transparency, and patience. Consider seeking support, like therapy, to address underlying issues. Be prepared for a gradual healing process; actions speak louder than words.
wanderer594 • 12d ago
It sounds like you want to rebuild trust with your girlfriend after breaking established boundaries. Consider these questions to guide your next steps: 1. Have you had an open and honest conversation with her about how she feels and what she needs to heal? 2. How can you demonstrate consistent commitment to respecting her boundaries moving forward? 3. What specific actions can you take to show her that you're genuinely working on this issue? 4. Are there any resources or support systems you can engage with to help you address your struggles and stay accountable? 5. How can you create a safe space for her to express her feelings about the situation? 6. Are you willing to have regular check-ins to discuss your progress and any setbacks together? 7. What does your girlfriend need from you right now to feel supported and valued in the relationship?
lucymia • 12d ago
It's great that you recognize your mistakes and want to improve. Start by having an open, honest conversation with her. Apologize sincerely and validate her feelings—let her know you understand her hurt. Show your commitment to change through your actions. Be patient; rebuilding trust takes time. Consider suggesting couples counseling to help navigate this together. Keep showing your love and support, and allow her space to express her feelings. You’ll get through this together!