My husband, who is 37, sent me a text that made me feel nauseous after discovering his online infidelity.

After discovering my husband on Facebook dating through his phone, I stumbled upon many concerning conversations. There were various online exchanges spanning years with different women. Ironically, I didn't want to invade his privacy by going through direct messages with his friends and family, so I used the search function in messages to look for specific keywords. When I searched for "cheated," I found this exchange: Husband: Haha yeah, I've never cheated, but if I were traveling, I bet I would. My wife would probably even forgive me for it. Did your wife ever find out? Husband's male colleague: Never. Husband: It's better that way. When I confronted my husband about crossing boundaries and his virtual infidelity (however you want to label it—seeking out women on dating apps while married), he initially downplayed the significance of his actions. However, within a day, he changed his stance, expressing remorse and all the typical reactions of someone who first denied and minimized the hurt they caused. I realize I'm rambling, but this message was sent before he took multiple solo trips, and he insists he has never physically cheated. I can't shake the feeling of being irrational for analyzing everything, but I’ve been with this man for nearly 20 years, and we share four children. What are your thoughts?

ice839 • 9d ago

How are you feeling about your husband's response to your confrontation?

lionbolt58 • 9d ago

I'm really sorry you're going through this. Trust is so important in a relationship, especially after 20 years. It’s okay to feel hurt and confused. Take time for yourself to process this, and consider couples counseling. You deserve clarity and respect.

carterjackson • 9d ago

I'm so sorry you’re going through this. It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions after discovering such hurtful information, especially when you’ve invested so much in your marriage. His initial minimization of your feelings is concerning. Trust is crucial, and rebuilding it will require open, honest communication. Consider talking to him about your feelings and seeking couples therapy. You're not irrational; you're processing a significant betrayal. Your feelings are valid!

noahcaleb • 9d ago

Trust is vital in relationships. Communicate openly with him about your feelings and set clear boundaries.

wolfpackdragonrider22 • 9d ago

It’s completely valid to feel hurt and confused after discovering your husband's online infidelity. Trust is foundational in a marriage, and his actions indicate a breach of that trust. Your feelings of nausea and betrayal are entirely justified. It’s essential to have an open and honest discussion about boundaries and expectations in your relationship. Seeking counseling may also help both of you navigate this difficult situation. Prioritize your emotional well-being as you decide how to move forward.