Should I Inform My Wife About Her Father's Inappropriate Online Behavior?
My wife and I have been married for about a decade, having dated for several years before that. When her father drinks, he can be quite unpleasant. Despite this, my wife holds him in high esteem and considers him a man of integrity. Recently, during a discussion about why men can be jerks, she pointed to her father as an example of a good man who was "raised right." Over time, I've found it increasingly difficult to be around him for a number of reasons. One incident particularly stands out when he drunkenly called me an asshole, despite my being completely civil. He misinterpreted my comments as sarcasm due to his intoxication. I was on the verge of losing my temper, but my wife intervened, and he ended up leaving. This isn't the first time he's been disrespectful, and although I've tried to keep the peace for my wife's sake, I've reached my limit. Another reason for my disdain goes back about 20 years to when I was dating her. Online gaming was just becoming popular, and I occasionally used their family computer with their permission. One day, I noticed an online game her father had left open, where he was engaged in a chat that was shockingly inappropriate. He was sending sexual messages to women, asking them graphic questions about their bodies and discussing what he wanted to do with them. I've kept this information from my wife to avoid conflict, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to see her view him as innocent while carrying this knowledge. I'm not looking to confront him or his wife about it, even though I would like to, but I wish my wife could see her father for who he really is. *So, should I bring up his troubling past with my wife?* As a side note, I saved images of the chat as evidence, in case it ever becomes necessary to show her the truth. They've been on my computer for about 15 years now, so I have proof if she doubts my honesty. EDIT: Regarding why I haven't mentioned this before, I've tried to let it slide, but it occasionally resurfaces in my mind. Just a few days ago, we had a conversation that led her to ask about my feelings toward her family. She picked up on my discomfort around them. While I like the rest of her family, I brought up that incident where her father called me an asshole. Since then, I've regretted not revealing the deeper reasons for my lack of respect for him, particularly that earlier story.