Filipina woman (35) married to an American man (36). Is anyone experiencing challenges due to cultural differences?
Subject: Seeking Advice on a Difficult Family Situation Hi, I am an only child and the only close family I have is my mother, who is 52 and had me when she was quite young. Despite the challenges of growing up in poverty, my mother made countless sacrifices to ensure I could attend college. Now, I am living in the USA and working as a nurse. Before I got married, I initiated the process for my mother to migrate here. Last year, her petition was approved, and she has since moved in with my husband and me. In Filipino culture, it is common for children to care for their parents, especially when they have made significant sacrifices for them. This sense of responsibility is why I decided to petition for my mother's immigration. A few years ago, she had a stroke, and I wanted her to have access to better care. Now that my mother is living with us, I’ve noticed that my husband seems unhappy about it. He often excludes her from activities and expects her to cater to him instead of making an effort to welcome her. My mother has expressed feeling like a burden and unwelcome in our home, which deeply saddens me. My husband questions my decision to bring her here, and this feels unfair to me. I have embraced and loved his son as my own, yet I don't receive the same acceptance for my mother. I am the primary financial provider for our family and have never asked my husband for financial support for my mom. Recently, he told me I shouldn't have married if my priority was caring for my mother. This hurts because I believed that love means caring for each other's families. It’s incredibly challenging to be caught between two people I care about—my mother, who has sacrificed so much for me, and my husband, who seems to struggle with understanding what family means. I’m feeling overwhelmed by this situation and would appreciate any advice or insights you might have. Thank you.