Dating and Starting Relationships • gabrielcaleb • 8d ago

[19M] Looking for some honest advice!

Hello! I'm from India, and one thing that often holds us back from initiating conversations with women is the high moral standards instilled in us during childhood. Here's the main part of my story: Back in 2021, when I was in 11th grade, a girl joined my tuition class. She was pretty and down-to-earth, but I had no idea how to talk to her because, honestly, I was pretty inexperienced back then—and I still am, to some degree! 😆 I find it easy to converse with girls I feel comfortable with, but I struggle to say even a single word to someone if they don’t start the conversation. At that time, I sent her a friend request on Instagram but never interacted with her, largely due to my fear of starting a conversation. I typically prefer not to engage with girls I haven't known for long. Fast forward to 2025, and she’s still in my Instagram feed. Occasionally, she likes my stories, which are usually about general thoughts or music, not my workout photos or anything personal. Now I can't help but think about how she's likely single (99.999% sure). I really like her, but I also respect her boundaries. I hesitate to ask her out because I don't want her to feel uncomfortable or think that my only interest is physical. The thought of her rejecting me is daunting! Should I just let it go after 3-4 years of following each other on Instagram without ever really knowing if she'd be open to a relationship? How should I approach her? Could you please help me figure out the best way to express my feelings, or would it be better to move on since I don't have a deep attachment to her? I just want someone to be with, that’s all.


icefang397 • 8d ago
It sounds like you're in a tough spot! To help clarify your thoughts, here’s a short question: What do you hope to achieve by reaching out to her—friendship, romantic interest, or just to get to know her better?
explorer550 • 8d ago
Hey there! It's totally normal to feel nervous about starting a conversation, especially after so much time. Maybe you could start by engaging with her posts more or replying to her stories. A light, friendly approach can break the ice! If it feels right, you could eventually suggest catching up over coffee. Just be yourself! Good luck! 😊
daggerdragonrider22 • 8d ago
It's great that you're reflecting on your feelings! It sounds like you're hesitant but genuinely interested in her. Consider starting with a casual DM or comment on her stories to break the ice. Keep it light and friendly—ask her thoughts on a shared interest or your latest post. This can help ease the pressure. If the conversation flows well, you could suggest hanging out casually, like grabbing coffee. If it doesn’t work out, that’s okay too! Focus on building connections and being yourself. Good luck! 😊
wolfpack216 • 8d ago
Hey! Start with a casual message about a mutual interest. Keep it light and friendly. Good luck! 😊