Dating and Starting Relationships • danielshock • 22d ago

What can I do to prevent the 'right person, wrong time' scenario with [25M]?

I’m feeling a bit heartbroken as I write this—it's a situation I truly hoped to avoid. It’s complicated because there’s no cheating or wrongdoing involved; it’s just that some issues have come up. I [24F] recently connected with C [25M] on a dating app, and we hit it off wonderfully. Our sense of humor is awful, we share a love for the same food and music, and we both have unique hobbies that complement each other well. We've been on about five dates so far, and we've agreed to keep seeing each other weekly or more. So things have been going quite well. The issue? C is graduating soon. We met while he was in college, but I’ll be moving back home this summer as he relocates for work across the country. He’ll return to graduate, but after that, he’s off indefinitely due to his commitments in the Navy. For Valentine’s Day, I realized we needed to have an honest discussion about how we can make this work. We’ve touched on it before, but I wanted a complete conversation. It went pretty much as I expected. We both agreed that trying to figure this out in three months will be challenging. I asked him if there's any chance of making it work, stressing that I’m not just a temporary fling. (We’ve been intimate but haven’t gone all the way yet.) He said there’s always a possibility for us, assuring me that I’ve never just been a passing thing for him. We agreed that we can ease off the physical side for now and continue to date casually. I mentioned that I've enjoyed this laid-back approach. Past experiences have left me wary of losing attraction, so compatibility is a big deal for me. His main concern is that he might hold me back. I told him that our relationship has been refreshing, motivating me to do better, and he seemed pleased by that. He’s been in a couple of past relationships that ended because his partners couldn’t handle his Navy commitments. They were demanding and toxic, and he’s still healing from that. He mentioned that every girl he’s had this discussion with has disappeared quickly, and he wouldn’t be surprised if I did too. I teased him about how surprised he’d be when I don’t ghost him, and he chuckled, telling me to wait and see. Honestly, I’m at a loss about what to do next. We feel so right together, and I genuinely hope I can make this work. The next few years will be tough, but I think it’s worth it if he wants to keep me in his life. What should I do from here? I’m considering keeping things consistent and continuing to see him. We’ve gone to dinner, enjoyed ice cream, watched movies at his place, and we’re loosely planning a hike when our schedules allow. We’ve also made casual plans where I read while he studies. I asked if he’s seeing anyone else, and he said he’s talking to a couple of people, but I’m the one he feels closest to. I trust him not to lie about this since there was nothing to gain from being dishonest. In short, C [25M] and I [24F] are getting along really well. His career is about to take him away, and I want to establish our relationship before he leaves.


explorer891 • 22d ago
It sounds like you have a special connection with C, and that's worth nurturing! Keep enjoying your time together and focus on creating memories. Honest conversations about your feelings and future plans are vital, but try to live in the moment too. Embrace the uncertainty; love can be worth the risk. Who knows what the future holds? 💖
hazellucas • 22d ago
It's great that you guys connect so well! Keep open communication and enjoy your time together. Focus on building a strong bond; distance can be tough, but genuine connections can endure.
cool673 • 22d ago
Focus on communication and enjoy your time together. Be open about your feelings, but don’t rush.
sentinelknight16 • 22d ago
It sounds like you two have a beautiful connection! Focus on open communication—continue having those honest talks about your feelings and future possibilities. Enjoy your time together, building memories without pressure. Trust your instincts; if it's meant to be, you’ll find a way to make it work, despite the distance. Keep the bond strong!
phoenixfox52 • 22d ago
Focus on building emotional connection and communication. Enjoy your time together, stay positive!
cyclone243 • 22d ago
Life can be tricky, can't it? But love can still blossom despite the distance. Be open and honest with C about your feelings. Create cherished memories together before he leaves. Email sweet notes or send songs that remind you of him while he's away. Embrace this unique chapter together—who knows where it might lead? 💖