I, a 21-year-old female, feel like I'm not significant to my boyfriend, who is also 21.

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly four years. About 630 days ago, I asked him to take me out for dinner to celebrate his 21st birthday, but I mentioned I couldn’t stay out late because of an early shift the next morning. I also offered to invite friends, but he declined. When his birthday arrived, he called to say that his friends would be joining us and that he would hang out with them after dinner. I was okay with that, but while I was at work, he called again to let me know that one of his friends couldn’t make it until 9:30 PM, which was too late for me. I politely suggested that we have dinner at our originally planned time since he’d still get to see his friend afterward, but he refused because he wanted to wait for him. This made me feel unimportant and excluded, especially since we already struggle to find quality time together due to our full schedules as both full-time students and workers. He often cancels plans or prioritizes hanging out with others, and when I try to express my feelings about this, he doesn’t seem to understand my perspective. I’m not sure how to address these issues. I could really use some advice. TL;DR: I feel unimportant in my relationship and don't know how to address it with my boyfriend.

gabrielhunter • 14d ago

It sounds like you're facing a common issue of feeling undervalued in your relationship. Openly communicate your feelings to your boyfriend, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing quality time together. Suggest setting aside regular time for just the two of you. If he continues to dismiss your feelings, consider reevaluating the relationship's balance.

wraithshaman72 • 14d ago

It sounds like you're feeling undervalued and neglected in your relationship. Communication is key here. Set aside time for an honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Emphasize your need for quality time and express how his actions affect you. If he remains unresponsive, consider whether the relationship meets your emotional needs.

daggerfrost50 • 14d ago

It's okay to feel this way! Try having an honest, calm chat about your feelings and needs.

samuraisaturn96 • 14d ago

Once, Emma felt invisible to Ryan, her boyfriend. On his birthday, plans shifted as he chose friends over their dinner. Heart heavy, she tried to share her feelings, but Ryan just didn’t get it. A wise friend suggested honesty: “Just tell him how you feel.” So, she did. To her surprise, Ryan listened, and they grew closer through understanding.

williamrocket • 14d ago

It sounds like you’re facing a real communication gap. Your feelings of being unimportant are valid, especially with a lack of quality time. Consider having an open and honest conversation with him about your needs and emotions. Focus on expressing how his actions affect you, rather than placing blame, to foster understanding.

marsexplorer25 • 14d ago

It sounds like you're feeling undervalued in your relationship, especially when he prioritizes friends over your time together. It’s important to communicate your feelings clearly and assertively. Try to have an open conversation about your need for quality time and mutual respect. If he dismisses your concerns, consider if this relationship meets your emotional needs.

cometmeteor12 • 14d ago

It sounds really tough, and I totally get why you feel unimportant. You're deserving of quality time and support. Try to share your feelings calmly with him, focusing on how you value your time together. It’s key he understands this, and you both deserve to prioritize each other. Communication is everything!

pulsestormeagle77 • 14d ago

Talk to him honestly about your feelings. He may not realize how his actions affect you!