I'm a 40-year-old man seeking assistance with my 39-year-old wife's gaming habits.

My wife and I generally have a good relationship, but occasionally we experience intense arguments that can leave us feeling miserable for days or even weeks. It typically unfolds like this: my wife will say something, and my non-verbal reaction—like scoffing at her suggestion to apply for a job that requires experience after being out of work for over a decade—comes across as insulting. I eventually recognize how my body language could be hurtful and apologize, stating, "I didn’t mean to imply that you couldn’t get that job. I think you're very capable, and I'm sorry if I upset you." While she believes my apology, it often doesn’t fully mend things. The fact that I gave her "the look" seems to warrant some punishment in her eyes, and she needs time to "heal." She’ll say, “Just leave me alone,” so I respect her space. From that point, the situation could either escalate her anger, or I might find her crying in the bedroom. I get the impression that she sometimes gets frustrated with herself for wanting to be alone when she truly desires comfort. However, I refuse to engage in what feels like emotional games. She might say something like, “You know I don’t want to spend Friday night alone; come talk to me and help me come out of the bedroom,” but I’m not willing to play that game. She could easily choose to come out and act as if she's calmed down, getting a warm welcome back, but she doesn’t. Things seem to be deteriorating. She recently mentioned, "I'll leave you," and while I suspect it’s more empty threats, I’m at a loss as to how to address this. We’ve sought counseling, but she often puts on a façade, making everything appear fine in front of the counselor. My patience is wearing thin. To add to the frustrations, my wife has a rather indifferent attitude toward intimacy, often withholding affection, especially sexual intimacy, until I approach her humbly, apologizing for being a "bad husband" (which I don’t believe I am). This seems to feed into her narrative of feeling mistreated and sets her up for future conflicts in her favor. I’m nearing my breaking point. I appreciate direct and honest conversations, but they usually lead to her losing her temper. It seems as though she tries to escalate our emotions, hoping I’ll lose my cool so she can label me as abusive. However, I’ve become wise to her tactics and remain calm, which only seems to frustrate her more. While she can be incredibly sweet at times, there are moments that leave me questioning if there's a narcissistic tendency within her. I could really use some guidance on how to handle this situation.