[27F] and [29M] are juggling numerous responsibilities... but is it really worth it?

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly three years. On our recent anniversary in October, I shared with him my feelings about potentially ending things. It struck me that on such a special day, I felt more hurt than happy about the time we've spent together. The main challenge for me is his presence in our relationship. No matter how committed he is, he always seems to have distractions that take away his time and attention. He deals with ADHD and has an avoidant attachment style, while I struggle with ADHD and anxiety, which adds to our complexities. While he sometimes manages household chores, it often seems like when he does, he uses that extra time to disconnect from our life together. I often feel like I'm the one managing everything and taking the initiative. I notice that he makes time for things that matter to him, but he finds it difficult to develop similar habits for us. Emotional intimacy and being present feels like something we have to work on actively, rather than something that comes naturally. I recognize that there are positive changes, but I can’t help but wonder if they’re enough. Am I settling because he struggles to meet my expectations of what a partner should be? He’s a kind and loving person, but I worry that despite his words, he may not fully understand my needs. Sometimes it seems like if someone truly wanted to prioritize our relationship, they would do so without needing extra encouragement. He often feels overwhelmed with everything he’s dealing with. When we first got together, he was in medical school but not doing well. He made a significant life change, moving away from a toxic family situation and I encouraged him to get his life together—and he did, but the toll it took on him often left me feeling neglected. I’ve asked him to be more proactive about household chores, even though I know he’s going through challenges, and he’s made strides in that area. However, it still leaves me feeling overlooked. I’ve also asked for more emotional support and engagement, and while he’s willing, his burdens prevent him from being fully present. I do see him making an effort and expressing his love in his own way, which reminds me of the person I fell in love with. But I still find myself questioning: why isn’t it enough?