Relationship advices: Communication Problems

My boyfriend tends to be quite dismissive.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. He’s 26, and I’m 25. He’s a pretty laid-back and easygoing guy—doesn’t stress much, is super patient, soft-spoken, and tends to keep to himself. You know the type. Lately, though, I’ve noticed he doesn’t really express his feelings, which I get is common for a lot of guys. However, he can also be quite dismissive overall, and I’m starting to feel uncertain about that. For example, one of his friends is going through a divorce—he’s a bit of a wild card, drinks a lot, and lives a reckless lifestyle. This friend has asked my boyfriend to move in with him at his new condo. My boyfriend was expecting this and is considering it. That honestly worries me; I really don’t want him to move in with someone who’s a bad influence. While I trust my boyfriend’s loyalty, I’m not sure I trust the combination of him and his friend. I brought up my concerns, saying I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to move in. He just replied, "Okay." When I asked if he wanted to know why, he shrugged it off, saying, "I don’t really care; that’s your opinion," and then changed the subject completely. This is just one example of his dismissive attitude that I’ve noticed a few times now. Should I be concerned about this behavior? Am I overreacting for feeling uneasy about it? Or is it wrong of me to have an opinion on whether he should move in with his friend?

Is my perception of 'insufficient interest from my partner' a valid concern, or is it an issue of my own? (M25, F22).

I've been in a relationship with my partner (F22) for the past two years. Often, during our conversations on platforms like Discord or WhatsApp, I feel like she isn't interested in my feelings or motivations. When I share what's on my mind, she rarely asks follow-up questions—something I naturally do as a way to show my interest. We've discussed this before, and she mentioned that these questions just don't come to her mind, and she struggles to express her interest. This situation makes me feel quite insecure. I'm unsure whether my feelings are valid or if I just need to reassure myself that my thoughts are interesting, rather than looking for validation from her. I realize that this topic might be challenging to address, but I would appreciate any insights on it. If you've had a similar experience, I’d love to hear about it. I'm finding it difficult to bring this up with her again since we've already talked about it. I know I need to discuss it with her eventually, but for now, I'm just looking for some input. Thank you!

Am I the bad person for ending things because of Taylor Swift?

I (25M) met my girlfriend (23F) about a year ago through work, and we've been living together for roughly a month now. From the start, we really connected, and honestly, things felt nearly perfect until recently. We share a lot of interests, and I can’t deny she’s incredibly attractive, which is definitely a nice perk, haha. We’ve always had slightly different music tastes—I'm into indie rock, while she leans more towards the "pop girlies," as she describes them. It’s never really caused any issues; we usually just compromise by either tuning into mainstream radio or taking turns with our favorite tracks. A few days ago, my girlfriend attended a Taylor Swift concert (I didn’t go because tickets were nearly $2,000 each), and while I’m happy she enjoyed herself, it feels like she came back a completely different person. That night, she bombarded me with a ton of videos from the concert, which we ended up watching until about 2 a.m. I got it; Taylor is her favorite artist, so I figured that's just how it goes. But then things took a strange turn the next day. When I got home from work, I was greeted by a life-size Taylor Swift cutout in our living room. My girlfriend claimed she’d bought it a week earlier but thought it was only right to put it up after being "initiated" into the fandom by attending the concert. I laughed, assuming she was joking, but she was dead serious. Now she refuses to move the cutout out of the living room, only plays Taylor’s music on our speakers, and even insists on bringing the giant cutout into our bedroom at night so "Taylor can watch over us." I’m at a loss for what to do. I tried to talk to my girlfriend about it, and she insists I should be happy for her finding something she loves. And I am—truly, I am—but it’s starting to interfere with our everyday lives. To me, it feels a bit obsessive and off. Today, I finally told her that she needs to tone it down and put the life-size cutout in a closet, or I’d have to consider breaking up with her. She ended up crying and mentioned she would enter her “reputation era” if I left, though I’m not even sure what that means—it's apparently another Taylor Swift reference. So, am I being unreasonable for wanting to break up over this? I really don’t recognize my girlfriend anymore.

Is he intentionally trying to hurt my feelings?

I’m starting to feel like my boyfriend is purposely trying to hurt my feelings. It seems like he forgets things we’ve talked about and continues to repeat the same behaviors after we've discussed them. For example, I express that it bothers me when he does something, and then a few months later, he does it again. He hardly remembers our conversations, and it feels like he has the same discussions with me that he has with his coworkers. While he’s not interested in living together, he also doesn’t want to break up. Does anyone have any insights on this?

Is it my fault, or do I have the right to feel a little unsettled?

I've been dating someone (33F) for two months, and everything has been going really well, except for a few recent incidents that have left me feeling anxious. A few days ago, I stayed at her place and woke up after she'd already left for work. As I was getting ready to leave, I noticed her dehumidifier was still on. I texted her to see if she wanted me to leave it running or turn it off since I knew she was going away for the weekend. However, I started spiraling into an OCD-related train of thought and convinced myself that if I didn’t turn it off, something terrible might happen. I was already running late and my Uber had arrived, so I just switched it off. Later, when she messaged me to say I should have left it on, I lied and told her I hadn’t touched it. I felt that sharing my OCD-related concerns would make me seem irrational or too vulnerable after only eight weeks of dating. Once I got to work, though, I decided to come clean. I admitted to turning it off and explained that I had spiraled into some distressing “what-if” scenarios about it. I didn’t want her to think I was crazy. But her reaction surprised me—it seemed quite intense, and she didn’t understand why I had lied. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. For example, she once asked if I knew how much air to put in my bike tires, and I responded affirmatively but then realized I didn’t know the exact amount. When she pressed me about why I said I did, I felt a physiological reaction stemming from a childhood experience where I would face punishment for not knowing something. My girlfriend also reacted strongly, bewildered that I would be dishonest about such a minor detail. Following the incident with the dehumidifier, we had a lengthy phone call where I expressed my anxiety and regret. I truly value honesty, and I felt awful about upsetting her over something trivial. During our conversation, she asked me a barrage of questions to understand my motivations, referencing other instances where she felt I had been dishonest. For example, when I admitted to knowing a band but could only name a couple of their songs, she viewed that as being untruthful. She also questioned my decision to display my degree certificates on my wall, asking why it mattered for others to know about my achievements. This made me feel belittled, as if my pride in my accomplishments was being dismissed. Despite my efforts to explain my feelings—trying to shield her from my mental health struggles and not wanting to come across as irrational—her response felt disproportionate. Even though I've acknowledged that any dishonesty can feel unsafe, I'm left feeling interrogated rather than supported in these situations. My friends have reacted similarly, reinforcing that I'm feeling overlooked and anxious rather than comforted. I've apologized for the fib about the dehumidifier and explained my reasoning, yet the intensity of her reaction continues to trouble me. I’m now questioning whether she unintentionally undermines or dismisses my feelings during these discussions. Am I in the wrong here? Is her strong reaction to my seemingly small lie justified? I've tried to present this situation as objectively as possible, without leaving anything out. Thanks for your understanding.

Is incompatibility a valid reason to end a relationship?

We are both 18 and have been together for nearly a year. Our love for each other runs deep, and I truly believe he is a good person who cares for me. However, we do have our disagreements, and sometimes it feels like we just don’t understand one another. There are moments when I need someone to empathize with me, which is a challenge for him. Additionally, he can come across as insensitive and lacking emotional intelligence. I also worry about feeling like I’m raising someone else’s child. During busy times, he tends to show less affection, which isn’t necessarily wrong, but I sometimes wonder if I’m asking too much for a consistent display of love. I want a lifelong partner, and while I love him, I'm unsure if this relationship is truly worth the struggle.

What are some ways I can become more open with my partner about my emotions?

I'm a 24-year-old man seeking to improve my communication with my partner, a 24-year-old woman, with whom I’ve been in a relationship for eight years. I recognize that I have some personal issues that I need to address, but despite this, she chooses to stay with me because she loves me. However, I struggle with intense self-doubt and a lot of self-hatred, making it difficult for me to express my thoughts and feelings to her. Recently, she returned from a trip that I’m glad she enjoyed, but there are aspects of her experience that evoke feelings I find hard to articulate. I worry that my hesitation to share how I feel could harm our relationship. I’m looking for advice on how to navigate this situation or any ideas on how to start communicating better. I'm all ears for any help you can provide.

What are some ways I can become more inviting and friendly in my relationships?

I make an effort to remain calm, open-minded, and understanding in my relationships. However, I’ve noticed that many of them tend to surface unresolved issues, leading to growing resentment toward me. By the time it becomes apparent, it's often too late for us to address the problems. Some partners come with past experiences that make them wary of conflict, which I understand. Beyond offering reassurance and maintaining a calm demeanor, what else can I do to demonstrate to a woman that I genuinely want to communicate in a peaceful manner?

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 [6]