Relationship advices: Breakups and Divorces

I'm a 25-year-old woman who recently ended my relationship with my 28-year-old boyfriend, and now he’s asking for another opportunity. How should I handle this?

My boyfriend (28M) and I (25F) have been together for over a year. While our relationship was never perfect, it had its decent moments. Initially, I was impressed by how open and communicative he was, and I felt genuinely lucky to have him. However, the past few months have been challenging, and I’ve begun to feel like we’re not the same people anymore. To provide some background: I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant in July, though it wasn't confirmed until October. During that period, I realized I wanted to break up due to my unhappiness in the relationship. He convinced me to work through it together, and we began couples counseling. Ultimately, we mutually decided to terminate the pregnancy, a heartbreaking choice. Throughout this, he was supportive and allowed me the space to make my own decision without pressure. Since then, our relationship has been tumultuous. We’ve quarreled over seemingly minor issues (like my reluctance to share my Gatorade on the day of the procedure), which escalated into intense arguments where he resorted to name-calling. He later apologized, saying he felt overwhelmed and hadn’t been the support I needed. Although he attempted to be there for me after the procedure, I’ve felt emotionally, physically, and mentally neglected. He has been spending significant time with friends and family, frequently using our shared car for his own purposes while leaving me to arrange my own transportation. He has also steered clear of talking about the abortion or checking in on my emotional state, leaving me feeling unimportant. Despite repeatedly expressing my needs for affection, communication, and quality time, it seems like nothing has changed. Last night, everything came to a head. I shared my feelings of neglect and that my needs and boundaries were being overlooked. I told him that love alone is insufficient for a healthy relationship and that I’ve been unhappy for quite some time. I expressed my concerns that he might be inherently selfish and that I can’t envision a future together. Initially, he agreed to break up, stating he loves me and wants me to be happy. However, he later became emotional, insisting he doesn’t want to lose me and that our love is the most genuine connection he’s ever experienced. He pleaded for another chance, offering to implement changes, such as establishing a weekly date night on Mondays. He then sent me a message saying: "I know you’re done with me, but if you’d like to go on a date every Monday, please say yes. If not, just tell me what I want to hear. Even after I leave for my trip, I want to continue. I got too comfortable and didn’t put in the effort you deserve. Just forget everything else. Good night. ❤️ Do what’s best for you, love." Now I'm feeling conflicted. Breaking up was heartbreaking, yet it also brought a sense of relief. I’ve never ended a relationship with someone I loved before, and it's been emotionally taxing. Part of me contemplates giving him another chance since he appears willing to change, but another part feels drained and skeptical about whether anything will improve, especially since I’ve heard similar promises in the past. What should I do? How can I determine if it’s worthwhile to try again or if it’s best to walk away? **TL;DR** I (24F) ended my relationship with my boyfriend (28M) after months of conflict, neglect, and unmet needs following an unplanned pregnancy and abortion. He’s now pleading for another chance, claiming he will change, but I feel emotionally exhausted and uncertain if it's worth it. Should I give him another chance or move on? **NOTE:** Throughout our time together, there have been financial problems on his part, breaches of trust, and a past incident of cheating. He once downloaded an app to talk to another woman after a fight, claiming he needed an escape from the negativity. He said I should have focused on what I could do to prevent him from feeling that way (that was about seven months ago).

Seeking some guidance! Here's a detailed post.

I'm not quite sure where to begin, as this might turn into a lengthy post. I'm a 40-year-old woman in a relationship with a 43-year-old man, and we've been dating since August 2023. Initially, things were fantastic, but our time together was limited because he is a single dad. He made an effort to connect with me through calls and texts throughout the day. By November 2023, we decided to move in together. To give some context, I’ve been living with my parents after my divorce so I could get help with my kids. He owned a home about an hour away, but his ex-girlfriend had a key since she would visit their son. I warned him about the complications of that situation. One weekend, while he was staying with me, his ex took their son and moved her family into his house, changed the locks, and stored his belongings in the garage. With nowhere else to go, I asked my parents if he could stay with us temporarily, and they agreed. Things went smoothly at first. He works from home as a mechanical engineer, while I’m a dental hygienist with a decent income. However, there were continuous issues with his paycheck—whether it was a missed direct deposit, a mix-up with his brother signing his name, or checks being held. Fast forward to May 2024, when my boyfriend learned that his father had stage four prostate cancer. At the same time, my parents grew uncomfortable with our living arrangements and his ongoing financial troubles, prompting them to ask him to move out. He decided to return home to care for his dad, assuring me he just needed some time to sort out his father’s affairs. I was hesitant, fearing he might not come back, but ultimately, I let him go. Six months have passed since he left, and he hasn’t returned yet—something seems to come up every time (first he had a month-long migraine that led to surgery, then he got kidney stones, which he’s still dealing with). Meanwhile, I’ve been working tirelessly to support my family, as well as him and his son, but it’s been a struggle to make ends meet, despite earning good money every week. I send him money regularly for groceries and other necessities. When I had some extra funds, I would buy him gifts without him asking, including an Xbox for our anniversary and a monitor, desk, and gaming chair for his birthday. I’m feeling overwhelmed with my thoughts. I’m considering whether I should cut ties, as he hasn’t come back yet, but he always finds a way to keep me invested. I’m reaching out for advice on what to do: Should I wait this out, or should I sever ties and possibly reconnect down the line if he returns?

Feeling Disconnected in My Current Relationship and Considering Emotional Infidelity – What Steps Should I Take?

Hey Reddit, I’m a 20-year-old male who has been in a relationship with my 19-year-old girlfriend for over seven months. This is my first serious long-term relationship, and while it has been a valuable learning experience, I’ve recently been feeling emotionally distant. We seem to have different values and expectations that are causing friction. She places a strong emphasis on punctuality and remembering important dates, while I tend to be more easygoing. I've been trying to adapt for her—like arriving early to meet her and setting reminders for special occasions—but it often feels like my efforts are overlooked in favor of my mistakes. Additionally, her communication style can be challenging; she sometimes refers to me as a "disappointment," which brings up painful memories from my past. Despite my attempts to address our issues and foster better communication, I’m not feeling fulfilled in this relationship. I’m starting to question whether we’re truly compatible, particularly given how one-sided our interactions feel and how unsupported I am. Things get even more complicated because there is someone else involved. **The Other Girl**: Recently, I’ve been getting closer to a friend who has been a great support during this challenging time. We’ve been spending a lot of time together—talking late into the night, meeting almost daily, and genuinely enjoying each other’s company without the tension that I feel with my girlfriend. Being with her feels easy and natural. We’ve even shared moments that flirted with emotional and possibly physical boundaries, like cuddling in a secluded park and engaging in playful activities like silent talking competitions and tracing each other’s hands. I even carried her bridal style to her car and shared long hugs, which prompted her to jokingly call me “needy.” Afterward, I apologized to my friend for the situation, acknowledging that it felt strange considering I have a girlfriend. She agreed it was a bit odd but reassured me that it was okay. However, since then, her texts have dwindled to just one or two exchanges a day. Now, I’m left wondering: is she pulling away because she's losing interest, or is she trying to create space to avoid being a rebound? I've reached a decision about ending my current relationship, but I would really appreciate any insights, especially from those who have been in a similar situation.

I'm a 19-year-old guy and I'm thinking about ending my relationship with my girlfriend, who's 18. I’m feeling really conflicted and anxious about it. What’s the best way to go about breaking up with her?

We've been together every day for nearly five years, and she is truly in love with me. Yet, I find it incredibly difficult to look her in the eye and tell her that I want to move on and explore new relationships. I'm uncertain if I should feel guilty about this. She is kind-hearted and wonderful, but I've reached a point where I no longer wish to be in a relationship. After relocating to a different city for college, she's been struggling with the change. She calls me constantly, often in tears, expressing how much she needs me. Meanwhile, I'm left feeling emotional—not because I miss her, but rather because I don’t feel that sense of longing at all. I hesitate to end things because I know it will deeply affect her, and she doesn't deserve that pain. However, I also recognize that I shouldn't remain in a relationship if I don't truly want to be in it. It's a difficult situation, and I’m unsure of what steps to take.

I'm 26, and I'm wondering if I made the right choice.

I'm John, 26, and I've been in a situationship with a girl, 24, for nearly a year. She ended her relationship with her boyfriend last year to be with me, stating she had lost feelings for him, and after a month, she chose to pursue things with me. We've been acting like a couple since then, though we never officially defined our relationship. Recently, she's become distant, ignoring me for almost two weeks and pulling away from intimacy, saying she's too exhausted from work and needing to support her family. I tried to talk about our situation, but she declined. Out of frustration, I decided to end things and returned her belongings. She later sent me a lengthy message explaining that she isn't ready to commit, wants to focus on herself, and is afraid she won't be a good partner. Now I'm questioning my decision. I still have feelings for her and want to be with her, but I'm uncertain if she's truly ready for a relationship after almost a year without a label. Should I block her on social media to help myself move on, or did I make the right choice in breaking up?

My boyfriend of three years and I just broke up, but we're still in touch as friends.

I, a 20-year-old female, recently ended my relationship with my 20-year-old male ex. I've written about it before, but essentially we decided to focus on personal growth separately while still caring for each other. We’ve agreed to see if we might reconnect in the future, although we’re not certain if that will happen. I'm feeling a bit lost about how to communicate with him. I don’t think a strict no-contact approach would benefit us, but I'm also unsure what to do. He recently helped me out by taking my sick cat to the vet since I had no one else to turn to, and he readily agreed to help. His responses have left me feeling confused, especially since we exchanged a few texts today. I mentioned going hiking alone and asked if I could send him my location for safety, to which he also agreed. Now, I’m wondering if I’m taking advantage of the situation. We’ve had some chats, he sends emojis and has even mentioned things like how he promised to take me out to do something special that means a lot to him. I know he still has feelings for me, just as I do for him, but it’s becoming a bit challenging to act as though everything is normal. I imagine this must be strange for him too. At the moment, I’m working on myself by listening to podcasts, doing affirmations, and journaling to address the issues I had in our relationship. So, I guess I'm more venting than seeking advice. Regardless, I can see that the breakup has its upsides, yet I still miss him. I don’t call him “mi amor” anymore, and I miss casually saying “I love you.” I realize I shouldn’t put too much pressure on him, especially since that was one of the reasons we broke up—my anxious attachment style. Ultimately, I just have to trust that whatever happens is for the best, but deep down, I truly love him and hope he can be the one for me.

My girlfriend (26F) has begun to connect her thoughts about me with emotions from her childhood trauma related to her father. I'm a 30-year-old man, and I'm wondering if there's anything I can do to help.

I've been in a wonderful relationship with an incredible girl (I'm 30, she's 26, for context) for nearly a year. Our time together has been filled with love and happiness, perhaps the best we've both experienced. However, last week I brought up that she seemed a bit distant, sensing she was stressed about something. She's not one to easily open up about her feelings, so I received the typical “I’m fine” response I’ve come to expect. I know she has some childhood trauma related to her biological father, who is no longer in her life, but she hasn’t shared much about it. It turns out, my comment about her distance made her feel like "my love isn't enough for him," which led to a serious panic attack at work, requiring her parents to come to her aid. Throughout last weekend, the panic attacks continued, and she unexpectedly cut off communication with me. When I reached out to her stepfather, he explained that her feelings of inadequacy are triggering memories of her father’s absence. Apparently, she hadn't experienced panic attacks in over a decade. Her stepfather conveyed that she intends to end our relationship, though several family members have suggested she doesn't truly mean it. On the positive side, she started seeing a therapist today. What concerns me is that her mother suggested she contact me for closure, which seemingly prompted another panic attack. I'm worried she’s beginning to associate me with the trauma of her past due to a misunderstanding of my innocent comment. I truly adore her and had plans to propose soon. Right now, I’m giving her space and maintaining no contact. Is there anything else I can do? I hope her therapy helps her objectively revisit our wonderful relationship to realize that I’m nothing like her father and that she is more than enough for me. This situation has hit me hard, as it all came so suddenly, and I feel helpless in wanting to support her. Thank you for any advice!

I'm feeling really confused.

I (19F) recently broke up with my ex (18M) two days ago. On Wednesday night, he shared that he wasn’t in a good place emotionally; he feels unmotivated and has lost interest in school. He mentioned how he sees me happy and it makes him feel bad about himself. I can tell that his situation at home isn't great, and he’s been dealing with a lot. He expressed how he wanted to make me happy but felt he couldn't, and he apologized for it all. I told him that I understood and wished him the best because I care about him. After our breakup, I unfollowed him on Instagram, but we were still following each other on his spam account, where he only follows me and his main account. After saying goodbye, I noticed he had turned off his location sharing with me. Later that day, I posted a light-hearted note on my Instagram that said, "It's her turn now *sighs nonchalantly*." He replied to it from his spam account the following afternoon. I saw his message but didn’t respond until later. We ended up texting back and forth, and I noticed his location feature was back on. He also sent a request to follow me again from his main account, which I accepted because I still want to have a relationship with him. Yesterday, I posted a story as a joke featuring a girl with a shirt that said "World's Best Ex-Girlfriend." He responded by asking, "Whose ex are you?" I replied, "Yours," and he followed up with, "Are you?" I responded, "Am I?" and he closed with, "If you say so." Now, I’m feeling really confused and wondering what he might be hinting at. I’d love to get some opinions from someone else's perspective. Apologies for any typos or grammatical errors; I'm in a bit of a rush!

What steps do you take to cope with a breakup?

My engagement has been called off, and I'm feeling incredibly heartbroken. My ex has emotionally disconnected, and while there were plenty of red flags indicating we weren't truly compatible beyond the physical aspect, I gave it my best shot to make things work. Unfortunately, he seems ready to move on. I don't harbor any anger or resentment toward him; I just feel sad and want to approach this situation in a healthy way. I've never experienced a breakup that felt healthy or successfully maintained a friendship after dating. What are some ways to navigate moving on from a relationship in a constructive manner?

My girlfriend (25, female) of 1.5 years ended our relationship because I wasn’t affectionate enough. Should I reach out to her?

My girlfriend of 1.5 years recently broke up with me after several arguments about whether or not I express my love for her. It always felt like our discussions centered around her feelings and rarely acknowledged mine. I tried to show her I care in numerous ways, but she tended to focus on the times I seemed neglectful. For instance, there was a night when she asked me for water at 2 a.m. while she was feeling sick, and I told her I would get it after I finished a video game mission. She got really upset and went to get it herself. Another incident happened during our trip to San Francisco, where she thought I was upset because she suggested we stay at a hotel in a less desirable area. After I found out the location was indeed problematic, I expressed my frustration about not being able to get a refund, but reassured her it wasn't her fault. There were also times when she felt like a burden, which led her to hold back from suggesting activities or even texting me. I admit that it became exhausting for me, and it affected my mood. However, I always communicated how I felt and never ignored any issues. When she got upset, she would disregard my texts and calls, preventing me from having a dialogue with her, which didn't feel fair. The tipping point seemed to be my perceived lack of support regarding her state exam. I had planned a celebratory dinner for after she finished, but she mentioned she had plans with her parents. So, I simply wished her luck and told her to text me when she got there and again when she was done, promising a surprise. When she didn't reach out afterward, I checked in but received no response. Later, she came by to grab her toothbrush and ended up packing her things. We both shared our feelings, but I realized I was going in circles. She spent the night, and we were intimate, but in the morning, she left in tears, telling me she loved me. After that, she removed our photos from Instagram and exited our group chats. I believe I'm also blocked on iMessage. I've dealt with similar situations before. Now I'm wondering if it's worth trying to win her back and giving us another chance. She genuinely cared for me and had high expectations that I struggled to meet. I know we both love each other. Is this a situation worth discussing, or should I let it go since she seems unwilling to talk about it right now? **TL;DR:** My girlfriend ended our relationship because she felt I wasn't matching her affection, despite my efforts to show my love. She was an incredible partner and the best I've had. Should I attempt to discuss this issue, or is it better to just move on?

I broke up with my boyfriend, who is 29, and I'm 23. I'm feeling unsure about whether to go back to him.

I'm feeling confused and could use some personal advice. We've been apart for seven months after a six-year relationship. Recently, we reconnected, and I can't stop thinking about him. He finally wants to talk after I ended things earlier this year. I keep wondering if I should have tried harder or sought counseling instead. I've started seeing someone new, who is a genuinely good man, but something feels off. I can’t shake thoughts of my ex from my mind, which adds to my confusion about what to do next. Our past had its share of ups and downs, but that's common in relationships. When we met recently, he mentioned he's changed and would like to give things another shot. I agreed, but then I backed out because I was unsure. I don't want to ruin the possibility of rekindling our relationship, but I feel torn about my feelings. What should I do?

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