Unsure about where to begin. My husband (M28) and I (F25) - (Long post)

Subject: Seeking Advice on Navigating Divorce Hi there, I've been reflecting on my relationship with my husband for a while now, and I've reached a point where I believe divorce may be the best option for us. However, I feel uncertain about how to approach the conversation and what preparations I should make beforehand. I want to ensure that I have everything organized before discussing this with him, especially since I recently started a new job after being unemployed for over a year. We’ve been together for nearly seven years and married for more than half of that time. It’s dawning on me that we might have married too young. We were each other’s firsts in many ways. He helped me escape my difficult family situation by inviting me to live with his family shortly after I turned 18, and he was my first genuinely kind and stable relationship. Even now, I still love him and consider him my best friend. He's always been protective of me, caring for animals, and assisting his parents as they age. I genuinely want him to be happy, but I can no longer prioritize his happiness over my own mental well-being. It's time for me to put myself first. **Reasons I believe divorce is the right choice:** I've kept a list of issues I've felt uncomfortable bringing up to him, only to have them ignored. I often feel more like a mother, friend with benefits, or roommate than a wife. Here are some points I've noted down: - He hasn't memorized my phone number after seven years, only learning it when we switched to a new phone plan. - He sometimes leaves spills in front of the toilet without cleaning them up. - He doesn’t call me by the affectionate names I prefer, using terms that make me feel more like a child than an adult. - The prospect of having children with him makes me anxious, as he struggles to discuss our potential future as parents. - Despite me being an avid writer, he hasn’t taken the time to read any of my books, even when I created a cozy reading space for him. - He isn’t emotionally available and finds it difficult to articulate why he loves me. - Our sexual relationship often caters to his desires, leaving me feeling unnoticed and unfulfilled. - I feel that after being together for years, he should have a better understanding of my needs and preferences. - He tends to minimize and trivialize the ways I express love and affection, which often leads me to feel underappreciated. - His family’s needs often take precedence over mine, which concerns me regarding our future together, especially with children. - When I get emotional during movies or shows, he often ridicules me, despite having asked him to stop. - I feel like I carry a disproportionate amount of household responsibilities, despite both of us now working full-time. - Lastly, he was dismissive about taking time off for my birthday, even though it was planned months in advance. I’m aware that I have my own flaws, and I’ve been working hard to improve our communication. I've shifted to using "I feel" statements when discussing issues and have practiced patience when handling his reactions, which stem from my childhood experiences. Four months ago, we talked about my feelings of neglect in our intimate life, and while he initially made an effort to change, it didn’t last long. Now, I’m seeking any advice on how to prepare for the divorce process. We have three dogs, and we’ve previously joked that he would take one and I would take the other two. I plan to stick to this agreement, although it will be challenging. Here’s what I need to focus on: - Saving money - Gathering important documents and obtaining copies - Buying my own car (we’ve been sharing his since mine broke down) - Securing a storage unit to pack my belongings (I plan to wait until closer to my move to discuss this with him) I have some idea about negotiation points like furniture and baby items, and I plan to make a list of questions for an attorney or mediator. Ideally, I’d prefer mediation since my husband is fairly reasonable, and it seems he senses the distance between us. If you have any tips or suggestions that could help me navigate this situation, I would greatly appreciate your input. Thank you for taking the time to read my lengthy message!