A married couple, ages 42 (male) and 44 (female), is looking for advice on how to navigate their current situation.

My husband and I are approaching 14 years of marriage, and the past three have been the hardest we've faced. He struggles with an addiction to pornography, engages in catfishing women online, and masturbates every night before bed. It falls to me to initiate intimacy, while he remains distant. It's bewildering that he can go for months without sex with his willing wife yet chooses to pursue self-gratification right next to me. I've caught him several times chatting with other women online; he claims he never meets them, but some of these women didn't even know his real name or what he looks like. He doesn't see it as cheating, but as a Christian woman, I believe it is. I've tried to forgive him because I believe in the sanctity of marriage and understand that no one is perfect; we all make mistakes. Another strain in our marriage is his mother, who has visited multiple times and caused significant issues between us. She seems to thrive on discord and doesn't want to see anyone happy, having also created problems for his brother and sister-in-law, who refuse to let her back into their home. My husband wants me to accept her back into our lives, but I have put my foot down. He can't see the damage she has done, which is painful, especially since he prioritizes her over me. I frequently feel unsupported compared to the way I support him, and he even seems to be trying to create a divide between my son and me. For the last three years, my husband has slept in another room with our son, who is now 13. I decided my son was too old to sleep with us, and since then, my husband has been with him every night. He indulges our son completely, never saying no, claiming he sleeps beside him until he falls asleep. I want our son to learn independence as he matures into a young man, but my husband and I disagree sharply on how to raise him. It feels like we live together as roommates or strangers. Our communication mainly happens through texts, and despite numerous conversations about how his actions affect me, there has been no real change. He promises to improve, yet his actions contradict his words. He doesn’t mention divorce but suggests that things will get better, leaving me wondering how long I should hold on to a commitment that feels increasingly one-sided. As a Christian, I believe a marriage should prioritize the bond between husband and wife, followed by children and extended family. I believe we must put God first to create a loving home for our children to grow up in, surrounded by positive role models. While I can get angry when provoked, he tends to avoid confrontation and sweep issues under the rug, whereas I prefer to talk things through for resolution. I feel I have reached my breaking point and am contemplating moving on. I helped him become a citizen and supported him while he built a successful career, all while I stayed home with our son. Now that I wish to pursue a career myself, I face multiple obstacles, including financial constraints, as he manages all our finances. I want to consult an attorney about a divorce, but I'm unsure how to proceed without manageable funds. We’ve agreed to sell our home and split the proceeds, but he continues to delay this process. We have both acknowledged the house needs repairs before it can sell, but over the past year, he has made little progress. I have medical expenses due to ongoing health issues, as well as typical costs like car payments, rent, and groceries. I feel overwhelmed and don’t know how to move forward. If anyone has any advice or information that could help me navigate this situation, I would greatly appreciate it. I'm truly in need of guidance.