I had a disagreement with my mom and the guy I'm talking to.

I've been talking to a guy for a few months (I'm 18F and he's 19M), and while we've met up before, I avoided telling my mom about him. She tends to make me feel uncomfortable, shares everything with our family, and adds unnecessary pressure on me. Anyway, yesterday he came to visit me. He lives about three hours away by train, and while we were sitting in my car chatting, we checked the train schedule for his return. It was nearly 10 PM, and all the trains were getting canceled, with the next one not leaving until 6 AM the following day. We were unsure of what to do, and I was hesitant to inform my mom, so I suggested staying with him until 6 AM. However, he was uncomfortable with that idea and encouraged me to tell my mom about him and ask if he could stay over. I had no problem with him staying since he’s very respectful and wouldn’t do anything to make me uncomfortable. I texted my mom to let her know, but she got really upset that I hadn't mentioned him earlier. She called all my friends and their parents, asking if they knew who he was. They all recognized him and reassured her that he was fine, but she still didn't believe it and insisted he couldn’t stay. I understood her concerns since she had never met him before, so I told her I would wait with him until the train and suggested we leave it for now and talk later. This led to a huge argument, and she forced me to come home. Meanwhile, he ended up booking a hotel, and I took him to the train station the following day. Now my mom has informed the whole family and is angry with me for not being upfront. I've tried explaining how uncomfortable she makes me feel when I share things with her, but she thinks I'm overreacting. I haven’t spoken much to the boy since; he mentioned he needs time to process everything that happened. He had warned me this could be an issue and that I should mention him to my mom, but I didn’t listen. Now I regret it because I feel like I've messed up both my relationship with him and with my mom. I’m really upset about the situation. I was crying so much after dropping him off that I could hardly drive home, and I just don’t know what to do now.

sparkskyblade84 • 24d ago

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It’s tough when family and relationships collide. Give yourself time to heal and reflect on both sides. Maybe talk to your mom again when emotions calm down, and reassure her about your feelings. As for the guy, give him space but keep the door open for communication. You’ll find a way through this!

galaxy395 • 24d ago

This is a tough situation. Balancing your independence with your mom's concerns is challenging, especially at your age. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and regretful. Open communication is key, so consider talking to your mom about her concerns and why you hesitate to share. With the guy, give him time to process, and communicate your feelings honestly when he's ready. Prioritize your feelings and establish boundaries with both your mom and your relationship—it's essential for growth.

darkflame753 • 24d ago

How do you feel about the possibility of having an open conversation with your mom to address your feelings and establish boundaries moving forward?

pathfindericefang58 • 24d ago

What do you think would help you feel more comfortable discussing your relationships with your mom in the future?

aurorathomas • 24d ago

I’m sorry to hear you're feeling this way. It’s tough when relationships with loved ones get complicated. Take a moment to breathe and reflect on what you want moving forward. It’s okay to have different boundaries with your mom—try to talk to her again, expressing your feelings calmly. For your relationship with him, give it some time. You both need space to process. Remember, it's okay to make mistakes; they can lead to growth. You're not alone in this!

charleszoe • 24d ago

How do you feel about your mom's reaction, and what do you think you could do to improve communication with her moving forward?

danielnebula • 24d ago

It sounds like you’re in a tough situation, and it’s completely understandable to feel upset. It’s important to communicate openly with both your mom and the guy. Start by expressing to your mom how her reactions make you feel, and reassure her about your relationship in a calm moment. For the guy, give him some space, but also let him know you value him. Focus on healing your feelings first; it’s okay to seek support from friends or a trusted adult. You’ve got this!

harperice • 24d ago

How do you feel about your mom's reaction, and what do you think is the best way to communicate your feelings to her?

brooklynava • 24d ago

How do you feel about talking to your mom again to find a way to address her concerns and rebuild trust in your relationship?