My boyfriend (34) is struggling to adjust to our new life as parents, and I (31) feel powerless.

I’m not sure if I’m just venting or genuinely seeking advice. My partner and I have two young children—one is in kindergarten, and the other is at home with my partner. We share a relaxed, healthy, and loving relationship. While there may not be a lot of “honeymoon phase” activities these days, we still kiss, laugh, and enjoy our time together. We find humor in parenting, share frustrations about our kids, and generally agree on both small and big matters. Overall, our relationship isn’t difficult. However, my partner is struggling. He’s dealing with anxiety sparked by his self-image, current health issues, overthinking, the state of the world, and most significantly, our children. I feel at a loss when it comes to supporting him. I want to give him the alone time he needs to unwind and engage in activities he enjoys, but it seems like there’s never enough time. Each evening, we have from 8 PM to around midnight to ourselves, but he feels this isn’t sufficient, even though I try to handle the kids if they wake up during that time. Our days are filled with work, kindergarten, dinner, and bedtime, leaving little room for more “me time.” On weekends, we do get some help from grandparents, but we don’t want to burden our family with our kids constantly. Plus, we enjoy family time, but lately my partner has been feeling overwhelmed and lacks energy, so our activities have become quite limited. Another issue weighing on me is my own selfishness. I recognize that he’s having a tough time, and I want to help, but I’m also exhausted and in desperate need of alone time. My youngest is still nursing and relies on me heavily, so as soon as I come home, I’m responsible for him 99% of the time. Meanwhile, my oldest can be quite territorial, claiming “my mommy” or “my toy” and throwing tantrums if he doesn't get his way. It’s challenging; however, I know it could be worse, and I honestly don’t feel like we have too much to complain about. Yet, I struggle to balance my own needs with my partner’s struggles and the demands of our kids, feeling like most of my energy is directed toward them. How can I better support my partner through his difficulties? I often feel like it’s “out of my hands” and want to give up, which leaves me feeling terrible and like a bad partner. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Apologies for my less-than-perfect English! 😇