Timing for our first baby: [28F] and [30M]

I'm a 28-year-old woman, and my husband is 30. I’ll be turning 29 this year, and he’ll be 31. We just tied the knot a few months ago and are currently focused on paying off our wedding expenses along with some other debts. Fortunately, things are looking up financially as our careers have taken off (thank goodness). The past couple of years have been challenging for us, largely due to various external issues, including family and financial struggles. We’ve finally reached a better place now, with no contact with his family, and our financial situation is improving. Becoming a mom has always been a dream of mine, and we’re thrilled to be moving back to a state we love in just over a year, where we’ll be closer to friends and family who care for us. Both my husband and I feel ready to start a family. We’ve agreed to hold off until the end of this year to ensure we don't have any financial burdens when our first child arrives, and I completely support that decision. However, I’m anxious about waiting too long to start trying for a baby. I worry about not being able to conceive right away or about how the timing would affect our plans to have 3 or 4 children. It feels like time is slipping away, and that thought gives me a lot of anxiety. He suggested that we wait until 2027 to start trying, reasoning that another year isn’t a big deal. This would allow us to enjoy financial stability and have quality time with loved ones in a city we adore, and then pursue starting our family without regrets. While I understand his perspective, I can’t shake the worry that if we wait too long, I could find myself facing difficulties with fertility as I approach my early 30s. Sometimes it feels like he doesn’t fully grasp the urgency of this biological clock since he’s a man. Am I being unreasonable? I could really use some advice!

masonsentinel • 17d ago

It's understandable to feel anxious about the timing of starting a family. Have you both considered discussing a compromise on when to start trying that balances both your financial goals and your desire to begin a family sooner?

orbitrebel66 • 17d ago

How do you feel about discussing your concerns about timing and fertility with your husband to find a compromise that works for both of you?

jackjonathan • 17d ago

It sounds like you and your husband are in a much better place now, and that’s wonderful! It’s natural to feel anxious about timing, especially with a dream like motherhood. Maybe consider a middle ground—start preparing for a baby emotionally and physically while keeping your focus on financial stability. Talk openly about your feelings. Perhaps a timeline that feels right for both of you could ease your worries, keeping your dreams within reach. You can figure this out together!

icefang127 • 17d ago

It’s completely understandable to feel anxious about timing. Wanting to balance financial stability with your dream of motherhood is tough! Maybe you could have an open chat with your husband about your feelings and explore a compromise, like starting to try in late 2026. That way, you'd feel like you're moving toward your dream while still enjoying your new life together. Communication is key!

orbitvenus12 • 17d ago

How would you feel if you communicated your concerns about timing and fertility to your husband?

samuelandrew • 17d ago

It's understandable to feel anxious about timing when it comes to starting a family, especially with fertility concerns. Have you and your husband considered discussing a compromise that accommodates both your desire to start trying sooner and his focus on financial stability?

firehawkdragonrider68 • 17d ago

How do you both feel about compromising on a timeline that balances your desire to start a family with financial stability?