Should I allow my boyfriend to move in with me?
I'm a 26-year-old woman who met my boyfriend, a 36-year-old man, during the early phases of my separation from my husband (divorce proceedings are still ongoing). We've been together for nearly a year now. Recently, I moved 2.5 hours away for work-related reasons, and my boyfriend is planning to relocate next week as well. Initially, we intended to move in together, but I’m starting to have serious doubts about it. I have two daughters: a 7-year-old and a 2-year-old. My younger daughter is from my soon-to-be ex-husband, while my older daughter is from a previous relationship I had after high school. Because of my divorce, my 7-year-old has lost the father she's known all her life; he won't see her unless I "come home." I can see that she’s hurting, especially since she often tells me she misses her dad, and I’m at a loss for words when she does. Both girls adore my boyfriend and get excited when they see him. I've introduced him to them as just a friend, but I think my 7-year-old senses that it's more than that. When I asked her how she’d feel about him moving in with us, she responded positively. Later, she expressed that she wishes he could be her dad, which surprised me because it shows how much she cares for him. However, I have some concerns. I don’t want someone else to step in as a parental figure for my kids, especially if he might not be a long-term presence in their lives. I want my children to be raised with Christian values, and while he has said he would respect that, he has also made comments that question Christianity, which makes me doubt his commitment to helping me raise them in that way. Additionally, he spends $200 a month on nicotine, which isn’t necessarily bad, but he doesn’t seem to see it as a financial concern, while I do. I also feel that it might be too soon for us to take this step, even though we had initially planned to live together as roommates in front of the kids. Are these concerns valid? Are there other issues I should consider, or am I just overreacting?
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