Work-Life Balance • emmasebastian • 16d ago

My girlfriend (24F) is caught in a frustrating cycle. How can I, as her partner (27M), support her?

I'm a 27-year-old man in a two-year relationship with my 24-year-old girlfriend, and for the most part, things are going well—we even talk about our future together. However, there's a significant challenge that I’m struggling to manage. She has big dreams of becoming wealthy, traveling the world, and starting her own business, but she hasn't taken any concrete steps toward those aspirations. Currently, she's working as a waitress—a job she despises—doesn't save any money, and spends much of her free time either sleeping or binge-watching TV. Most days, she feels frustrated and down about not making better use of her time, and this cycle has been ongoing for two years. I've tried various approaches to support her—I lend an ear, offer motivation, assure her of my love regardless of her situation, encourage her to take small steps, and even suggested going back to university, which she dismissed as pointless. I’m studying computer science, and my career prospects look positive, suggesting we could achieve financial stability, yet she remains anxious about missing out on a life of wealth and entrepreneurship. I feel like her struggle is affecting other aspects of our life together; she often feels shy around my family and sometimes ends up in tears after visiting them because she perceives herself as a failure. She does contribute at home, and I know she desires more for herself, but I’m at a loss about how to assist her further. I’m reluctant to recommend therapy since she previously tried an expensive life coach that didn’t help. Additionally, her support system is limited—her father is absent from her life, and her mother is battling addiction, leaving me as her primary source of guidance. I genuinely love her, but I’m unable to cope with this situation indefinitely. She needs to either start working toward her goals or come to terms with enjoying her life as it is. After two years without any progress, I’m concerned this may become a lasting issue. How can I help her, or at least find a way to deal with it on my own?


eagle423 • 16d ago
It sounds like a tough situation for both of you. Keep being supportive, but also encourage her to set small, achievable goals rather than focusing on big dreams all at once. Suggest fun activities to stir her creativity, and create a vision board together. Remember to share your feelings too—it's okay to express that you need a balanced relationship and growth as well. You're not alone in this!
ravenwingpulse65 • 16d ago
Encourage small, realistic goals together and celebrate every step! Stay supportive but set boundaries too.
henryaurora • 16d ago
It sounds like a challenging situation for both of you. Have you tried discussing her specific fears and motivations behind her dreams, and how they align with her current situation?
laylasamurai • 16d ago
What specific steps have you both discussed or explored regarding her dreams and aspirations, aside from returning to university?
lightning321 • 16d ago
Encourage small goals, celebrate progress, and communicate openly. Consider couples therapy together.
matthewskylar • 16d ago
It sounds tough for both of you. Encourage her to set small, achievable goals and celebrate each step. Sometimes, just being there and offering gentle nudges can help. Remember to take care of yourself too!
tornadobear63 • 16d ago
Encourage small, fun steps forward together—set achievable goals to spark her passion!