Encouraging my wife to make small adjustments in her behavior?

My wife and I, both in our early 40s, generally have a strong relationship and share similar views on major issues. However, there are numerous small habits of hers that I've asked her to modify, yet it seems like there's little progress, even though she agrees that these changes would be beneficial. Here are a few examples: - **Use the right credit card**: I’ve asked her to use the optimal credit card for specific purchases instead of mixing our business and personal expenses. For example, using the Amex for clothes or kids' items for purchase protection, a specific card for groceries and gas that offers high cash back in those categories, and yet another card for restaurants. This is quite important to me, as I estimate that it costs us around $1,000 to $2,000 annually in lost rewards, purchase protection, and potential tax deductions. Additionally, I handle her financials for tax purposes, and separating these mixed expenses becomes a tedious half-day task each year. - **Laundry habits**: I’ve asked her to turn clothes right side out before putting them in the laundry to make folding quicker, as I or our maid do most of the laundry. - **Toothpaste**: I’ve mentioned that it’s helpful to squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom and put the cap back on. I’ve tried keeping my own toothpaste, but it inevitably gets shared after a few weeks. - **Replenishing personal items**: I’d appreciate it if she could reorder everyday items before running out, instead of waiting until they’re completely gone, which often results in late-night trips to the pharmacy for things like contact solution. - **Phone etiquette**: I’ve asked her to keep her phone on ring when it’s not inappropriate to do so, as she often misplaces it multiple times a day. - **Car parking**: When parking, it would be great if she could ensure that other cars can pass, that both sets of doors can open, that the climate control is set to automatic so it functions with a remote start, and that the keys are placed in the designated area rather than left in her purse. - **Memorization**: I’ve suggested that she memorize her passwords (especially for email) and at least one credit card number. - **Communication**: I would like her to inform me of her expected arrival time on days when she’s working and I'm at home, so I can plan dinner accordingly. Additionally, notifying me if she will be home significantly later than planned would be really helpful. I find myself frustrated because I’ve genuinely tried to accommodate her requests as well—like not leaving my shoes in a way that creates tripping hazards at the door, hanging my coat properly, cleaning the sink after shaving, and not leaving empty cans or bottles around the house. While I’m not perfect, I do put in the effort when asked for small changes. None of these issues are make-or-break for our relationship, but I believe addressing them would enhance my quality of life. It feels disrespectful when I don’t see a similar effort, and I’m seeking suggestions on how to approach this topic. It’s important to note that she has ADHD and chooses not to medicate because she dislikes the crash associated with stimulants, a decision I fully support. I have mild Asperger's and sometimes find myself overly irritated by these issues, which can affect my mood and our communication.