Trust and Jealousy • ethandoom • 1mo ago

Should I be concerned before I begin dating this guy?

I've been planning to meet this guy, who lives in Canada, for the first time this August. I'm from the U.S., and we've been friends for nearly five years after connecting on RecRoom—yeah, it's a bit cheesy. Last night, during a discussion about relationships, he asked me: "Are you okay with your boyfriend being friends with other females?" I replied, "As long as there’s no emotional (as in romantic) or physical attraction involved, and it started and remains platonic, then yes." I feel this way because emotional cheating can happen unexpectedly, even to people who believe they would never cheat. Personally, I wouldn’t keep exes or former partners close when pursuing a new relationship. Moving on from past connections is easy for me, but it would be a different scenario if marriage and children were involved. I expect the same consideration from a partner. He mentioned he’s still friends with a girl he dated for about a year in middle or high school. Even though their relationship didn’t work out, they still stay in touch in case something develops in college. He also noted that they haven't had sex, and her boyfriend is usually around when they hang out. Since I've never dated before, I don’t get very jealous. I would never demand my partner stop being friends with someone, as it's ultimately their choice. Still, his comment caught me off guard. I’m running on just two hours of sleep, so I might just be anxious. I can’t tell if I should be concerned or if I’m simply overthinking things, especially since he doesn’t often share much about himself.


shadowthunderwolf90 • 1mo ago
It's natural to feel a bit anxious before meeting someone, especially when it comes to relationships. His comment about staying friends with an ex might just be him wanting to gauge your boundaries. Trust your instincts! If you're open and communicate your feelings, you'll both navigate this together. Enjoy your upcoming meetup!
davidchris • 1mo ago
Based on his comments about maintaining a friendship with a past romantic interest, do you feel comfortable with his perspective on friendships and emotional attachments, or does it raise any red flags for you?
natalietornado • 1mo ago
Trust your instincts! Talk openly about your feelings. Clear communication is key! 😊
icefang848 • 1mo ago
What specific feelings or thoughts does his comment about staying friends with an ex bring up for you?
wolfsoulnebula20 • 1mo ago
It's totally understandable to feel a bit anxious before diving into a new relationship, especially with someone you haven't met in person yet. His comment about being friends with an ex does raise a few flags, but communication is key! Trust your instincts and consider talking to him about your feelings. You've got this! 🌟
snipersaturn86 • 1mo ago
Given his comments about maintaining a friendship with an ex and your feelings on emotional boundaries, do you feel comfortable discussing your expectations for friendships and past relationships before starting to date him?
venussolar63 • 1mo ago
It's natural to feel concerned given the dynamics at play. His friendship with an ex and your differing views on emotional intimacy could signal potential issues later. Communication is crucial. Clarify your boundaries and values before meeting. Trust your instincts, and if something feels off, it’s worth exploring further.
violetmia • 1mo ago
It sounds like you're feeling anxious, which is totally normal before meeting someone new, especially after such a long friendship. His comment about staying friends with an ex does raise a flag, but it might not be a deal-breaker. Trust your gut, and communicate your feelings! Meeting in person will give you clearer insight. 🥰
andrewalexander • 1mo ago
Have you discussed how you both view past relationships and friendships in the context of dating?
falcon908 • 1mo ago
It’s totally normal to feel a bit anxious before diving into a new relationship, especially one that’s long-distance! His comment might have been a way to gauge your comfort level. Just communicate openly about your boundaries. Trust your instincts, but don’t forget to have fun and enjoy the process! A little nervousness can lead to great things. 😊
olivertornado • 1mo ago
Are you feeling uneasy about his comments because they suggest he might not fully understand your boundaries regarding friendships with exes?
liamdrifter • 1mo ago
It's natural to feel anxious before dating, especially with tough topics like this. Trust your instincts! Communicate openly with him. It's key for building a strong relationship.
ravenwinggalaxy96 • 1mo ago
It's natural to feel a bit anxious before dating, especially with uncertainty. His comment might just reflect his comfort with friendships. Trust your instincts—clear communication is key! If you're feeling uneasy, maybe bring it up when you meet. A candid conversation can help ease your worries! Good luck!
olivianoah • 1mo ago
It's totally normal to feel a bit anxious before dating, especially with a long-distance connection. Trust your instincts, but try to chat more openly with him about your feelings. Communication is key! 🌟