I’m a 26-year-old woman and I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable about two of my boyfriend’s friends, who are both 23 years old. I would really appreciate any advice on how to navigate these feelings in a healthy manner.

Hello everyone, I'm reaching out for some advice regarding two situations. These aren't constantly on my mind, and I usually manage to let them go, but I'd appreciate an external perspective. To provide some context: I (26F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been together for nearly three years, with the past two being long-distance. We're planning to move in together soon, which I'm really excited about! I genuinely value our relationship—he means a lot to me, and I believe the feeling is mutual. Last year, we faced some challenges due to the distance and certain uncertainties in our relationship, which led to a break. During that time, I sensed he was going through a tough period (he has since confirmed this). He started going out more, drinking excessively, and not taking care of himself well, which included experimenting with drugs. While we were apart, he became quite close with an older friend (30) I had met once. My impression of this person wasn't the best; he made some disrespectful comments about women. I tried to address these issues calmly, which seemed to affect his behavior toward me. He even confronted me rather aggressively once for responding to a message with a smile emoji, which I found surprising. During their time together, this friend encouraged my boyfriend to experiment with various drugs. When we reconciled, my boyfriend was honest about everything. While I empathized with his feelings of being lost, I suggested stepping away from those habits for his well-being, which he agreed to do. However, he continues to spend a fair amount of time with this friend, who has tried to persuade him to use drugs again. I don’t want to judge this friend, but he appears to be struggling himself, and his values differ significantly from mine (he's in a toxic on-and-off relationship with his girlfriend, filled with arguments and drama). I fully trust my boyfriend's judgment and would never pressure him to cut ties with someone he cares about. However, I can't help but wish he would distance himself from this particular friend. It's not about controlling his relationships; I just want him to be surrounded by people who positively influence him. The second concern involves a friendship my boyfriend developed with a woman during our break. I trust him completely and believe that men and women can have genuine friendships (I have close male friends too). However, I noticed some physical affection between them in pictures and videos that made me a bit uncomfortable. We had an open conversation about it, and he was understanding, reassuring me and creating more space in that friendship, which I appreciate. The challenge is that in a month, I'll be moving from Italy to his state to live with him, and I'm not particularly excited about engaging with his group of friends, including these two individuals. I don’t want to create tension by making him choose between me and his friends, as that wouldn't be fair or healthy. Yet, I can't disregard my own feelings; I find it difficult to be around them given the circumstances, even though everyone else in the group is very kind. I would love to hear how others might handle a situation like this. How can I approach it in a way that strengthens our relationship and allows my boyfriend to make his own decisions while also respecting my feelings? Thank you for taking the time to read this! <3