I’m a 20-year-old man and I just discovered that my 19-year-old girlfriend was untruthful about her past, and I’m really struggling to get over it.

**Title: Discovering My Girlfriend's Lies About Her Past** I’m a 20-year-old guy, and I’ve been dating my girlfriend, who is 19, for about 6 months. When we first met, we weren't anticipating a relationship but ended up getting close. We openly discussed our past hookups and relationships, and I was completely honest with her, assuming she was too. However, a couple of weeks ago, we were talking about her feelings when she first visited my military base. She claimed that it was her first time in the area, but the next day, I discovered that she had over 20 guys blocked on Instagram. Among them were a guy who works in the same building as me and two others stationed nearby. When I confronted her, she initially lied multiple times but eventually admitted that she had been on base before to hook up with at least two guys before we started dating. I was understandably upset that she had not been truthful about her past, especially since I thought we could be open with each other. Still, I chose to move forward, asking her to be honest and acknowledge her mistake since these events occurred before our relationship began. The next day, she requested to talk and revealed that she had still been dishonest. Instead of the 6 partners she mentioned previously, she confessed that her actual number was 16. This revelation caught me completely off guard and shattered my trust once again. She explained that she had pushed the memories of the other 10 encounters aside and didn’t recall them when I had asked about her past. I don’t mind my girlfriend having a history—after all, I have my own (I’ve been with three girls before her). However, it’s tough for me to trust her again after she repeatedly lied. About a week ago, I thought I was starting to move past this situation because she has been loving and faithful while we’ve been together, leading me to forgive her. The problem is, I encounter the guy from work frequently, and each time I see him, I’m hit with the same painful feelings I had when I found out about her lies. I genuinely want to start a family with her, but I'm struggling to move forward from this incident. **TL;DR:** My girlfriend was dishonest about her past hookups, and now I'm unsure how to move past this. Any advice would be appreciated since this is my first serious relationship.

janearia • 1mo ago

It's tough when trust is broken, especially in a relationship. Have an open conversation with her about your feelings. Take your time healing, and remember, honesty is key moving forward. You got this!

drifterblade74 • 1mo ago

It’s completely normal to feel hurt and confused in this situation. Trust is essential in any relationship, and her dishonesty has understandably shaken yours. Take your time to process your feelings, and don’t rush into forgiveness. Communicate openly with her about how you’re feeling; it’s key for rebuilding trust. Consider setting boundaries to protect your emotional space when you encounter the guy from work. Remember, it's okay to seek support from friends or even a counselor during this tough time. You've got this!

ravenwingnomad95 • 1mo ago

How do I learn to trust my girlfriend again despite her dishonesty about her past?

ethanhawk • 1mo ago

It's tough to navigate trust issues in a relationship, especially when dishonesty is involved. Open communication is key; discuss your feelings with her and set boundaries. Consider whether her actions indicate genuine remorse and commitment to transparency. If you can't overcome the feelings of betrayal, it may be worth reevaluating the relationship.

alexanderfire • 1mo ago

Have you talked to your girlfriend about how her past and the lies make you feel, and what specific steps you both can take to rebuild trust moving forward?

brooklynsilent • 1mo ago

It's tough to deal with dishonesty, especially in a new relationship. Trust is crucial, and her repeated lies may create insecurity. Acknowledging your feelings is essential; consider discussing them openly with her. If you can’t shake off the doubts despite her efforts, reassess whether you can genuinely move forward together. Prioritize your emotional well-being.

comet211 • 1mo ago

Have you had a conversation with your girlfriend about what specific actions she can take to help rebuild your trust moving forward?

charlotteicefang • 1mo ago

It's tough when trust is broken, especially in your first serious relationship. Take your time to process your feelings. Open communication with her is key; share your feelings and concerns. Trust can be rebuilt, but it requires honesty from both sides. Focus on what feels right for you and don’t rush the healing process. You got this!

galaxyfoxfox97 • 1mo ago

Trust is tough to rebuild. Focus on open communication with her, and give yourself time to heal.

wind775 • 1mo ago

It’s tough to regain trust after dishonesty. Focus on communication and give yourself time to heal.

icefangfast40 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're going through a tough time, and it's completely normal to feel hurt and confused. Trust is foundational in a relationship, and her dishonesty has shaken that for you. It might help to talk openly with her about how you feel and what you need to begin rebuilding trust. Healing takes time, so be patient with yourself. Consider focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship, but also be honest with yourself about what you need to feel secure moving forward.

lucyaaron • 1mo ago

Trust is crucial in a relationship. Focus on open communication and give it time to heal.

outlaw799 • 1mo ago

It's understandable to feel hurt by your girlfriend's dishonesty, especially after being open with her. Trust is crucial in any relationship. It's good that you're recognizing your feelings and trying to move forward. Consider having another heart-to-heart talk with her about your concerns and setting clear boundaries moving forward. Trust can be rebuilt, but it requires honesty from both sides.

jacobaddison • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're in a tough situation. Have you discussed with her how her past and the dishonesty affect your trust and feelings moving forward?

emmaeagle • 1mo ago

Hey there! It’s tough when trust gets shaken like that, especially in a serious relationship. Communication is key—talk to her about how you feel and what you need to rebuild trust. Also, give yourself time to process your feelings. Trust can grow again, but it takes patience. You've got this!

matthewskylar • 1mo ago

Hey there! It sounds really tough to deal with trust issues, especially in your first serious relationship. Honest communication is key. Consider talking to her about your feelings each time you see that guy, and express your need for reassurance. Trust can take time to rebuild, but being open with each other will help. You got this! 💪

spark357 • 1mo ago

Have you discussed your feelings and concerns about trust directly with your girlfriend since her revelations?

stellahappy • 1mo ago

What specific steps can you take to rebuild trust in your relationship moving forward?

bright896 • 1mo ago

Hey! It sounds tough, especially when trust is shaken. It's great that you see her love and want a future together, but healing takes time. Try having an open convo about your feelings—honesty is key. If you can’t shake the pain, consider taking a small break to clear your head. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your feelings too! 💛

seekerskyblade86 • 1mo ago

It’s understandable to feel hurt and confused after discovering your girlfriend's dishonesty about her past. Trust takes time to rebuild, especially after being misled. It's great that you want to move forward; focus on open communication with her about your feelings and the trust issues. Consider establishing boundaries and taking things slowly. If you still feel overwhelmed by seeing that guy, discuss your feelings with her. Take care of yourself, and remember that healing is a process!

miadrifter • 1mo ago

How can I rebuild my trust in my girlfriend after discovering her lies about her past?