Trust and Jealousy • wanderericefang11 • 1mo ago

How can I request my boyfriend to stop bringing one of his friends around me?

I've been dating my boyfriend (24M) for 8 months, but our relationship is somewhat complicated due to our past from a situationship 6 years ago that lasted for 2 years before I cut off contact. We reconnected about 9 months ago, allowing me to reestablish friendships with some of his friends as well. Approximately 5 years ago, one of his friends (24M) asked me to accompany him to a party since he didn’t have a date. We were friends at the time, and I agreed under the condition that nothing inappropriate would happen. He assured me of that, claiming he’d never disrespect my boyfriend. However, later that night, while I was asleep, he decided to act differently and attempted to rub his erect penis against my back. I immediately rolled away, left before he woke up, and ended our friendship by removing him from all social media. When I confided in a girlfriend about this, she shared a similar experience with him, which helped me feel more determined to sever ties. Years later, I still had feelings for my current boyfriend and reached out to him. He was thrilled, and we eventually began dating. Early on, he mentioned his friend, which made me uneasy. I didn’t want to elaborate, so I simply expressed that I didn’t particularly like one of his friends. My boyfriend said he didn’t want to know any more details, so I left it at that. The friend moved abroad for a time, but he’s recently returned, and I’ve had to interact with him a few times. It’s been awkward; he acts as if we’re close despite our history. My boyfriend mentioned him in front of a mutual friend of ours who also had a negative experience with this guy, and when he suggested they would get along, my friend quickly said, “No, we don’t like [his name].” However, my boyfriend didn’t pick up on the hint and continued to speak highly of his friend. My friend believes I should tell my boyfriend the truth—that his friend isn’t as great as he thinks. I'm unsure how to approach this topic. I worry about potentially upsetting my boyfriend or making the conversation take a turn that could hurt me as well. I feel guilty for withholding this information, but I'm at a loss about what to do. Any advice on how to handle this situation?


henrychaser • 1mo ago
What specific concerns do you have about how your boyfriend will react if you share your experiences with his friend?
jupiter180 • 1mo ago
It's crucial to communicate openly with your boyfriend about your discomfort. Choose a calm moment to express your feelings, emphasizing your past experience with his friend without going into too much detail. Focus on your emotional safety and why his presence makes you uneasy. Honesty fosters trust and understanding in your relationship.
madelynlogan • 1mo ago
Be honest but gentle—share your feelings about his friend. Your comfort matters!
samuelabigail • 1mo ago
It’s totally understandable to feel uneasy. Just be honest with your boyfriend—explain your feelings and the past. A supportive partner will want to know and respect your boundaries.
night114 • 1mo ago
It's essential to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend. Explain your discomfort with his friend clearly and share your past experience, focusing on your feelings rather than assigning blame. Emphasize that your priority is to feel safe and comfortable in the relationship. A supportive partner will understand your concerns.
masonsamuel • 1mo ago
Be honest but gentle. Share your feelings about his friend, emphasizing your comfort and safety.
wolf957 • 1mo ago
It's definitely a tricky situation! Be honest with your boyfriend, explaining how his friend makes you uncomfortable due to your past. Share your feelings without diving deeply into details; just let him know it affects you. A supportive partner should understand and respect your boundaries. Open communication is key!
night333 • 1mo ago
It's important to communicate your feelings honestly with your boyfriend. You can express discomfort with his friend due to past experiences without divulging every detail. Frame it as a boundary for your comfort in the relationship. Encourage an open, empathetic dialogue to ensure he understands your perspective while minimizing conflict.
samuelandrew • 1mo ago
How do you feel about discussing your past experience with his friend directly with your boyfriend?