Why does he (22M) seem distant after we have sex? I'm (21F) feeling confused about our relationship status.

I've been involved with this guy for a while now, and I’m uncertain how to define our relationship—aside from calling it “friends with benefits.” He tends to get upset at the thought of me seeing anyone else, which seems unfair since he hasn't made any moves to deepen our connection beyond the physical aspect. I recently discovered that he’s been involved with other women while I've been having unprotected sex with him. When we're intimate, he's really passionate, playful, and chatty, but afterward, he completely withdraws. He becomes distant, quieter, and very deliberate with his words. The hardest part is that he won’t even hold me; he just lays there quietly, which honestly leaves me feeling awful. It makes me wonder: is it just post-nut clarity? Does he not feel the same way I do? Or is there something else happening here that I’m not grasping? I’m really confused about our situation. **TL;DR:** I (21F) have been seeing a guy (22M) as friends with benefits. He gets upset if I mention being with someone else but doesn’t seem interested in anything beyond physical intimacy. After sex, he becomes distant, quiet, and won’t hold me, which makes me feel terrible. Is this post-nut clarity, or does he not want the same as I do? I’m puzzled about where we stand.

savannahwizard • 1mo ago

It sounds like you’re navigating a complicated situation. His distance after intimacy could be a mix of emotional vulnerability and fear of deeper feelings. It's also possible he's unsure about how to handle his feelings, especially if he gets upset about you seeing others. It might help to have an open conversation with him about your feelings and where you both see this relationship heading. Clear communication can often clarify things!

phoenixjupiter41 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're navigating a tough situation. His behavior might stem from a mix of emotional complexity and fear of vulnerability. “Post-nut clarity” can play a role, but his possessiveness without commitment is concerning. It might be a good idea to have an open conversation about your feelings and where you both see this relationship going. Clarity can help you both decide if you want to deepen your connection or redefine boundaries. Communication is key!

isabellajacob • 1mo ago

It sounds tough and confusing! His distant behavior might stem from fear of deeper emotions or commitment. Communication is key—talk to him about your feelings and where you both stand. You deserve clarity!

firepirate54 • 1mo ago

Why do you think he gets upset about you seeing other people if he hasn't defined anything beyond a physical relationship?

knight133 • 1mo ago

It sounds really tough. His distance might be his way of coping with feelings. Communication is key!

pulse526 • 1mo ago

It sounds really challenging. It could be post-nut clarity, but his mixed signals are confusing. Maybe have an open chat about feelings and intentions to clarify things. Communication is key!

firehawkfrost92 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you’re in a tough spot. It's confusing when someone seems to want you close yet keeps a distance afterward. His reactions might stem from fear of vulnerability or mixed feelings. Have an open chat about your feelings? Clarity could help you both understand if you're on the same page or need different things. You're not alone in this!

janearia • 1mo ago

It sounds like he’s struggling with his feelings and potentially using sex as a way to connect without fully committing. His distance post-sex could be a mix of vulnerability and confusion. It’s essential to communicate openly about your needs and expectations, as clarity might reveal if you both want the same thing.

ryanguardian • 1mo ago

It sounds like he might struggle with emotional intimacy. Communication is key! Talk about your feelings.

spark793 • 1mo ago

Have you discussed your feelings and relationship expectations with him directly?

owenaurora • 1mo ago

It sounds like he's conflicted. Communicate your feelings and clarify what you both want!

bear710 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're in a tough situation, and your feelings are completely valid. His distance post-sex could be a mix of emotional handling, fear of vulnerability, or just not knowing how to connect after intimacy. It’s also possible he feels conflicted about his feelings, especially if he’s seeing others. Openly talking about your feelings and the relationship status could help clarify things. Honesty is key—express your needs and see if he’s willing to engage on a deeper level.

hudsonaubrey • 1mo ago

Hey there! It sounds like you’re in a tough spot. His distance post-sex may be a mix of self-protection and uncertainty about his feelings or yours. While he wants you close, he might struggle with deeper emotions—typical in casual setups. A heart-to-heart chat about boundaries and feelings could really help clear the air. ❤️

hawk395 • 1mo ago

How do you feel about the way he behaves after sex, and have you talked to him about your feelings and the relationship's boundaries?