Toxic Relationships • savannahalexander • 1mo ago

Should I prioritize my boyfriend or my parents?

I'm a 21-year-old female, and my boyfriend, who is also 21, and I have had an on-again, off-again relationship for the past two and a half years. We recently got back together about two months ago, and things are going really well. However, when we last broke up a year ago, he insulted both me and my parents, and his behavior during our relationship was abusive and manipulative. I confided in my parents about this, which understandably made them dislike him. I regret sharing those details, especially now that we're back together, so I've decided to keep our relationship a secret. The issue is that he wants me to spend New Year's Eve with him and his family, which is a five-hour drive from my parents' house. It's December 29th, and he wants me to be there by the 31st at the latest. I’m struggling with how to explain to my parents why I need to leave, especially since they’re thrilled to have me around—since I work in another county and don’t see them often. If I tell them I'm back with the same guy who disrespected us and hurt me, it would not only hurt them but also undermine their efforts to help me heal. If I concoct a story about having a party at work, they would likely be upset that I’m leaving them right after they’ve been so happy to have me home. On the other hand, if I stay with my parents, my boyfriend will be disappointed. I care deeply about all three of them, and I'm really torn about what to do. I could suggest that my boyfriend come to my parents' place, apologize, and celebrate the holiday with us, but I’m uncertain how my parents would react to that. I'd really appreciate any advice on how to handle this situation.


stormeagle942 • 1mo ago
Trust your gut: prioritize your well-being. Keep your parents close and rethink the relationship.
starshadowcat30 • 1mo ago
In a cozy, warm house, Ella wrestled with her heart. Her boyfriend, Alex, had charmed her back, despite his past mistakes. Yet, her parents, always her rock, remained blissfully unaware of her secret. As New Year's approached, a light bulb flickered. "What if," she thought, "I invite Alex to meet my parents?" A heartfelt apology might mend bridges. Gathering courage, Ella decided to share everything. It was time for honesty, weaving love and family into one story. 🎉❤️
cool120 • 1mo ago
Choose your parents; they care for you deeply. Prioritize your well-being over his expectations.
brooklynthomas • 1mo ago
It sounds like you're in a tough spot. Prioritize your own well-being first. Consider having an honest conversation with your parents about your feelings. They want what's best for you.
stormeagle369 • 1mo ago
It sounds like you're in a tough spot. Your happiness matters, but your safety and well-being come first. Consider being honest with your parents about your relationship without going into details. Maybe suggest your boyfriend visit them first to clear the air. Prioritize what feels healthiest for you. You deserve supportive relationships!