My girlfriend [25F] makes me feel undervalued [25M]. Any advice?

Hey everyone! I’ve been considering sharing my thoughts here for a while, and I finally decided to do it. I’m a 25-year-old man who has been feeling uncertain about my relationship with my girlfriend for the past year and a half. I truly care for her, but I’m worried that I might be standing in my own way. To give you some background, when we first met, I had just moved to her hometown after finishing school, and we instantly clicked. We started spending a lot of time together, and things seemed perfect. She's very athletic, which I really admired since I was active as well. At one point, she encouraged me to gain weight because she thought I was “too small” at 6’2” and 190 lbs. I eventually did put on the weight. Fast forward three years—we moved out of her hometown because I felt we needed a change. Her behavior often felt rude, and although she valued me momentarily, I didn’t feel truly wanted; it seemed like I was just a means to help her get through school. I endured a tough year of feeling mistreated, all because I loved her and wanted things to improve. Now, after a year of living in a new place that I genuinely love, we’ve found ourselves stuck in a rut. Despite my desire to be active, she seems less interested in the fitness lifestyle that initially attracted me to her. While I’ve managed to maintain my fitness, she has gained some weight, which isn’t muscle. I hate to say it, but I crave an active lifestyle—skiing, running, swimming, hiking—and was led to believe she shared that interest, yet she usually prefers watching TV, avoids conversations, claiming she can’t handle them, or going shopping. Speaking of conversations, I put in a lot of effort to engage with her, but often she responds with short answers like “yeah” and doesn’t genuinely participate. It feels like she’s distancing herself from me, yet she still expresses her love and can be very clingy at times. Ultimately, I find myself feeling restricted. I want a partner who will support me when I want to go for a quick jog with a friend, rather than making me justify my actions. As a therapist, I hope that she understands our dynamic, but it feels like she uses it against me, making me feel obligated to cater to her needs whenever I try to discuss my concerns. I’m seeking any advice you may have. If you need more details or have questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m worried because she’s been hinting at wanting engagement, but I feel like I have a mother rather than a girlfriend or fiancée—and that’s a tough realization to come to. Additionally, she often turns small issues into arguments. It could be something as simple as choosing where to have lunch (which I usually decide). When she’s stressed, she has a tendency to lash out. Again, feel free to ask for more information if you need it. Just a heads up, I’m using a burner account but will check back for your responses. Thanks, everyone!